I (31F) have never been lonelier in my life. My husband (26M) is at work literally all the time. Am Iam i asking for too much? Am I not being supportive enough?
Just to mention, we both work. I'm a (31F) teacher, and my husband is a (26M) diesel mechanic. At my husband's previous job, he would work Monday-Sunday from 8 a.m.-8 p.m. (but most of the time he'd get off at 11 p.m.). I rarely saw him, and we would have arguments about him not being present enough or not being able to make time for his family (me and our 1-year-old son).
I would attend family gatherings, birthdays, weddings, etc. by myself with my child. It made me sad every time to see how others were enjoying the moment while I would sit by myself with my child in my lap, just looking around and feeling out of place. I hated that I was experiencing all these events by myself. I stopped attending these sorts of things when invited.
Fast forward to now, my husband recently got a new job that allows him to spend more time with his family (I was so excited). His schedule now is from 8 a.m.-6:30 p.m. M-F and Saturday 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Today would have been the first Saturday he could have spent with his family after work, yet he got home at 11:45 p.m. (with a Mother's Day gift in hand, which I was thankful for. It was really sweet), but I was also confused.
He got in the shower, and when he got out and got ready for bed, I asked why he was getting home so late if his work was supposed to end at 4 p.m. He mentioned that his job indeed ended at 4 p.m., but he is still working at his old job, just now part-time because he doesn't want to lose his connections and the opportunities that the job offers because it will help us in the future. But he's not thinking of the things he is missing out on right now.
I feel like me and my son are being pushed aside. I don't know how to feel. I feel stuck. I got married because I wanted to share a life and build a family with someone. Make all sorts of memories together. But I can't do that with someone who is not present. I'm literally doing everything on my own. He gets home when I'm asleep, I wake up and go to work while he is asleep. I'm still having dinner alone, watching movies alone, caring for my child alone.
How do I make it clear that I can no longer do this? I need him present today, not in a few years. I am literally crying because I don't know what to do, or what to think. Am I asking for too much?