u/Akuryusu

My girlfriend and I are both 19 (turning 20 this year) and we’re trying to get our lives started. We live in a house in Bulgaria that she inherited but our big dream is to move to Frankfurt, Germany (or the surrounding area for cheaper rent). We want to work there, learn german and eventually enroll in university. A friend of hers moved there last year and we could share rent with her until we step on our own feet. But right now we’re stuck. We’ve been unemployed for five months because we always thought we are just right at the finish line and we are about to sell and move but issues kept arising. We've been just barely scraping by on my gf's €500 pension and some help from my parents.

We listed the house for €110,000. It's in a really great spot near the park, the center and supermarket but it's pretty old and needs a ton of work (like the roof and walls). About 5 months ago we finally got a buyer. But it's been a lot of back and forth with our documents, other issues and his bank. They only valued the house at €103k, so the absolute most he can scrape together with his €10k cash and an €82k mortgage is €92k. And we aren't even 100% sure his bank will actually approve him for that mortgage in the end. We're just devastated that we wasted half a year waiting around in limbo doing nothing for our futures. Still, €92k is a lot of money and would be enough for us to start our lives in Germany, so we were thinking of just accepting it.

But then there's her mom (50). She has a diagnosed mixed mental disorder and dealing with her is mentally exhausting. She is very emotional, dramatic and extremely irresponsible with money. She wasn't even really in my gf's life until about 5 years ago when her father passed and my gf moved to live with her. She came from Germany 3 months ago saying she was going to "help" us fix up the house to sell and took out a €3,500 credit loan. That money was supposed to be for cosmetic house repairs and my gf's private school tuition (which we still owe almost €10k on) but her mom just blew like 60% of it on random stuff for herself. The house actually looks worse now with two rooms left completely unfinished. On top of that a month later she found a man and is now living with him instead of sleeping in our room.

Because of her bad spending we are the ones paying her monthly loan installments out of that tiny €500 pension because "we used it too". We even had to pull €1,000 out of a bulk pension my gf got for studying to pay for her mom's sister's funeral a few months ago. Her mom is super prideful and talks about how she "built her daughter into what she is" but she's always depended on men and hasn't really achieved anything herself. Now she is demanding a cut of the house money because she "took a part". She says it would be insulting if we didn't help her and wanted us to buy an apartment in our names here in Bulgaria "as a safety net and because property doesn't devalue" so she can live in it. She literally told us we are GETTING her an expensive cosmetic surgery with the money too.

When we told her about the €92k offer and that we might just take it to finally escape she just snapped. She can't have a normal disagreement, everything turns into screaming. She got super dramatic and told my gf that if we take this deal she’s cutting her out of her life entirely. Then she threatened to take back or destroy everything she’s ever bought her. My gf has a €2k macbook for her studies that her mom bought 6 months ago, and we are worried she's going to take it. Her mom has a key to our house and already comes over unannounced and unwanted just to clean and barge in. We’re scared she’s going to just walk in and steal the laptop or the house documents while we are out.

Should we just take the €92k offer (if the bank even approves him) to get out of here? How do we protect ourselves and our things from her mom? If anyone has been in a situation like this, what would you do?

TL;DR: GF (19F) and I (19M) want to sell her inherited house to move to Germany. We got a €92k offer after 5 months of waiting. GF's toxic, financially irresponsible mother is demanding a cut of the money. She is threatening to cut contact and steal our belongings (including a €2k laptop and house documents) if we take the offer. She has a key. What is our next move?