u/RoyalPotato7328

Please excuse any errors in my grammar, English is not my first language so please ask for clarification if needed.

I already posted this, but to make a long story short, grandma is training me for this job because she was the baby’s primary caregiver. She’s leaving because she’s moving. She didn’t have a distinct day she was going to leave, just “when she found the right place”. Originally I was told her training would last 2-3 weeks, which made sense to me. It’s going on three months now and she’s micromanaging everything I do and it’s driving me insane. Here’s the thing, I’ve been a career nanny for 8 years and it’s not that I’m not a good nanny, it’s she wants someone who’s exactly like HERSELF. If it’s not her way it’s not perfect. It’s not that I’m not good at the job, I’m just not a copy paste version of her.

Here’s the update: yesterday she told me she’s been putting off moving until I am “ready to take on the job myself”. It’s been 3 months and I feel like I’m really getting dumbed down. She also let it slide that parents wanted me to have some alone time with the baby, but she told the no because the baby is “not ready”. I think her definition of “ready” is when the baby picks me over her (he’s 18 months, call me crazy but waiting for the day where the baby picks me over her is like waiting for the day a kid will pick their nanny over their parents when they’re in a room. Also I haven’t had a chance to bond with the baby because we haven’t had any one-on-one time). Also if the baby does get fussy with transitioning over to me (I mean like when I walk in the door in the morning and she hands him over and he starts to cry) she’ll straight up cry with him…that’s not making the transition easier.

It’s to the point where I don’t think it’s worth thinking “it’ll get better when she leaves”.

Here’s where things get rocky. I feel like if I quit, I’m going to be a horrible person who wasted three months of this family’s life on useless “training”. That, and the parents enrolled the baby in summer daycare to accommodate my schedule. I feel like they’ve accommodated me a lot and I would be am asshole if I quit so close to summer.

I’ve already gotten an offer from another family, but I just don’t know how to quit. I’m not sure if I even should quit cause I don’t wanna be a bad person who inconvenienced this family.

Edit to add: the parents mentioned at the beginning that grandma might be a little upset or even rude because she doesn’t want to leave the kids (grandpa retired and they’re moving to a lowest cost of living area, more quite, I guess it wasn’t their first choice but the most responsible). So, they mentioned this training and letting her choose when to go was to help HER easily transition.

Also, remember the Reddit post where a nanny said her past boss called her because when she spoke to a potential family as a reference, the family was really rude and the boss didn’t want the nanny being disrespected at her new job. Yep…I was the nanny and the family was this family…

I posted this yesterday and got worried one of my employers would see it, but I really need advice so here’s the repost🤒made an account hoping for some advice

So basically, I want to leave this job, but I’m unsure if I’m even giving it a fair shot.

This job I met through an agency (first time going through an agency). I did a “trail run” about 2 hours just playing with the kids and talking to them parents. The parents seemed great and told me they would talk to the agency and call my references.

Here’s my first red flag; I got a call from one of my previous nanny mom She basically told me that she had talked to my current nanny family as a reference, and she put in a good word, but the parents were rude and “wound tight” and she didn’t want to see me work for anyone disrespectful. She also showed me a screenshot of MB texting her, and ya, she was right, MB was giving her a rude tone.

I wasn’t sure what to do, the family seemed nice when I spoke to them. I decided it wouldn’t be fair to not give them a shot, and I went ahead with the job.

Now, before I started they had grandma do childcare (she’s leaving because grandpa/her husband will be retiring and they’re moving somewhere where the cost of living is lower). They told me grandma would be training me for 2 weeks, which made total sense at the time I mean I’ll be taking her job.

It’s been two months now, and grandma hasn’t mentioned she’s leaving anytime soon. She keeps saying they’re “waiting till they find the right place”, and I guess they just haven’t found it.

So far working with grandma hasn’t been easy, she micromanages ALOT. She has the “if it’s not my way it’s the wrong way” mentality. It comes across and very rude and very bossy. She knows this too, she’ll say something like “I’m not trying to give you a hard time I’m just trying to help” or “I’m this way because I care”, but it hasn’t been making this transition easier. She also treats me like I haven’t had ANY nannying experience. For the first two weeks, she had me WATCH diaper changes. I haven’t had any one-on-one time with the kids!

Also, I’ve noticed that when it comes to discussing the kids schedules, or how they’re progressing/reaching milestones (one infant 6 months and a toddler 2 years), the parents kind of go straight to grandma, they don’t really talk to me.

Edit to add; if you were to leave, what would you say? I feel like I’m going to shit on MB’s parents by saying “I can’t work with your mother she’s being too difficult even if she is about to leave”.