There are so many scary posts about coming out. I was terrified to do it. But I just came out to my super conservative parents, and it went amazing! We had a straightforward, mature discussion about acceptance and how they’re proud of me in general and for having the courage to tell them. They’re certainly misinformed and hold some transphobic beliefs, but they were open and respectful!

Just wanted to share for those who need it. The people who love you love you for who you are, and they see past the labels! Best of luck, my fellow (wait, no, formerly fellow) closeted friends!

Hey guys! This is my first post here. I just founded a subreddit dedicated to a SUPER niche LGBTQ+ community, the idea being to create a resource for them, because they kept popping up. Very few of the people who I encounter who identify with the term even know about it yet, which creates some problems.

I feel like I’m bringing in people one by one, but I also don’t want to pester other subreddits—I’ve posted on the topic enough. I know it’s early on, but I feel like I could be doing more. What would you recommend? Are there any tips for creating content that captures more attention? Thanks for any help!

The subreddit is r/mutogender.

Hey everyone! I'm u/Tough_Act7101, a founding moderator of r/mutogender.
This is our new home for all things related to mutogenders. We're excited to have you join us!

What to Post
This subreddit is mainly devoted to discussion. Ask for advice, ask respectful questions, or even share your experience!

Community Vibe
We're all about being friendly, constructive, and inclusive. Let's build a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting.

How to Get Started

1. Introduce yourself in the comments below.
2. Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.
3. If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.
4. Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply (seriously).

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/mutogender the coolest new subreddit on the block.

Refer to my previous post for context.

I've officially started r/mutogender! If you consider yourself mutogender, please introduce yourself there! It's not quite finished yet, but it's up and running lol.

I just hung out with a friend for the first time in a while since we’ve both now graduated, and we talked about gender for a while. They’re transmasc (he/they), but they said they feel nonbinary a lot and still feel feminine sometimes. I told them that they were describing genderfluidity to a t. I couldn’t tell how they felt about it, but they said that it would require introspection and they don’t wanna have a gender crisis. I kind of nerded out and showed them some microlabels for what they described, and I feel kind of pushy in retrospect.

I don’t wanna feel like I’m forcing them to change their identity, but I also think that having a label might help them be more comfortable in their gender. I help people with labels like this a lot online, but it’s different irl with someone I really care about. It’s not like they’re reaching out either, so I feel a little bad pursuing it, but I also feel like I might not have another chance to provide them with a label.

How would you guys feel in their situation? Am I wrong for wanting to help them in this way? Should I keep talking to them about it or not?

UPDATE: I apologized to them, and they said it was fine. I was probably overthinking it; plus, I phrased the post really badly, only emphasizing the things that made me worried. They said they have to do some self-reflection and not much else. Thanks for your guys’ help!

I’m genderfluid and have been noticing a lot of the same appearance-altering questions in our sub, so I started trying to compile trans makeup tutorials, vocal training vids, etc. to be able to quickly provide an array of resources for people asking those sorts of questions. Unfortunately, there’s so much gentrified, showy slop out there that isn’t very instructional, so I haven’t made much progress.

I made a post on the genderfluid sub. I got one comment, which was only so they’d remember to check out my links later.

I made a post on the mtf sub. Zero comments.

I made a post on the ftm sub. Zero comments.

I’m hoping someone ends up commenting later, but they have very low upvotes, and I think they simply view me as an outsider or a showman of some sort. I really do need resources, because I’ve been looking, but the algorithms make it really hard. I’m hesitant to go to broader trans subs because I know people like me tend to get hate there.

Are there any subs or other sites where I could make posts that might be acknowledged?

Also, if you have any recommendations regarding the content itself, please tell me! A single video helps, and a creator would be even better. Really just anything that helped you. I’m collecting the tips on Pinterest and YouTube!

I’ve been working on a Pinterest board that has tips for us (makeup, voice training, etc.), but I’ve been having trouble coming up with stuff. I just started a YouTube channel to compile tips in some playlists. If you guys have any resources that would be helpful on Pinterest or YouTube, please share them! If you have ones on other sites, I’d appreciate it if you could post them to one of those two so I can add them (don’t just steal content—link the creator!). Thanks for the help!

genderfluidity rocks! Pinterest board

genderfluidity rocks! YouTube channel

I've ended up discussing genderfluid representation a few times recently on this sub, and I realized we don't really have the cultural icons larger LGBTQ+ groups do, but we're actually doing pretty good, despite being one of the more niche identities until recently. I want to open this post for any genderfluid characters or people you know! Here's a short list of the ones that I've heard of:

• Loki (Marvel)
• David Bowie
• The Doctor (and the other Time Lords) (Doctor Who)
• Ashnikko
• Georgie (Sunflowers and Lavender)
• The NEW Bugs Bunny
• Alex Fierro (Magnus Chase)
• Crowley (Good Omens)
• Nimona (Genderfluid or agender? Both? Both. Both is good. Possible agenderfluid rep.)

