life decisions
hi guys. i’m 27 years old and was diagnosed with kidney disease when i was 10 from a rare autoimmune issue called henoch-schonlein pupura. my kidneys failed beginning of last year and i commenced peritoneal dialysis. pd was very painful for me as i had drain pain everytime. lucky for me i got the call in september last year and got a transplant. my new kidney was thriving at the beginning, gfr in the 60-70 range. it’s been a year now and my kidney function has rapidly declined and is continuing too, with a current gfr of 28. i was recently diagnosed with diabetes and have gained 30kg since the transplant. i have been in and out of hospital many times since the transplant. with sepsis, severe dehydration and unexplained blood in stool.
i have a list of issues already:
IBS
DIABETES TYPE 2
CKD
TACHYCARDIA
MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER
ANXIETY
ADENOMYOSIS
MIGRAINE ATTACKS
CHRONIC PAIN
and i’m just about tired of my life. i was promised a new life and a thriving kidney which has not been the case. no matter how hard i try i don’t feel like im getting anywhere.
if my kidneys go into failure within the next year or 2 i am thinking about letting life take its natural course. i’ve spoken to my sisters about it and they said they are very upset that i feel this way but ultimately if it’s that bad for me then they don’t want me to suffer.
i’m very young and wish i had more motivation to stay. but i do not want a life surrounded by treatment, doctors, medications and poor health. i’m very tired and had enough. and i can only imagine that it’s gonna get worse for me. this is hard for me to talk about but i’m going to bring it up to my specialist at my next appointment to get his perspective. i’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on the matter.