Is it reasonable to put your relationship first?
Our child is soon 1,5 years old. My partner (dad) stated the other day that it's really rare and weird that we haven't had a babysitter and spent a single night at a restaurant or movie alone together yet as a couple since birth. We've spent countless nights up after bedtime watching movies and having one-on-one time, often interrupted by wakings, granted. We only really have my mom living nearby. She babysits maybe once a week but it's mostly during the day and mostly an hour or two because it's demanding and our child is very attached to me (mom) especially.
I said that if I knew our child was fine and felt completely safe, I would of course go out for a movie or a restaurant when my mother was watching her, but I would have a hard time being fully relaxed, which he says bothers him and makes him feel like I don't care enough about our relationship.
He said that he thinks it's about my control issues and that he wishes I put our relationship before our child at least once. These words astounded me. Is that a reasonable, fair need? To me that sounded completely wild and my desire to spend one-on-one time with him dropped significantly. Do y'all do this?