u/Alexisgnab

I've been wondering a lot of things... going back to reality and starting my new life... it feels so weird unusual I just dont know what to do anymore, I feel lost and like a newborn baby having to learn everything from scratch makes sense because I literally had to learn how to walk from 0% now im better treatment done. I sometimes feel sad remembering everything, i have memories and even if I was at my worst even find myself to miss it, being taken care of, interacting and talking with the nurses when I was at my worst, they were the ones who saved me took tare of me and spent a lot of time in my life with them, is weird now to not be inside an hospital, reality is like being hit by a truck, i genuinely dont know what to do, how to study if I been out of it for so long, I cant even focus properly, I tend to forget about a lot of things, cry a lot and just suffer...

Any tips on what to do and how to actually accept it? I dont wanna go back to seeing people that well, judged me, criticized me when I wasnt even there in person and didnt fight with anyone... so weird I wish that type of people were gone, maybe I think of not interacting with people at all because of trauma, is really complicated and confusing.

YES, I go to the psychiatrist and I despise him, he dismisses my emotions and tells me the same thing

- "You have been through a lot of trauma, and struggles now is time to forget about them and your situation and pass page, your life doesn't depend on it"

Hello? I know but like... it has been like a year since it happened... how tf am I supposed to forget everything that happend in two or three years even of pain and suffering in a year? Are you insane? I hate him and want to change him im sick of him and people suppressing my emotions and feelings like is nothing.

Soon (In two months) is early to say it but... I survived the most life challenging surgery I had! When they removed my tumor and bones, god i remember before and after the surgery, so... I didnt even celebrate it properly since I didnt have a lot of money, now I have a bit more... I need some tips, cus im a very lonely man, i do want to do something big but dont know what, Any recommendations? I do want to spend it as the best day of my life and at my fullest,after being assolated for two years I want to be with people ;)

I remember i was a teenager and wanted money and gifts after waking up lol, didn't get it but at least im glad I survived!!

I really have no idea what to do, I like a lot of things I dont know if to ask for things or just keep it to myself or what to even do... if you have questions or suggestions go ahead!

Just wanted to share a bit of the history I went through, did it happen that suddenly everyone at first was deeply caring about you and then slowly forgot about you?

From my experience I was very young at that time , I was confused about what I had since the doctors told me a weird name and I didn't assume it wasn't anything that bad, i discovered it was cancer later, told my friends and family and all reacted pretty good except my friend group.

Which we had been years together and I dropped the bomb they didn't even believe me, they wanted to see MY MEDICAL REPORT and everything documented, which i obviously didn't do... time got worse, at first they cared then, they didnt. literally abandoned me without saying a word, i didnt even fight with them, talked shit about them nothing. They continued hurting me mentally and even creating rumors about me when I wasnt even there in person, everyone was talking about me, my sister figured it out herself.

they visited me like two times. So I had a lot of friends back then, but they all abandoned me and just forgot about me because as soon as I told them what I had, they assumed I was already dead. Which im not. Even my own family did that!

Im an inmigrant so i had a few family members here, they only used me to be pity and nothing else they didnt even care about me.

Worst feeling was being unable to move walk and go outside i spent like 2 years being in the hospital, no social interaction except doctors and nurses, no visitors was terrible i felt like I was going insane.

So... that was a bit of my history not all of it but the experience of abandonment, did you experience that loneliness abandonment and feeling very excluded? Tell me your experience if you want to.