u/Alafaliliantrix

Show me where it hurts

In your chest,

Your throat,

Your eyes,

Your head,

Your hands,

Now open those palms,

And let me envelope them with mine,

Let me hold you close,

And whisper what you deserve,

"You deserve love,

You deserve attention,

You deserve reassurance,

You deserve support,

You deserve a face that'll look at you,

Rather than a back that glares,

You deserve so much more,

Than what anyone could ever give you."

I know those round, brown eyes won't believe me though.

All I can do,

Is watch in grief,

As they keep those beliefs.

Held dearly close,

To a chest too often observed,

To a heart too often neglected,

To a soul already broken down.

For years,

Nothing got done,

Nothing progressed,

Instead everything festered and grew,

Grew too big for your hands,

Too big for your table,

Too big for your closet

For years,

I couldn't do anything to help you,

But let me help you now.

For years,

Outstretched palms ignored,

Batted away,

Outright refused,

Just so you can "be independent"

So you won't have to rely on anyone

So you won't have to be a "burden".

And now here I am, palm outstretched,

And it doesn't matter how much you try to refuse it,

It'll always be there,

Never wavering,

Never pulling away,

Never giving up.

So please,

Let me show you,

Exactly what you deserve.

Burning away, I stare

In grief, in silence

In contempt, in frustration

In a hole so hollow yet full

Stuck in an all too familiar frozen state

A cheap shovel now burned

A hole eaten away by constant use

Not for what it expected

But for what it was given

Now unable to shovel away

At the snow, dirt, and clay

Thrown to the side

By a god so hate driven

He'll ask you 7 times

7 times you say no

Again and again he'll ask

And pressure

And guilt

And he'll remember what comes after

But never those 7 no's.

You are safe here

You control everything within your home

You own everything within these walls

That bed is yours

That couch is yours

That table is yours

Everything in the cabinets

In the closets

The drawers

All belong to you

Everything here is untainted

Untouched

By unwanted hands

Unseen

By unwanted eyes

Unknown

By unwanted minds

Expirations used up and thrown away

And replaced with one a-new

An untouched device

An untouched womb

You are in control here

You are safe here

And you always will be

Just two little guys from broken homes

Connecting with each other in hopes of a home of our own

Something we can build

Something we can invest in

Young love is scary

I want it to last

But the chances of it are low

But with you, I'm sure we can keep going

I'm sure we can go to the mountains together,

Camp in forests

Meet each other's families

Hold each other's hands

And be vulnerable under the safety of our sheets

The caress of your hand

The warmth of your body

The steadiness of your breath

The beat of your heart

Compliments mine so well

How realistic and pragmatic we are

Honestly makes it easier to work towards that future with you

Everything we are for each other

Comes out of a fundamental want

I want to see you relaxed

I want to see you smile

I want to see you happy

I want to see you by my side

Young love is scary

I hope ours doesn't subside.

It's embarrassing being mad at the person who you loved so much that the pain hurts 100x more than it would if it were someone else

It's embarrassing finally getting through the dam of hurt and resentment

It's embarrassing staring at the you that couldn't move on to the next step

It's embarrassing looking at the you now who's finally able to feel their feelings

The feelings of love

Feelings hurt

Those self deprecating feelings

"How could you do that"

"They're a human being. why can't you be more empathetic"

"You hurt someone you loved so much"

"They're gonna have to live with this"

Well so do I.

But these feelings of self hatred and despair

It just feels so stupid

Stop feeling so bad you stupid wiltering flower.

Or keep feeling bad, maybe you'll feel a fraction of what they felt.