Attention Seeking w/ A Brain Tumor??
How would you handle a situation like this?
I have four friends and we’ve all been close since college, so about 9 years. One friend in the group lost her father 6 years ago to the same type of brain tumor that I was diagnosed with in 2024. We were at lunch, catching up and the topic turned to health. We’ve all had different health battles going on (one has fibro, another has RA and another is in early menopause) and our one friend asked how everyone was doing.
After everyone else went, I talked about my brain tumor treatment and the surgery scheduled for July. I’m pretty nervous, honestly. Anyway, they basically offered sympathy and said to keep them posted. Our one friend was quiet and I worried that talking about it might be upsetting because of the loss of her father.
After lunch, I texted her and just asked if she was okay and expressed that I feel weird discussing it because I don’t know if it brings up painful memories. I asked if she would prefer I leave her out any updates. She called me and said it’s not that talking about it bothers her but it bothers her that I seemed to be attention seeking and wanting to one up everyone. I told her it was insane to think this is news I want to deal with. I’ve only mentioned it twice before during MRIs and only if asked.
I told her something else must be going on with her to think that and that I would just leave her out of updates. I asked if she was okay and she said my concern was fake. It wasn’t. I loved her. After thinking about it, I decided not to continue the friendship and explained that I don’t want people around who think sharing my life, good or bad, is attention seeking. I wished her the best in life and hope that whatever is making her feel so negatively heels. I still love her but now doesn’t feel like a time to try to repair something that has become so toxic. It’s not the first time, but usually it’s if I am sharing something good that happened.
My friends felt it was an overkill and an abrupt end to a long friendship. How would you handle a situation like this?