Just shared myself with makeup to the world on tiktok with my music and received almost nothing but hate. I deleted it and idk what to do with myself. (24y/M)
Hey y'all. I also happen to be quitting weed too. I have never felt like more of a loser unfortunately lol. I started makeup while living in my car to soothe myself because I was so lonely and just kept ruminating. (yes this really happened for like 3 months in the co springs area). Don't worry I am not homeless now.
I wanted to feel important. I then saw it as an opportunity to be bold. To upload myself without a filter. To inspire. I hope I did to some people. But most of those videos were ran by rage about my childhood and not really intellect. But still involved my own music. And I really left that stuff up for months. It became a rage shitpost account honestly.
Some of it I don't regret. Some of it took balls my dude. Some of it was out there. We need more of that in this world. Really. But it started becoming psychotic recently. To the point that I was having delusions about power and trying to control the world through my music even though I had no listeners. I make it with passion. Trust me. So that's why I believe.
The truth is that some things are not your burden. If someone can do it? Great. If people can openly talk about something such as childhood abuse on tiktok, thats great. But it's now out there for the whole world to see. I'm glad nothing blew up. It stayed around like 50-1k views a tiktok.
I guess my question for this reddit is: As a straight 24 year old male experimenting with makeup... Where do I even go now? Sometimes its for myself. Sometimes not. I just need community really bad. I need people who accept me for who I am. I don't know where they are as a 24 year old and that makes me sad. I'm just not attracted to men. It's all love and thanks for reading.