r/PornAddiction

So as a bit of a basic summary ive been into more extreme types of fetish content (interracial, cuckold, humiliation, that sort of stuff) and recently ive found that finding myself purely interested in these fetishes arent optimal when it comes to wanting to find a relationship because realistically whatre the chances of me finding a girl who purely wants to do that stuff.

I was wondering if anyone has any advice for sort of pulling back to more normal types of porn, specifically im looking to find ways to watch less interracial porn because It plays a big part with all of my other more extreme fetishes. Im not someone who's just looking to go cold turkey on all porn I'm just looking to find a more healthier balance.

I am 21m with a gf of just about a year. I am insanely in love with her and I think she is incredibly beautiful. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a severe porn addiction for about 9 years (masturbating more than once a day). When we almost had sex for the first time my penis was completely limp. I then for the past year have been using gas station pills to make it so I can have sex with her, but I rarely finish. I can see how much it hurts her and I can’t keep hiding it from her. If I tell her she will leave me and it is not something I am open to. How do I combat this. I am still on my parents health insurance. They are very Christian and would not allow me to see a doctor or get any medication like Viagra. What is the best route I should take to recovery. I can’t keep hurting her like this. When I am able to get an erection from those pills, I barely BARELY finish.

Hi everyone! I made my first post a few days ago, and I’d like to use this group somewhat like a journal since I don’t really have anyone in real life to share this with. So, I decided to quit 11 days ago; I’ve relapsed four times since then, but I still consider it progress—especially when I think about how I used to do it every day. I welcome any constructive criticism, and I wish good luck to everyone else struggling with this—you aren't alone.

I haven't watched porn in over 17 days. I have suppressed my need to jerk off till now. But sex is a natural instinct. Brain tends to be horny. How do I jerk off without watching porn? Imagination? or some slutty story audio? or some still images?

I really can't put an end to this i can't do this shit anymore its annoying seeing me wide awake realising how disgusting and deranged i have become like genuinely it has gone work i had an addiction since the age of 12 and its one and off since but lately i can't even stop myself anymore i did it twice and when i was done i realised how gross i am... How girls my age are better students or at art or music something or the other and i am just average i used to be a A grade student and now I can even go up till B.. fuck.. I have ruined my life genuinely one time a girl (i like women as a girl) said that she wants to r word me and that genuinely mad em happy because thats how deranged i had become i am imagining grooming and sexual assault at this point... Just to feel something and after i am done being a sub i have realised my hypersexuality is gonna kill me mentally I am like so fucked up from the mind at this young age i have been groomed more than 3 times now and it doesn't stop women thing of me like that now.. I am too young to be thinking about cnc .... To young to be thinging about sexual desires...i sometimes feel like i should kms.

I am almost a year into my first relationship and whenever my gf is not there i masturbate once a day, i look forward to it in a weird way that i don't like and i do not find it respectful to my girlfriend. Need advice i don't like what porn does to my mind but i feel addicted to an extent.

Thanks very much

my husband has struggled with this since i met him, i’ve struggled with other addictions before so i know how to help him as far as that goes. i know he loves me and i understand it’s a problem he’s had since before he met me

i know addictions thrive on insecurity and so he will remain stuck as long as he keeps feeling bad about himself, and i know it’s something he wants to remove from his life but he’s struggling — and it’s embarrassing for him! he can’t talk to anyone about it

what can i do to support him?

it really hurts my feelings and makes me sad that he has this issue, but i know that i married him for who he is as a person and he is so much more than his addiction, so i need to help him 😕

I've been an addict since I was 12 and a friend of my older brother gave him a CD with "games" on it. Supposedly it did have games but we could never get it to work. I was persistent however and looked in every single folder of the CD for the answer to how to make them work. What I found was porn. A lot of it. And even though I broke that CD years ago, some of those pictures are still burned in my brain.

I had my ups and downs over the years, with the maximum I could keep clean being about 3 or 4 months at a time (but only once or twice). I kept it a secret from absolutely everyone, since I am a very devout Christian and I sincerely love God, His teachings and every blessing I've had. Unfortunately, I never put the effort in quitting that I should have.

After many years, I started a relationship with an incredible woman. Smart, beautiful and devout. She had her flaws, obviously, as everybody in the world does, but it was clear that she was the One. We got married and would've lived happily ever after.

