r/hinge

Hi All!

I reported a male in April for sending me an unsolicited sexual video via iPhone (offline). A few days later, I was banned. My only guess would be that he reported me back. I'm a very respectful person and have read over the guidelines many times, and I haven't violated any. I appealed it and was immediately denied. I felt violated, so I have sent Hinge about 10 requests to manually review it, and each time they said the decision was final. I sent them an arbitration notice 58 days ago, and plan to file for arbitration later this week. They did not respond to my notice within the 60 days allowed to respond. Does anyone have any experience going down this route? Any luck?

Hi! Thanks in advance for any perspective. I know I’m probably overanalyzing this, but this one genuinely threw me and I’d really appreciate some outside opinions, especially from men.

A guy sent me a Rose on Hinge and we talked for a couple of weeks because he was out of town. Pretty much immediately, he said he wanted to take me out when he got back, and we kept talking every few days until he returned. Once he was back, he proposed a day and we went out.

The date was honestly incredible. The banter and chemistry were immediate. It felt weirdly comfortable, like I had known him for a long time. We were constantly making each other laugh, riffing off each other, and our sense of humor and personalities seemed extremely compatible. We also had very similar lived experiences and kept finding things to relate to.

At one point he told me that he had actually seen me on a mutual friend’s social media before we matched and had tried to find me, and when he eventually saw me on Hinge, he knew he wanted to take me out. He was also very complimentary throughout the night, both about my appearance and my personality.

After the bar, we went to a park and kept talking. We kissed, and eventually I asked if he wanted to come back to my apartment. I was interested in sleeping with him, but I wasn’t expecting or requiring it. I felt comfortable with him and wanted to keep the night going.
He said he absolutely wanted to come back, but he also specifically said something along the lines of, “I just want you to know that’s not all this is for me.” I told him I appreciated him saying that and that we didn’t have to have sex, and he said he still wanted to.

We went back to my place, and he was genuinely curious about everything - my apartment, my roommates, the pictures on my walls, etc. It felt like he was interested in me, not just getting me into bed.

We ended up having sex, and it was extremely good and very intimate. We had multiple rounds back-to-back (he said he doesn’t recall ever being able to do that many), and afterward we spent the night cuddling, talking and laughing. Before we slept together, he’d told me it was the best Hinge date he’d ever been on, and I told him I felt the same. Later, while we were falling asleep, he said again that he’d had a really great time.

The next morning was also great. We were both completely sober and the conversation and chemistry felt just as natural. He had to leave for work, and while I was walking him downstairs, a package I’d ordered arrived. We opened it together, and a few hours later I’d hung it up, so I sent him a picture.
His response was basically just, “Wow, that looks really cool.” It wasn’t rude, but it was pretty dry. I didn’t continue the conversation. I had actually intended to text him something like “I had such a great time, thank you,” but after that response I decided not to.
The next day I followed him on Instagram. He followed me back.

A couple days later, I was out with friends and came across something we’d joked about on our date, so I sent him a picture of it. He didn’t respond for a day or two, but eventually he did — and he asked me multiple questions about it. So I thought, okay, maybe he’s just a slow texter. His texting frequency was actually fairly similar to how he’d communicated with me before we met.
I responded and asked him a question about something he’d told me was happening later that week. That was Sunday.

It’s now Wednesday, and he still hasn’t responded. It’s been a full week since our date.
I’m not really looking for someone to tell me “he’s definitely secretly obsessed with you” or anything. At this point, I understand that his behavior isn’t showing much active interest, and I’m trying to accept that.
What I genuinely can’t figure out is what happened between the experience we had and the behavior afterward.

Because I truly believe he had a great time. The chemistry felt extremely mutual, the conversation was effortless, he was very affectionate and complimentary, and the next morning felt just as good as the night before. I don’t think you can necessarily fake that kind of banter and comfort for an entire date, overnight, and the following morning.
So I’m struggling to reconcile “that was clearly an amazing experience for both of us” with “he hasn’t made any real effort to see me again.”

Is this just a case of someone having an amazing time, being genuinely attracted to someone, but ultimately deciding they don’t want to pursue it? Is there something I’m missing? Do some people just compartmentalize a great experience and move on very easily? Or does his behavior suggest something different?