I've only put ones here that multiple people have said (or that I know of, but others didn't). These ones are mostly pretty basic, and I want to hear about the more niche ones too! (If you don't have a mascot now, that's okay. I'd encourage you to find yourself one and bring it back to the rest of us!)

Sidenote: on one of the posts I was looking through, u/Intelligent_Mind_685 said that the Kool-Aid Man should be our mascot. Probably not genderfluid, but he is gendered fluid, so I welcome him!

Please read this. Even if you don’t have experience or advice, a comment that shows your support would really help me!

I’m going to college this fall, and my parents plan on visiting fairly frequently. I want to be openly genderfluid in college, and I want them to hear it from me rather than by accident. My current plan is to pack my stuff early and tell them about it a few days before I go so that they have enough time to cope during the chaos, but not enough time to try and stop me or do anything stupid.

My family is Christian. They’re very loving and generous, a little sheltering, but ultimately, they’d be a perfect family for a cis het kid. However, they tend to be very judgmental and make offensive jokes about homosexuals, h*rmaphrodites, other races, etc. My parents are usually better about that than the rest of my family, but not by much.

My dad is kind of misogynistic and has big gender standards, but he’s also kind of a rebel and can understand some liberal stuff (still makes fun of it and misgenders though, including with my femininity since I’m amab).

My mom is a people pleaser and accepts stuff like that for others, but never understands it. She’s really nice, but more aggressive than my dad when she gets angry.

Neither of them would hurt me in a stupid way, I don’t think. They both get a little confrontational, even a little physical, but they’re not violent or abusive or anything.

The big problem is that I already came out… like one and a half times. But they don’t believe that I’m queer.

The first time was when a guy asked me to a dance. I told them I wanted to go with him. He wasn’t the guy I wanted to go with, but I was not doing great mentally, so I said yes anyway. So when my mom reacted more poorly than I thought she would, I rambled a bit and implied I didn’t like him. The two of them spent the whole rest of the day talking to me, first together, then one on one, then together again, both of them crying.

The second time, they went through my phone and saw that I had texted my friends about thinking I’m a girl. They had the same exact reaction. Another load of questions that made the answers seem really obvious and religious doctrine and science says no and… you get the gist. I didn’t stand my ground those times, but I want to this time, as an adult.

Recently, they’ve asked some questions about my sexuality, noticed I shaved my legs, and my dad had a little breakdown about a guy checking me out (which I did not know happened) that he made my mom talk to me about, which was blamed on the fact that I chose to wear A SCARF. Apparently scarves are gay, guys.

I don’t know how to get through to them. I don’t even have to tell them I’m genderfluid right away unless they’re actually interested in understanding what I am. Currently my priorities are “I’m nonbinary/genderqueer” and “I’m bi.” I just want them to have some semblance of an understanding as to why I am the way I am. If you have any tips on how to introduce these ideas to them gently, or how to tell them I’m genderfluid later, I’d really appreciate it!

By the way, I love y’all. You’ve been such a good community to me and others I’ve seen. If you need to hear it right now, I’m talking to YOU: I love you! Thanks so much for reading. (And please comment. Like, literally anything.)

First off, I‘d like to put out there that the system a lot of us use for specifying our personal type of genderfluid is the Genderfluid Fragment Gender System—it can be a little tricky to find if you forget the name like I did.

I bring it up because I finally looked through it closely enough to find the one that applied to me—genderflir. I tend towards feminine genders, though I can feel all genders, including genderless and xenine ones.

This means I feel masculine pretty rarely (I’m amab). But when I do feel purely male, I find that there’s two pretty distinct types. Sometimes, I feel male like a normal guy. I just live my life the same way I did before my gender exploration. Other times, I feel like I’ve transitioned to male from my feminine home base. Like being in the male body gives me euphoria, and I’m much more content and expressive than the typical male self.

It feels wrong to call this transmasc while amab. Have any of you felt the same way? Is there a word for this? Thanks for reading, and for any insight!

So like… girl isn’t just pink, right? Boy isn’t just blue? I know that with a type of synesthesia (I don’t have it, as far as I know), some people relate concepts to colors, but in a general sense, do you color your genders differently from how they’re colored normally?

