Sometimes when I feel fem I feel it the way I assume cis girls feel it, but other times I feel it explicitly the way I assume a trans girl would experience femininity
I really dont know why my brain makes that distinction, obviously I know that all girls are girls and theres no reason why a trans girl would be a girl differently than a cis girl is a girl, I'm just always aware when my gender does a 360 on me like that
The distinction is usually that I'm more comfortable in it -- usually when I feel fem it feels slightly invalidating, I always get scared I'm never going to come out of it and it'll turn out I was actually cis all along, but when I feel fem in a trans way, it's more intense, as if I'm finally able to be percieved how I want to be percieved, like I've had to discover my feminity for myself. It has the same flavour as my masc genders do, just mirrored on the gender spectrum
Sorry if this makes no sense I fear it was just yap
Quick question, how do I differentiate being attracted to a character and wanting to BE a character. This has made me question my gender identity since childhood.
Do I want him, or do I want to be him??
Mostly for when someone asks my gender i typically go with either "it's like a super position" or "it's a conundrum of esoterica" but I could always use more.
Hey all
I just needed to post where others would understand. I finally cut my hair today! It was a last minute decision so I didnt have time to back out or think too hard on it and I'm so glad I did it!
Say you want to call yourself a clubber or something but you don't see yourself as qualified yet to actually enter the club so you just stand outside it
Kinda how I feel about me being gender fluid I don't know if I can call myself that when I haven't done anything to show it or something
AMAB. Due to medical issues I no longer produce enough testosterone and am taking T. I also wear a bra to offset side effects and weight from medical devices inserted above my breast tissue. The medical device is not related to my gender issues. I am having trouble finding a bra with small cups in my band size. I would appreciate some suggestions on where to look for a bra that would better fit me. I live in Colorado, USA.
I am really frustrated at the moment. I have been trying for years to grow my hair to waist length. Having very long hair is really important to be in terms of helping me be the woman I've always wanted to be. It is currently down to the ends of my shoulder blades, but it refuses to grow past that and has been stuck there for years. It's curly hair btw. Every time I ask a professional about my hair, they respond with dismissive things like "It's long enough" just because I'm a guy in everyday life. If I was a biological woman asking for help with this, I feel like people would actually help me. Does anyone else deal with this? I am very frustrated.
Asking this because I am. lol
I have been struggling to sleep lately and I got back to writing for fun along with joining Exército do Lula in order to get as many people to change the votes for the elections.
How have you been coping with this?
Doing anything similar to that?
i´ve been trying to understand myself for a very long time, and unfortunately, it was very difficult for me, because i was born in a small rural town and was raised by parents who, although lovingly, always made their opinions regarding people like us very clear.
It was only in my early 20s that I began exploring these ideas queer related ideas with a psychologist who helped and advised me to open up to my friends and trusted people. First, it was about my sexuality, and later I came out as trans to them, and honestly, it was a really good experience, I felt so light and welcomed. Being addressed by female terms felt right, and they were so kind to me, i am very lucky to have them in my life.
However, after some time, I stepped back (regarding the trans part) and asked them to go back to addressing me with male terms. I thought it was just a phase or something like that (at the time, I was going through some issues at university and in my personal life), so I moved on with life and tried to leave it all behind. But obviously, the questions "what caused this?" and "why did I step back?" always remained in my mind.
After a period of calmness, I returned allowed myself to return to those thoughts and to try out a few things (effeminate man, non-binary, bigender). Then I settled on genderfluid, it felt right, My desire to be seen as woman and to transition fluctuated a bit (though if I did thought about it 24 hours a day, I’d go crazy, haha), and I don't feel that much dysphoria regarding my body (well, with a few exceptions). So I carried on with life like that.
The problem is that femininity always felt right to me. It never felt strange to be addressed as "girl" "lady" or anything like tha, I was always satisfied with femininity and accepted neutrality, the problem was regarding masculinity, I never liked being called "handsome," "pretty boy," "young man," or "brother," and I forced myself to like my more masculine traits, such as my shoulders and chest, even when i "felt male", It never brought me peace.
