u/AlertStatistician113

Hi everyone!

We tried to start daycare recently with our 5.5 month old, and it was a fail. The ladies were so nice, but at a 1:5 ratio, he was left crying under the playmat too often, wasn’t eating, and was just generally so exhausted and lethargic it was heartbreaking. The other babies there were constantly crying and no one could get to them to help soothe them. They could barely get through bottles/diapers, let alone activities. Everything was so rushed, and you could tell the teachers were working so hard. They themselves told me they had no choice and were just doing their best. As a nurse, I do have an understanding of too many patients to one caregiver myself. This is considered one of the best daycares in the area. Unfortunately there are no daycares with lower ratios, so we pulled him out to be with a nanny until he’s older. I feel like infants need more responsive caregiving than what daycare can provide in our area unfortunately. That got me thinking, at what age do you personally feel daycare seems to not have such negative effects on young children? There is just no way being left alone to cry for long lengths of time every day is good for his development, and it would be a crime to pretend it is. It hurts my heart that so many have no choice, and I feel like systemically, this is a failure for both the staff and babies.

I’m wondering for how long the nanny may be a better option for him. I’m just really curious to see when you think kiddos truly thrive in daycare vs at home with a nanny.

I did have the opportunity to spend a few hours in the classroom when taking him to meet the teachers mid-day, so I do feel like I got a very good idea of what actually goes on there unfortunately. I know they are doing their best.

We are looking for some suggestions on where to stay in Aruba with an infant or any tips/suggestions! Baby boy will be around 8-9 months when we go. We’re aiming for a pretty relaxed vacation and one of more ease. Should we be looking near Eagle or Palm Beach? We’re hoping for an easy way to the beach and pool, availability of umbrellas/beach chairs, moderate cost, and more of a relaxed vibe. It seems Palm Beach might have easier beach access from the hotels, but Eagle Beach may have less of a crowded atmosphere and less stimulating, but I could be wrong on that. We are looking to go in October/November. Thanks for any hotel or area suggestions or any advice you’d have to offer!

I booked a one night trip away from my baby to go to a dear friend’s wedding back when my baby was first born, and I had no perspective on what he’d be like now. He’ll be 4 months this week when I am supposed to go. I’d be leaving early Saturday morning and return noon Sunday- so I’d be away from him for 32 hrs. I am so so torn on what to do. One the one hand, I almost never get to see this friend and maybe it would be good to do something for myself. On the other hand, I worry baby will be so confused and sad. He’s exclusively breastfed- we do practice the bottle about 3 times a week, but I know nursing is his main source of comfort. We tried a trial run last night with frozen milk/bottles with dad and me pumping to keep up supply, and he was okay- he did go to bed or back to bed. But I’m still worried of course since I’d be inaccessible. He would be with both his dad who is very hands on and his grandma that has been watching him during the day while I work. I know I’d have to do a ton of pumping while away, plus the risk of NYC germs, and I’d lose out on a plane ticket by canceling, but I can handle the money loss/pumping. I’m more worried about what is best for him or if I should go to support my friend. Of course I hate being away from him, but I especially worry about him wondering where his mama went :(. Any breastfeeding mamas have any thoughts on what you’d do?? I’m so so so torn on whether I should cancel or go.