22 with agoraphobia!!
Hi all, I’m not really a Reddit user but I’ve been desperately seeking a community of people like me and thought this would be a good place to find it!
Last year I struggled with agoraphobia quite badly, I would leave just to go on a walk or go to the convenience store and breakdown crying on my porch because I couldn’t do it. I got better over a period of months with heavy medication and exposure therapy but unfortunately it’s back again due to a sequence of panic attacks I had while in public.
However, it’s much different now because I don’t have the financial support I used to have from family and I have a boyfriend who I’d very much like to keep. My life is completely on hold once again. No income because I can barely leave the house, I’ve put my education on hold again, I’ve isolated myself from friends and family, I find joy in nothing.
At 22 I’m seeing people travel the world, move away from home, and just having fun. It feels so isolating and depressing that this is how I’m spending this time in my life. Not to mention how disappointed in myself I am after coming so far just to be right back where I started.
My boyfriend and I met when I was doing good, he’s an amazing person and so supportive of me - he’s even paying for my therapy! But like most people he doesn’t understand, he’s very outgoing and social. I can’t help but wonder when he’ll get tired of this, and I feel very guilty that he’s taken on a lot of the financial aspects of our relationship.
As for my friends, I’ve isolated myself from pretty much all of them which I also feel guilty for. It’s just hard for me to be completely honest with people about this because it’s not exactly something I’m proud of. The one friend I haven’t isolated myself from is just an angel, she doesn’t push my boundaries but sometimes it feels like she walks on egg shells around me because she’s scared I’ll be anxious, my family that know act like that as well.
I’m so tired of feeling like this, but I’m here to take accountability and support you all through your journeys! <3