Do I want a divorce?
My husband (24M) and I (23F) have been together almost 11 years and married 3. I have always told my partner if I ever found out about any sort of cheating or something of that nature I would leave immediately.
Well he recently started college (started late because he worked to support me while I was in college and now I’m doing it for him). After his first semester he decided he wanted a part-time job which I understood he has always liked working and feeling productive. His job is at a small airport with only 13 employees.
An important point to this story is there is only one female coworker around our ages he works with (22F). As time went on I got increasing anxious like my gut KNEW something was going on but every time I brought it up he said it was just anxiety and nothing was going on.
I first got wind of it when his brother was in town and said female coworker has 2 tickets to a concert she wasn’t using (she originally bought 4 but 2 of her friends bailed on her). It was a band my husband really liked and he doesn’t see his brother often as they live across the country so I told them to go.
After the concert I told him I had a feeling and asked about the concert. He said nothing happened and I thought there was more so I kept pushing. Eventually he admits they stood near said coworker and her friend the whole time. I said why and why wouldn’t you tell me that. I kept pushing he eventually admits he gave her and her friend a ride to their hotel after the concert.
I told him I wasn’t okay with that or him keeping that from me but moved on thought it was over.
Fast forward 3 months later (yesterday) and I have so much anxiety I can’t sleep without nightmare, can’t eat, constantly nauseous, etc and break down to him that i think I’m loosing it and if he can’t show some interest in me then I’m done. He gets upset says no don’t think like that we’re fine I’ll work harder.
Then today he comes home after taking the dog on a 2.5 hour walk and says he’s not sure he wants to do this anymore and he feels lost. I finally push again and he admits he has had a crush on her basically since he started at the airport and was just hoping it would go away (it didnt). Still after telling me this he says he’s doesn’t know if we’re the right match and he thinks we need time to figure things out. I have a full on mental breakdown like hyperventilating and such and leave the house because I needed space. I come back 30 minutes later sound that I want a divorce and he begs me to stay saying he wants me and we can work through this.
I try to talk through things more and he reveals he admitted such crush to his brother before that concert ever even happened and his brother told him he was an idiot and to stop. But he didn’t.
I finally told him to leave me alone and now I’m sitting here wondering: is this enough reason for a divorce? Do people ACTUALLY work through something like this and are able to reestablish trust?