u/Alarmed_Collar_471

Why did i choose someone that disrespected me on every level? I should have chose you.

Why didnt i put my full effort and time into you? Why was i so hesitant? We used to live so close but now im on the otherside of the country.

Everything was so complicated when it didnt need to be that way.

14 Years of being eachothers twin flame, the playlists we made for eachother, the nights talking over the phone feeling like the only two people on earth, the inside jokes (like that stupid lizard meme?). I know i made some mistakes, i know i tried to not let our connection "hold me down" but fuck. I miss you. You really are the love of my life, not just this life but every other one aswell, past or present. The connection we have is unmatched, even when i was with my ex i was still thinking of you, still wondering how you and your daughter are doing, hoping that your happy with life, i know you tried meeting some people, i think you even had a bf or two and its a weird thing to admit but i hope they made you happy, i dont know if your single or not atm but it never really mattered to us, we could still keep it platonic when we had partners but i think we both knew our souls were always connected. I'm sorry i wasnt always stable or my best self, im sorry i picked others over you when all i truly wanted was you, but it was never the "right time". I miss you, you were my best friend and the only one who truly understood me, the one who just got it.

You blocked me when i reached out after my break up and honestly? i understand, id block me aswell. Wether i can be in your life one day or not is irrelevant because from the bottom of my heart i just want to see you happy, ive never really and truly wanted that for anyone unless it was with me but with you its different. Do i wish i could be with you in this life? meet your family and your daughter properly and actually show you how much i love you? yes, ofc i want that. Do you want that? No probably not, even if at one point you did.

Ive left out ALOT, this was never something black and white, we both fucked up one way or another over the years, but your always in my head and my heart, ill always keep it 100 and respect your choice to step away, i wont chase but ill be here if you ever really want to talk it through, i hope you will atleast hear me out one day.

I know you wont read this O but if by some miracle you do, just know i'll always love you, if we cant be together in this life the universe will put us together one day in the next, ive been sure of that since we were dumb kids, i still remember how we were back then :,) i miss you, one of the biggest regrets in my life is never physically showing you how much love i had for you. But yk what? atleast i told you i loved you, you said you loved me too, i still remember where i was when i said it because i was scared you would just want to keep things platonic (something ive never feared in my life). To the love of my life, im sorry we couldnt just make it work, ill be here for you always. - C <3