Stepmom/BM communications
My bf and I live together and his ex wife lives about 30 min away. We switch off their 9yo son every week
The three of us are in a text group and I try not to comment too much - I know I’m mostly there as an “fyi” so that my bf doesn’t have to remember to share any kid details w me from bm. It works well actually…well it did.
We are dealing with some big stuff. Maybe beginning of puberty. But def a lot of emotional stuff for his son. So there’s more communication happening on our text thread
Well…my bf is not being great about it. He’s jumping to conclusions and not being very responsive. Last night he went to sleep without responding to something. I was laying in bed next to him and recognizing his ex wife is probably also awake and stressing bc she’s waiting to hear from him.
So I texted her and she and I talked things out. We both felt calmer about the whole thing after. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened. But it’s not.
She and I have had a few such text exchanges in recent months and one or two phone calls as well. It feels like we can help everyone if we do this.
But the problem is, it’s not right for my relationship. If the roles were reversed I would feel so betrayed. And I would feel disrespected.
So I plan to tell her (and I’m sure she will agree) that going forward our texts need to include my bf/her ex on them unless it’s logistics stuff like a pickup or drop off. And I plan to tell her that I’ll try and help bf/ex do the right thing communication wise…but I hope she knows that just bc I don’t say anything to her doesn’t mean I agree with everything he says and how he handles it.
Does this all seem like a good plan and a good way to un-fuck myself from this situation?