u/Agreeable-Leek-244

First disclaimer my partner has not shared this information with me, we are in a small community and I am aware of this through other ways.

He has started seeing someone as probably ore of a casual/ FWB situation, they haven't had sex or had a conversation about it yet.

This new person swings, has a lot of very casual sex, glory hole type arrangements, a lot with no barriers, they also engage in some risky kink play. (No shaming here, just facts).

My partner as default uses barriers for intercourse with all casual partners.

This is outside my comfort zone and I would request to start using barriers with my partner both for penetrative sex and condoms and dams for oral sex.

I have seen a lot of talk in various forums saying that asking your partner to use protection for oral sex is punishing them for making choices you disagree with.

I don't think this, I think it is enforcing my boundary around my risk profile- I am really interested to hear others opinions on how they deal with this.

A potential person my partner has been on a couple of dates with showed up on my Fet, I didn't realise who it was until after I'd had a look at their profile.

Honestly the way they practice kink and swinging is so unethical that I would not be in a relationship with my partner if they continued seeing them.

I can't share this because it feels like both an invasion of the person's privacy and giving my partner an ultimatum. Do I just have to be firm on my boundaries and end things with my partner if he keeps seeing them? Any advice or options that don't feel like a roundabout veto or ultimatum? To be clear we absolutely don't have vetoes, which is why my first instinct is I need to end things with him.

My partner way over shared some kink stuff that a person that he went on a date is into.

He hasn't had a second date with the person yet, but I am so uncomfortable with it, and with what I know about the person now that the only option I see is to end my relationship because I just can't get past it and it distresses me.

I am totally aware in theory that he fucks other people and does kink with other people, and I can absolutely deal with it and it never crosses my mind.

Knowing about this, I just can't get past it at all, does anyone have any ideas that aren't as extreme as having to end a relationship because my brain that is normally very chill is destroying me about this one thing.

I have dates myself, a full life, I go to therapy, I have normal amounts of jealousy, but never anything like this.