This has been the worst year of my life and it's still only May :)
We are only 5 months into 2026 and ignoring everything else going on in the world. This has been the worst year of my (25M) life. xD
tldr; Lost my dad to a long fight with cancer in Feb, Then my gf of 9 years who I was living with and going to propose to slept with another man no less than 1 month after his funeral. Now my life is in shambles and I need to pickup the scraps.
Heads-up, long rant:
There are 3 things that have added to the sheer amount of emotional and mental whiplash I have experienced in the past 2 months alone which I want to focus on. I will try keep things in chronological order and not yap too long.
1st things first. While I was growing up, both my parents was diagnosed with cancer. My dad with prostate cancer and my mom with ovarian cancer. They both underwent a lot of surgery and long rounds of chemo. At least they both made a full recovery. In Feb of 2025, my dad almost choked and died one night during dinner. He had suddenly lost the ability to swallow. After an emergency rush to the ER we found a tumor that was pinching his throat shut. He could essentially only drink liquids. To keep a long story short, over the course of the past year the cancer spread from his throat, to his lungs, almost his heart, to his bones. He went through various rounds of Chemo and multiple different surgeries but every time things were looking better, we would get a call from the doctors. My parents are on the opposite side of the country. I Managed to get some time off of work for 2 weeks at the start of this year to go and see him in the hospital. Seeing the man who spent his whole life protecting our family fighting just to breath was heart shattering. And even then, he was forcing a smile and putting everyone else first. The last words I got to say to him, was that I would take things over from here. He doesn't need to worry about everyone anymore. A week after I got home from my leave, we got the call that he passed away. This mid way through Feb 2026.
The only thing that kept me sane and intact during that time was my gf. The funeral was hard. The words I told my dad rang through my head the whole time, I spent the day focusing on others. Bringing drinks and singing his praise, comforting my mom and my brother. I only realized how much I was bottling up when my gf brought it up with me the night after the funeral. I have never cried so much in my life.
The 2nd thing, was actually some positivity. During April, I got my annual review at my job and I was doing good. Really good. My increase was enough that me and my gf would actually start saving money and actually be able to focus on the future. And then just after that was my best friend's wedding. The situation with my father made me realize that this woman was my future and seeing my best friend's get married sparked something in me. We have a ring that was being passed down in the family and I was getting ready to pop the question. I was in discussions with a Jeweler to make some adjustments and I started plotting.
That brings me to the 3rd item, my (now ex) gf. This year was going to be our 9th anniversary. We had dated long distance for 7 years, but in 2023 I started my job and wanted to try living together. She had quite an abusive household, so I essentially stole her from her parents. We packed her bags and disappeared in the middle of the night. We started living together in December of 2023 and I was essentially carrying the bills for a few months while she was looking for a job which she finally landed in March 2024. Since then we had just been focusing on living. We had quite a few lease issues during 2024 which made it hard to fully settle, but finally found a good spot closer to her work in 2025. We were finally able to settle in, unfortunately it was around this time that the whole shit show in point number 1 started and my dad got sick.
I was so focused on work, and dealing with the active shit shows that was happening in my life that I didn't realize I was neglecting my relationship. Before I knew it, easily 8 months had past since either of us had done anything romantic for the other. We were essentially just roommates with benefits (as she put it). Problem was, that I was happy just having her in the house. Having that passive warmth was more than enough affection for me. Just as things started going well in work, and I started the discussion with the jeweler I noticed there was something up. She felt distant. When I brought it up, it was already too late. What was warmth and love had turned into resentment. After she raised the issue I tried re-igniting the spark for a week, but I could tell it wasn't doing anything. She suggested a break, just some distance to think things over and make the heart grow fonder. At this point I saw that it was either this or we just end it. So after much reluctance, I agreed.
I moved into an air bnb for a bit, I didn't mind her staying in the unit while we sort it out. Fast forward literally 4 days into the break she calls me and tells me that the LITTERAL DAY after I left, she spent the night at one of her colleagues places.
Now at this point, understand that I had just gone through emotional whiplash and hell for the past 2 months. So My next moment was not the most proud, but I was willing to work through it, given both of us go to individual therapy and couple counseling to work through the shit.
Now as fate would have it, she had a family trip that was planned months before hand to go see her grandfather, and it just so happened to fall 3 days after I learnt of this fuck up. Meaning I had 3 days to interact with her again before she essentially goes radio silent. Day 1 was fine, obviously she was very apologetic and guilty, so emotions were high and there was some promise for our future. Day 2 and 3 I could not get the image of this guy and her out of my head. So I will admit I was a bit crabby. By the time she went on this family trip, she was back at 'she needs to think about the future'. I spent the week getting ghosted and working on myself. Literally anything positive that would distract me. Gym, Running, Hiking, Friends. Only for her to drop me a text 2 weeks ago that she does not think we will work out. A near decade long relationship brought to a screeching halt, over text :)
Now I have to spend time and money cancelling leases, phone contracts, decoupling our lives all while keeping up my work quality. I have no idea what she is doing right now and it has been the most hellish experience of my life. For all I know she is with him right now (Which is a thought I would rather not have tbh).
The only positive to come out of this, is that I got to stress test the fuck out of my support system this month. My friends and family all immediately jumped at the chance to help me and offer me a place to stay while this shit sorts it self. They have all shown me nothing but support and love. The past 2 weeks without her have been eye opening, I spent the last decade of my life making every decision and movement around her. To make her happy. I don't know who "I" am anymore, I only ever knew an "Us". My friends have been a massive help on keeping me positive, so shout out to the boys. Also started therapy anyway, feel there is a lot of unresolved issues with me regardless.