I’m especially interested in hearing from guys who have experienced something similar — have you ever had an objectively amazing date/connection with someone and then decided not to pursue it afterward? If so, why?

I know none of us can know what’s in his head. I’m mostly trying to understand the range of possibilities here because the contrast between the date and what happened afterward has genuinely confused me.

Thanks in advance.

So, i've met a guy on Hinge, I thought we were doing great until yesterday

He's from England and I'm from Mexico, we live far away from each other and... i just wanna cry

he told me just yesterday that he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, that he wanted to get married since he was a child, he talked to his friends about me, but he had fear that i was gonna hurt his feelings and... stuff like this

But today we had a call, where... things just didn't worked out

I mean, I thought it was just a disagreement and that we could reach some middle point (we live far away from each other, and he agreed at the beginning to have an online relationship for a while), but after the call i told him that i want him and he said But chill out till we sort our situation

So now i feel </2 heartbroken, he used to text me many times per day, yestarday he told me that he missed me, and today he hasnt texted me since the call and

I dont know but feel like maybe its over and i dont want it to be over, we had calls but today was our first videocall and im thinking maybe he didnt liked me physically?

his attitude changed so much one day to another, we said we were gonna have a call again tomorrow but not sure if hes gonna show up, or if i should write to him first, or... im so lost

havent fell in love in a while, and could try with someone else, he was the only match i had, but i delated the app after meeting him cuz... we were doing so fine, im more heartbroken than i expected and feel so desperate and not sure what to do :,(

wont try dating anyone on a while after this, ive had relationships on person and still he was the person i fell more in love in such short amount of time

advice?

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I (28F) have been seeing a guy (36M) for about a month. I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting to something that happened.

When we met, I wasn’t immediately sure about him. He’s quieter and more reserved than my usual type. But we kept seeing each other, and each date got better. By the third and fourth dates, we had really good chemistry, banter, and a lot in common. I started genuinely developing feelings for him.
He told me he’s **monogamous and intentionally dating**, so I understood that he was looking for a relationship rather than something casual. We’re obviously not exclusive after a month, and I never assumed we were.

He also invited me to his birthday events next week.
We haven’t had sex, but we’ve hooked up twice. Two nights ago I spent the night at his house, and everything felt really good. I left feeling like things were progressing and that we were becoming more serious.

**Then, the day I left his house, I saw him on hinge (we met on Raya), and I didn’t like or x him, so I saw him again the next day again** **noticed that he had completely updated his dating profile—new photos etc.**

And I honestly broke down.
I want to emphasize that I’m **not upset because we’re not exclusive**. And I know that I was on that app too (more so habit, and I haven’t been talking to anyone new or responding to matches/likes). I know he’s technically single and can date other people. What bothers me is that he has repeatedly told me he’s intentionally dating and is looking for something monogamous, while simultaneously actively putting effort into finding new women on dating apps. Especially because I had just spent the night with him and had finally started letting my guard down and developing real feelings.

And now I haven’t heard from him in 2 days, and instead of checking in on me, he’s doing that. I feel sad about it, and now there’s a cloud over what was so far all green flags and a positive experience. A big part of me just wants to end it if he’s still unsure about pursuing me after 1 month / 4 dates.

Am I being unreasonable? Is this just completely normal behavior when you’re dating someone for a month and aren’t exclusive, or would you also find it strange given the context?
Would you bring it up with him, or just see what he does next, or just cut it off?

**TL;DR:** I (28F) have been seeing a guy (36M) for about a month/4 dates. He’s told me he’s monogamous and intentionally dating, invited me to his birthday events, and things have been progressing really well. We haven’t had sex, but we’ve hooked up twice, and I spent the night at his place two nights ago.

We met on Raya, but the day after I left his house I saw him on Hinge, and then saw him again the following day with a completely updated profile/new photos. I know we aren’t exclusive and I’m not upset that he’s technically dating other people—I was even still on the app myself out of habit—but it feels weird that he’s actively updating his profile and looking for new women right after we spent the night together, especially after telling me he’s intentionally dating.

I also haven’t heard from him in 2 days. What was previously a really positive experience with mostly green flags now feels clouded, and part of me wants to end it if he’s still actively looking elsewhere after a month.

