Coffee dates with out-of-towner (M57). I (F52) didn’t expect to connect like this. Now what?
A few months ago, I dipped my toe in the online dating pool after a 20+ year relationship. I’m stronger now but not ready to jump into something serious.
I’ve been cautious, only low time commitment dates in spots I know well. Coffee. An early drink. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people and am transparent about my situation before meeting in person. Those meet-ups have been nice and friendly, not life changing.
A few weeks ago, I (F52) agreed to meet a man (M57) who was in town for work meetings. I had low expectations. We met for coffee, took a walk, and he kissed me. He was so much more than I expected. We messaged that evening and agreed to meet again for coffee the next day. Things clicked, more intensely than the first day. Then he left for the airport.
We’ve been in touch every day since, slowly getting to know each other. Voice and video calls have been good. Texting has been fun and flirty. We both have kids and demanding jobs so neither of us are dropping everything to explore something long distance.
I am not so naive to think he is “the one” but I want to see him again. We don’t know each other well enough for me to invite him to stay with me. And it feels weird for me to suggest I travel to his town.
How do these things usually go? Should I expect things to gradually cool off and then die out?
Or if things keep deepening, how long should I wait until suggesting we see each other in-person again? How can I make sure there is the flexibility to cut things short if it is weird together or to extend our time if we continue clicking?
Has anyone had something like this become real?