One of the many struggles of pregnancy.
I do not know what to do and have exhausted all resources so I’ve now just decided to either 1. Vent here or 2. Seek out advice from those that may have been through the same thing. Apologies for the long story.
This is going to sound crazy but I guess everyone has their own story that could be considered crazy (or crazier) so I will await my judgement.
I started a relationship with a genuinely really great man at my old job. I love him, so much. I’m actually blessed to have him. The issue was when we began our relationship it was completely undercover. He is technically a supervisor, while not my supervisor, a great leader of several other employees. He has been working there for nearly 20 years, I had only been working there for two and a half. Rumors began, my supervisors became suspicious and told me that if there was a relationship I would be terminated (although side note there were several “conflict of interest” related employees working there as well). His job was never threatened presumably due to the tenure of working there. I continued to try to hide it and no one caught on however I believed my only option at the time was to stop seeing him which may have been the better decision at the time but only God knows why I decidedly continued the relationship and leave working for the company on my own doing. So I did. I loved working there. I made great money, the company was very happy with me and I was so proud of what I was doing for the company.
Little did I know, when I quit, I was already 3 weeks pregnant, when I do the calculations of when I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks. I have nothing against abortion, I could never have one myself. I already have one son (not with the same man) and I love him so much, beyond belief. Of course I got with the other party and we discussed but mutually agreed to have the baby and continue as a family.
Alas, I quit without a plan, though, I had a job lined up through the government and where I live it takes several months to get within the bureaucracy. I had the job, at the last minute, after waiting about 4 months, I was denied from the job (believed to be because of the pregnancy) but I was never given a formal explanation. Since I was denied from that job, I have applied to several, I mean every kind of job that you could think of though we’re talking at this point 24+ weeks pregnant: Private sectors, other government departments/agencies, etc. I have taken several interviews that have gone very very well, but in each interview I stupidly have relayed that I am pregnant, which now I realize is NOT a good decision to self admit prior to receiving a formal job offer.
I am now 29 weeks pregnant, jobless and starting to get a bit desperate or perhaps it’s depressed. My partner takes care of me and covers the cost of living expenses however I feel just awful because he also has other children himself he has to fiscally support and I don’t even have the baby of his born yet he’s paying for the cost of living for my son and I to be here which is rent, water and electricity. I manage to cover groceries, I furnished the home that we live in and take care of everything in the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.. I want to contribute, he’s never asked but I’m worried that it’s coming, I have so many bills stacking up at this point, I’ve absolutely drained my savings, I still have so much left to pay and I don’t know how I’m supposed to find a job that would hire me without feeling some type of way about me if I tell them I’m pregnant once I get hired and I’m like 30 some odd weeks pregnant. Luckily, I don’t show much that I am pregnant but it will come. Has anyone else mustered out of a position like this? Should I feel like a horrible person for not being able to contribute more than minimally? What kind of jobs or passive income should I be even looking for? I feel very stupid about all of my poor decisions but I just remind myself that no amount of worry will change what has been done. I should add, I have discussed my difficulties with employment with my partner however I am paranoid that it is eventually going to turn into a nightmare. I also just don’t understand how when pregnancy is both federally and mostly state protected from discrimination can so many employers just turn their noses up so easily.