**Am I overreacting? Is this normal when you’re not exclusive, or would you find it strange given the context? Would you bring it up, wait and see what he does, or just walk away?**

I matched with a girl which is rare for me we sent a couple messages to each other I had a good opener that she responded to really happily but now I haven’t heard from in 2 days

I date men so I only see mens profile. What I don’t understand is that i see so many who never show their face or even eyes on their pictures:

Wears sunglasses so can’t see the eyes
Pictures are from the back
Hangs head down
Pictures are from a far distance away
Makes silly faces

I want to see your eyes and your face in a normal relaxed state. No extreme grimaces, no sunglasses , no head hanging down , and close enough so I can see your face.

The excessive gym pictures , party pictures , group pictures , pictures with children is also a pet peeve. I nope so many people because I’m tired of guessing who they are or what they actually look like . If you do have to put other people in the picture put a smiley face to cover their face.

This is about men’s pictures. If you take offense and want to make it about all your issues with women keep it moving. This is not about that b

I went on a date with this girl, she asked me questions about my upbringing and I was just being honest with her. I told her everything about me that she wanted to know, such as my education, my job, my hobbies, and my dreams. I don't know if she felt like I was trying show off to her, I don't know if she felt intimidated, but I was just being honest. I was just answering her questions...I'm very grateful I was born in a great family, I got into one of the best unis in the world, I got fortunate enough to later work in big companies after graduating, I'm very grateful I'm able to travel a lot too. What can I do next time not to repeat this?

I've been on tinder, bumble, and hinge.

Tinder is absolute garbage. Literally 0 matches except for women from Africa using passport mode. Idk why Tinder is like this, it's kind of hard to get people to buy gold and boosts when you literally don't get matches.

Bumble is a bit better, but still only 3-4 matches after a week of swiping. And that was with the paid version for a week.

Hinge seems pretty decent. I paid for a week of +, and so far it's been around 10 matches, nothing has gone anywhere yet but the matches are coming in way more than bumble or tinder.

Is there anything else I should try? Or is Hinge where it's at?

This isn't just hinge, but across the other apps I"m on too. I'm an asian man, and don't seem to have much success with white women. But surprisingly I'll get a higher than expected number of black women matching me.

I mean, it's not like 50 women or anything, but 1-3 every week, in a very white town.

Is the black woman - asian man combo rising in popularity?

I just got out of a year long relationship a month ago and got on hinge for the laughs, but I ended up talking to someone I’m actually pretty interested in. Before I agree to meet up with this guy, I need help!

This is my first time on a dating app. How long should I talk to him before going out? And how can I assure it will be safe?

Also I’d love to hear some success stories! I don’t feel confident in dating apps but I think this guy is really amazing and I’m curious what the odds are.

I’ve been on hinge for a year or two at least. My therapist and I went over my profile again, and revamped one message. So, idt it’s a profile issue.

I’ve put my baggage confidently on my first prompt: transition phase - looking for job, and then working to move out of family house.

Usually, people stop responding if they become uninterested. The last two nights, however, I’ve noticed that the two women I’ve talked to have unmatched me without warning. Anyone have any idea what might be up, and if there are any improvements I can make?

Why do i keep seing lesbian women on my feed 😭

Like when it says queer that means lesbian right? I dont want tot be that guy hitting on lesbians

I am getting a lot of matches on hinge but idk how to text women what do I do

I went on a couple dates with a girl I met on Hinge and things seemed to be going really well. We had good chemistry, talked on the phone and FaceTimed between dates, and she seemed genuinely interested.

On our second date I brought her a small bouquet of flowers. Nothing crazy or expensive, I just thought it was a cute gesture.

She seemed to really like them. She even sent me a picture of the flowers afterward with 🥹🥹 and when I asked if I embarrassed her with the flowers she said no and that she loved them.

Not long after that though her communication suddenly changed and she stopped responding. I know there could be a million reasons for that and I’m not saying the flowers are necessarily the reason.

It just got me wondering, for the women here, would getting a small bouquet on a second date be sweet or would you feel like the guy was coming on too strong?

Curious if anyone has actually experienced something similar.