Lately, I've been considering (I'm 26 now) and working through the possibility with a psychologist that I might truly be a trans woman and was just/still am very afraid. it's a frightening thing, It involves a lot of acceptance (your own, your family´s, your friends´, etc), besides my country (Brazil) is know to be very transphobic, you have to recognize that from now on, people will mistreat, discriminate against, or refuse to hire you as easily, without you ever having done anything to them, simply because you want to be who you are.
I already have autism and ADHD, and I didn't want to be seen as "the odd one out," which is why I stepped back. I am currently unemployed, still living with my mother, and having medical expenses. Liking or not now it´s not the time to think abou HT (though I have started transitioning in other ways: exercises, keeping my hair long, shaving, asking my psychologist to address me in the feminine, etc.). I know the "ideal moment" will never come, but I no longer want to be a slave to my fear. I don't want others dictating how I live my life. I want to be brave.
I was wondering how gender shifts happen differently to people, so I'm asking you all to share!
Does it happen seemingly out of nowhere or caused by something? Maybe cute new clothes you found or a new media you explore?
For example, most of mine seem to just happen and I only notice they did after they do, but for this moment I remember two specific shifts.
One time I got those glue-on black and neon green checkered nails cause they seemed fun and then upon putting them on my gender shifted to "alt girl/alt nonbinarygirl" type of situation.
And once, when watching Scott Pilgrim against the world movie, the shift happened before my eyes into a "cool tired older sister" sort of thing.
(Now as I'm writing it, I notice how I'm namimg my genders similarly to how I named Furby personalities as a kid... Lol. I should keep the genderfluid=furby equation I made in mind. It do be feeling like a Furby sometimes)
How to communicate to other people when my gender flip flops and my pronouns change with it, without making it as obvious as announcing my pronouns, or displaying it to everybody via pins, etc??
People who use their Discord status as a pronoun indicator or mood indicator are kind of genius. I just wish the same system existed on EVERY platform and a convenient counterpart existed for every day life.
I knew I wasn’t cisgender for a while, but thought I was just enby and recently realized I’m genderfluid. I like my birth name, it just isn’t really /my/ name. I was trying out some ones I like, and narrowed it down to 2. But I like both of them.
I know that some people switch names with their gender, and that the names don’t necessarily have to be similar. But I like both of my names interchangeably. Like people who use all/any pronouns. It’s basically just choose one, or whichever comes out first. It really doesn’t bother me. So, am I able/allowed to do that?
The names are Echo and Jay if that affects any decisions. They’re both pretty neutral in my opinion.
Hey guys!
I just wanted to come on here and ask you, if it was worth it for you to go on hormones?
My gender switches often, but I find myself more and more thinking about it and I wanted to know if you guys sometimes regret going on hrt - because that is honestly my biggest fear, that I will some day feel like my birth gender and regret changing my body.
Thank you and stay safe!!
Basically what the title says—AFAB, 26, living in Mississippi. I have an incredibly supportive community and family around me, my parents have always supported me 100%, but I know that this would be a lot for them. They’re not transphobic at all, but I know they have emotional attachment to the idea of me as their daughter, and as much as I logically know that I need to do what’s right for me and they ultimately want that too, the thought of upsetting them kills me. Idk how I’d be able to hide stuff like voice changes from them, my mom can clock details like when I’m getting sick in .05 seconds. My gf is incredible incredible incredible and nothing but supportive, but I’m just scared of what may change in my life if I do this. I’m also scared that I may start T, be so so happy with the results, and then have some Mississippi political bullshit snatch it all away. We don’t have any physical trans clinics here because of death threats, our highest state officials (governor, state senator, congress rep, etc) are all bigoted MAGA morons, and I don’t put anything at all past them. The state is already trying to pass a bill to make it so “gender ideology” can’t be discussed in classrooms, and the punishments for breaking this law would be insane—the school could straight up lose state funding.
But then the other day I was talking to one of my amazing transfem friends, and mentioned the idea, and with 0 hesitation she just went “Do it. Do it if it will make you happy.” And idk hearing it from a friend who’s actively doing HRT just hit something I didn’t know was there and I got super emotional and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
Anyway. Thanks everyone for reading, just needed to get this off my chest.