u/AliciaMenesesMaples

I am about to embark on the journey of becoming my brother’s guardian.

If you are a guardian, I would love to know the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, what you didn’t expect that you wish you had prepared for, basically anything you’d like to share.

TIA ~ Alicia

When my TEDx talk was first uploaded on YouTube in 2011, several of the first comments were negative. I remember one person said something like, "I have never wanted to k*ll myself more than after watching Alicia's talk." I was devastated.

2 weeks later, a Dad who somehow found my email, excoriated me. He said, "How dare you accuse me of loving my other children less than my disabled child!" Um... I never said that? He even made his 2 non-high-needs daughters write blog posts about how much they loved their sister and what a terrible sister I must be to my brother. Those poor girls.

When I got on TikTok in 2023, I got hate-filled DMs. "Ableist" was floated around everywhere with my name attached to it. I'm not on TT anymore.

When I did a workshop for parents, an enraged father told me with his finger pointed in my face, "You are inventing excuses for my normal children not to help or love their sister. This idea of a 'glass child' is complete nonsense, just like the 'me too' movement." 😡 I have to admit, that one did make me furious.

When I started my podcast, I received criticism for being sensationalist and fearmongering, for being too hard on parents, for not being hard enough on parents, for taking advantage of people's trauma for my own gain. That one really gets to me. The I See Glass Children Podcast project is entirely self funded. I don't have a sponsor, I don't even have a donation button on the YouTube channel. But even if it was monetized, so what? Non-profits have paid positions right? The other criticism that shocked me was from a sibling support organization. My sense from that feedback was I clearly doing siblings a disservice with my podcast. 🤨 I thought we were all on the same team. Maybe not? Oh boy. Even posting that info here makes me a bit nervous, but it's true.

Can I just tell you, this podcast is difficult for me emotionally. I make myself completely vulnerable for the sake of the people who give me the gift of sharing their stories; I am not unaffected by the things they share. After one interview in particular, I fully admit that I walked out of my office, into my kitchen and downed 3 shots of vodka because I was so disturbed in my bones by what I just heard that Adult Glass Child (AGC) share. Also, before any single interview is posted online, I listen to it 3-5 times for edits/post-production. This is not easy as I am in the midst of my own healing. BUT it's a privilege! I'm honored by their/your trust. I'm BLESSED to be the conduit for their/your voices. 🙌

Then, someone was stalker-ish towards me: talked to a lot of people about me specifically, asked others about me, suggested to many people that I have a clearly anti-disability agenda and that I foment hatred and divisiveness in families.

Then, someone posing as a journalist, tried to rage-bait me into admitting that I am against people with disabilities and that I am responsible for the eugenics speak that was on this very sub many months ago. (Which the MODs did a FABULOUS job of eliminating BTW.) Like I'm responsible for everything everyone says online? Please. 🤦🏻‍♀️ And how can I admit to something that isn't true?...

I started this journey as a 40 something woman who thought "Maybe if I tell my story it will help people." And it has. And I'm damn proud of that.

And... this stuff hurts.

I want to be one of those people who can triumphantly declare, "What people think of me doesn't matter! People can't hurt my feelings!" But it's not true. I am a very sensitive person and these things hurt, pretty deeply.

Then... Combine all of the above with the fact that I have entered a new phase of difficulty in being an AGC - my 93 year old mother unexpectedly moved in with us and I am taking over guardianship of my brother. The latter does not bother me at all. I relish the opportunity to bring more help, new ideas and a better quality of life for my brother. The former, well, imagine having one of your parents being elderly, in need of constant attention, with a deteriorating mind coming to live with you. I don't even have to get into details with you because if you are an Adult Glass Child, I know you feel me. It's rough. Daily rough. Rarely easy. And incredibly triggering. Yes, there have been some positives, but I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that I am in daily dysregulation that I have to manage. Thank God for my husband. He is a saint!

I've also been a wee bit frightened. The trolls are watching everything I post, everywhere I post it. What do I do? Do I go anonymous online? No. That's not the answer. Do I change what I talk about to avoid criticism? That doesn't feel like the right thing to do either. I've been paralyzed. I confided in a friend that I've felt quite lost, not sure what my next steps are, or even what MY voice is anymore.

So this is why it was 4+ weeks before I posted a new podcast episode. It's also why I haven't been on social media. I've done 3 interviews on other podcasts and haven't posted anything anywhere. That's sooooo bad and inconsiderate of me y'all. 😞

So I've been sitting with all this.

Now I'm standing with all this.

I'm here to declare to anyone listening, I'm not going anywhere! 💪

I will continue to fight the battle to shed light on the needs of glass children around the world, because sadly, a battle it is. ⚔️ 🛡️ So be it. I'm here for it.

I will speak, write and post as much as my now limited time and energy allow me to. 🎙️ If you're up for it and want to help spread the word about glass children, follow me and share on the podcast and my socials (I'm aliciamenesesmaples on LI, FB and IG).

Also, I will eagerly soak up any encouragement you have to give.

Thank you.