What’s your take on having a video call before meeting up in person?
TL;DL: I started having video calls with matches before meeting up and this has been successful. I am curious to hear others’ thoughts on this. Ideally looking to hear from women, but I’d be curious to hear what guys think too.
40M, online dating with intention for about a month now. I matched with R. Our timing was off and basically can’t meet for 5 weeks with both of us traveling. We chatted for about a week (only about 3-4 longer messages from each us per day but the conversation was good imo). Around the one week mark she suggested a video call. I heard about some people doing this and recommending it from a dating podcasts, but I have never done it myself. I agreed and we had a video call for an hour about a week after she proposed it. We agreed to have a drink over the call. Good conversation, laughter, teasing. I was pleasantly surprised how well the video call went. I still talk with R (we are in our 3rd week since matching and had a second video call with her on Sunday). I am currently on vacation visiting family till Friday. I got 4 more matches (S, L, L2, and R2) around the second week of chatting with R. Little back and forth chatting with each. I mention my busy schedule (travel+time with my son). I propose a video call to each of them. S, L, and L2 agree. R2 wants to chat when I am back in town and free. I had a video call with L on Sunday, S on Monday, and L2 tonight. S lasted about 45 min (conversation didn’t flow and just wasn’t fun). L and L2 lasted around 90 min each and were great. S was in normal clothes. L was in her PJs when we connected (it was 9:00 pm and she is typically asleep by 10:00 pm, she told me beforehand she was wearing PJs and ready for bed). Coincidentally L2 and I went for a run right before our video call and we connected still wearing our workout clothes. That was a great conversation starter and she also got to meet my mother who popped into the room which made for some light hearted conversation. My weekend opened up and I now have a bike ride and coffee date with L on Sat and a paddle boarding date with L2 on Sun. Both were scheduled toward the end of our video call.
For me, 3 of 4 women I matched with were agreeable to the video call I proposed before a first date. The convenience of a video call can’t be matched. It seems 2 of the 3 women I had a video call with took advantage of the convenience as well (one wore PJs ready for bed and the other still wearing sweaty workout clothes). I am genuinely curious to hear peoples’ take on this. Would you have a video call with your match before having a first date? Why or why not?