My colors:
Boyish me is sometimes blue, but usually indigo or purple, and rarely green.
Girly me is pink and white with a hint of yellow or orange, but it gets more yellow the more masculine I present.
Neutral me is green or yellow, sometimes grey* or shades of blue.
Bigender is very complex, but it’s blue-greens on the boyish side and sunset colors on the girly side, and confetti cake in the middle.
My xenogenders have their own colors, and the two I’ve named don’t really change colors much in comparison. Fluffgender is very yellow to me, and obsidiangender is pitch black with a tiny hint of another color (that varies).

*(yes, I say ‘color’ like ‘BBQ’ and ‘grey’ like ‘Yorkshire Tea’)

I’m feminine-leaning genderfluid, but I consider myself to experience most areas of the gender spectrum. Every once in a while, I’ll feel like my brain changed some settings on my gender soundboard (I describe my genderfluidity like sliders on a soundboard to the genderstatic) that I didn’t know were there.

This experience is very odd to me. What do you mean my gender is soft? Or cold? Or dark? It feels like something incompatible has been placed in my gender slot. It’s a very alien experience, and hard to describe to cis people while appearing sane.

So far, I’ve only discovered two xenogenders that I’ve repeatedly felt: fluffgender, which feels soft and cuddly, not necessarily that I want that or am in the mood, and a cold, sharp, dark one that I wish I could call abyssgender or voidgender if those weren’t taken, so I haven’t labeled it yet (it’s new).

Do you feel any distinct xenogenders? Please comment about your experiences and how you rationalize them!

WARNING: Triggering themes involving children, transphobia, and dysphoria.

Let me start by saying that this is a really scary thing for me to write. I told some people that I knew about my problems in high school, but I was careful never to say anything to family, because I think it would crush them or even hurt their relationships (I’ll get to that).

I am a queer adult now, but biologically male.

At seven years old, I moved to a bigger school district. I began to realize that I didn’t actually know how to make friends; I just already knew everyone in my small hometown through family. I felt lonely, and one of the only friends I was able to play with anywhere near frequently was a boy about my age that lived next door to my grandparents, which one of my parents lived with until they got a house together in the new district.

I don’t want to say too much here, because it is unspeakable, but essentially, this boy had a very mature hobby. He didn’t seem to know what it was outright, but I think he probably witnessed some things based on what he got me to do.

After a very close call, we stopped, but I had already begun experimenting at home. I began to pleasure myself from that point on, in the bath and at night. I also developed an addiction to watching YouTube at night once my parents got me a phone.

When I was finally educated in the matter, I giggled through the class at everyone being so stunned and serious, and almost immediately searched the new words I had learned. Thus, porn.

Being so young, I had no self control and no perception of what was normal. I now believe that I have ADHD and/or autism and I believe that plays a factor in both my continued fixation on pleasure and my gradual fall into more extreme kinks, and I think I can honestly say I’ve explored everything, to the point where I’ve cried as I finish on several occasions from the horrifying reality of what I was looking at. When I met the best friend of my life, who is trans, I was surprised because I thought that was a porn thing, not something people really do (I come in a very Christian family and am pretty sheltered). I’ve become so addicted that I have pleasured myself discreetly around others, like when sharing a hotel room or bed; I’ve learned how to do it while in the car on road trips, and I even did it in class once in fifth or sixth grade. Since my friend introduced me to chatbots, I’ve been addicted to those for it, and I feel very insecure about that data being out and the world and about my overuse of AI.

In sum, I don’t think I know how it feels to perceive reality without sex, because I’ve been exposed to it for all of my distinct memory. I’ve been trying to get away from porn, and I’ve managed to get it down to under times a day and even go completely without it some days, which is a lot better than the do-it-whenever-you-can-until-you-cry-because-you-physically-can’t-anymore that I was running on in middle school. One of my biggest issues right now is that I am no longer a part of the gender binary, and my dysphoria inhibits me from doing it at times, but not from trying, which usually leads to me feeling depressed and helpless, or worse, disgusted with myself for being queer in the first place.

Does anyone have advice on how to escape porn when it’s pretty much the one constant in their life? A few of my closest friends know, but I could never bring myself to tell them the extent, and since the original event happened when my grandparents were supposed to be watching me, I‘ve always felt like convincing my family that I actually have some kind of provable addiction with that evidence is out of the picture, for fear of ruining their relationship. I’m not yet independent enough to get professional help on my own, either.

If you’re here now, I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to read all of this even though it‘s uncomfortable. I hope putting this out into the world and seeing people’s reactions might really add some gravity to a situation that I’m almost numb to.

If you’re stuck on this site because you’re in a deep hole, or just in case you need to hear (well, read) it: I love you, and you matter so much.