u/Agile-Illustrator583

Hi my people xx

so my friend and I‘ve been friends for like 3 years and i liked him ever since. our convos were/are very deep and you know all my other friends told me „regular friends dont text/talk like that“ and like „there is definetly more than just friendship“. and im not out the closet for him so he thinks im striaght (even tho its super obvious that i like him). so i wanted to ask how do i know if he likes me but is unsure, or has internalized homophobia due to his religion etc.

\[some information: he shows me the side of him he doesnt show anyone. at school he was very distant towards me (cause i was with my girls) but online we were like texting and yk. he doesnt have an explanation why he likes me or „chose“ me to show me THAT side of him. and we just started hanging out this year because he didnt like going out with me bc he had a stomache ache all the time before we hung out (perhaps butterflies 👀). but now we hang out so dw bout that. one time he even ate a strawberry out of my hand. and he doesnt treat his other friends like me he breadcrumbs me most of the time (i know its bad but not THAT bad yk, he‘s an avoidant im used to it) and one time as we were outside i was drunk and i asked him why he treated me different than the others and he said „i dont know“ but i persisted and he said „its because no one sees me like you“ and then he started crying. last meetup he even cried so so much he only showed that side to his ex girlfriend from 3 years ago.\]

soo yeah if you have more questions about him ask me but yeah how can i know if he‘s dl or is just scared and unsure yk. thank youuu xx

so I live in germany and to my fellow balkan/middle eastern gays/bi‘s how do you all find ur lovers??? cause im turkish and almost every middle eastern guy didnt come out as gay yet or like wont show it etc. due to religion and culture (espeacially albanian guys. istg i had some albanian situationships where they didnt really come out as gay but it was obvious that they were) and almost everyone has internalized homophobia??? please tell me how i find my DL middle eastern guy😔😭 (yes i‘m dl aswell cause my family is religious af but like i know im bi and dont have internalized homophobia).

ofc i considered apps like grindr or other dating sites but tbh i‘m a little bit scared that SOMEHOW any family member see‘s it…

pls tell me ur experiences or how u guy‘s do/did it.

Hey everyone, I really need some outside perspective on a situation that’s been driving me crazy. I’ve developed serious feelings for a close friend of mine ("A"), (fyi, we’re both muslim but i’ve accepted my sexuality and like am more open than he is i guess)

anywY after spending the last 48 hours with him, I’m vibrating between "he’s definitely into me" and "I’m completely delulu." My straight friends think I'm overthinking, but some of the things he said feel way too specific to be just "bro" talk.

It started the night before our trip. We were on the phone, and I started reading him some lyrics—specifically "my hair" by Ariana Grande. I told him flat out that I usually never let anyone touch my hair, but he’s the only exception. Instead of making it weird, he just said, "That sounds good," in a really chill way.

The next day, we went to a lake with my cousins fpr a picnic. From the start, the vibe was intense. My cousin mentioned it felt like a "family trip," and when I joked that "A" is officially part of the family now, he just laughed and leaned into it. Throughout the day, we were talking about some pretty "freaky" stuff. We got onto the topic of "gooning" (TMI, I know), and I asked him what he actually focuses on when he does it. He just laughed, looked at me, and said, "What do you mean 'on what'?" like it was a "sus" or obvious question. He admitted he sometimes does it 3x a day, which is a lot of info to share if you're not comfortable with someone.

The teasing from my cousins made it even more suggestive. At one point, one of them had those long cheese snack sticks and challenged us to see who could shove it in deeper. "A" didn't hesitate—he basically did a "deepthroat" motion with the snack, which left me speechless + I fed him a strawberry by hand and he actually ate it right out of my hand i was going to feed it to my cousin and said „lets act romantic“ but she was like ask „A“ and yeah.

Later, my cousin told mr I was "cute" and that „A“ should just "eat me up," and "A" responded by saying that I am "the dessert."

The physical boundaries were also non-existent. I was pulling out pollen out of his hair. It felt incredibly romantic. When my cousin saw how nice my hair looked and tried to touch it, I shut her down immediately, saying "Only 'A' is allowed to touch it." He just sat there and let it happen, totally fine with being the only one allowed in my space.

After we went for a 5km run, we were both exhausted. I said, "Man, you really f***ed my legs with that run," and my cousin jokingly asked, "Only his legs?" "A" then said, "No, not just his legs." Later, i showed him a tiktok which said: „gooning with bro over facetime“ and he said something like „the best“ my cousin was curious and saw the tiktok too, then she asked if we had already done it, we joked "Yeah, obviously," but then he added, "It’s still to happen".

There were quieter moments too. We were lying on our backs in the grass, just the two of us while the others were away. We kept making intense eye contact, and I told him I just wanted to listen to him talk for a while. He’s usually the "tough guy" with his boys, but with me, he’s soft. I also noticed he has FaceID locks on literally everything on his phone, which makes me wonder if he’s "DL" (down-low) and hiding this side of himself.

2 days later i was talking about him to another Bi friend of mine and he said lets test something out. so i asked „A“ what kind of song i‘d be, he was like thinking for 4 minutes but then he said some random unfunny song then to tease him i said „M said i‘d be „kiss it better“ and you say this?“ and he was like „oh no😔“. and like a real mood switch.

I’m so "in love" since yesterday, but I’m terrified of misreading this. Is this just peak "bro humor" where straight guys act gay for the plot, or is he actually testing the waters and waiting for me to make a real move?