My addiction didn't go away, however, and after some rough patches without intimacy, I fell into the same trap again. I entered a cycle of disgust, depression and masturbation to porn. She found out, eventually, because I confessed it to her, and even though she was distraught, she let it go with my promise to stop. And I was able to, for a while, but I failed again and re-entered the cycle.

A couple of days ago, we were about to be intimate, but she was very tired and asked me if I could wait until the following night. I said that it was fine and we went to sleep. I truly believed I could be strong for just that one more day, but I couldn't, and I did the worst thing I've ever done.

The next day I made her breakfast as usual and she basically ran out the door, as usual, for sleeping until it was kinda late. I stayed in to work (I've been working from home for a couple of months) and had the absolute roughest day. Everything seemed to be going wrong, I was feeling terribly and I took a break to scroll for a bit. I read a story about a guy who had an affair with his sister-in-law and it made my mind start wondering. I had read similar things before, but they disgusted me, but now it made me think of doing something terrible. I thought that we weren't going to be intimate that night or the next or the next either, I thought that I could do something terrible and just feel good for a couple of minutes. And then I did it... I looked up (completely regular) pictures of my wife's sister, downloaded a couple of them and started masturbating to them, but I couldn't go through with it and I felt awful and disgusting.

After that, I prayed, truly prayed for God to help me be free of these terrible thoughts and feelings. I put the phone aside and cried for the terrible thing I just did. I promised myself that was it, and it truly has been and it truly will be. I did something that's the lowest of the low and I am working, started therapy and the feelings have completely faded. I haven't felt even slightly tempted since.

However, I forgot to delete the pictures, and a couple of days later, my wife saw them. My phone was always available for her to check because she has trust issues (from previous partners) and I wanted her to know that I had never and would never cheat on her. But after she saw those pictures, her heart broke. She asked me about them and I confessed what I did. She's devastated and I am in agony for causing her so much pain. I love her. I've loved her more than anything for many years and I did something that she could very well never recover from. She says that we'll finish our lease, look for separate apartments and sign the divorce in December.

I feel terrible. I've never felt worse in my life. I hurt the person I promised to love, cherish and protect in the absolute worst way I could've done it. I have promised to change my life and I am in that process, but I don't know if she'll ever be able to trust me or anyone ever again. I wish I had never been born, so she could've been with someone that wouldn't hurt her.

I know that it'll take nothing short of a miracle for us to stay together as a happy marriage, but I believe in the one that can make that miracle happen. If you believe as well, please keep my wife, my marriage and myself in your prayers. I know God has seen my regret and my desire to never falter again, and has forgiven me, but erasing the hurt I've caused will take a long time.

And if someone is still struggling with this addiction please, just please take action now before it's too late, before you do something you'll regret for the rest of your life. Call a psychologist, call a friend, ask for help from someone who won't judge you and please stop. You can do it, we all can. Erase everything you have downloaded or paid for, block sites that tempt you, delete people that tempt you from social media or delete it completely. Don't even look at something SFW if you know it'll make you feel that need to go further. Learn from my mistakes and do something to be free...

I really need help and somewhere to keep myself accountable to. Something I can look forward to achieving at the end of each day.

I know it's spam for everyone else and I'm sorry but for 90 days I'm committing to posting on here to help get rid of my porn addiction

I have a beautiful life, I'm a 30M I need to get past this.

I wish all of you the best of luck as well x

So I (23M) have been clean for about 70 days, which is the longest I've gone without it. I feel more motivated to do things, I can actually sit through something without whipping out my phone, I have more confidence speaking with people, and overall I have no more brain fog. But with all this clarity, it made me think about how much this addiction had ruined my relationship.

I was in my first ever relationship a couple of months ago. We had known each other since elementary school and had been friends even during and after high school. I always had a thing for her but didn't know if she felt the same way, but as we got closer and closer we ended up texting, calling, and hanging out all the time. One thing led to another and we ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, which made me the happiest guy ever. I thought to myself, "I finally have a girlfriend, I won't be addicted to porn anymore!" But I realized that was far from the truth. The first time we ever did it, I couldn't even get it up and felt so embarrassed, but she was so understanding and kept saying I was just nervous. Deep down, though, I knew it was due to my addiction. Every subsequent time we tried, it would end up the same way, and as time passed she kept getting more annoyed. I remember looking at her and not feeling anything, because my mind was so accustomed to masturbating to and watching these porn stars with their unrealistic bodies. Looking back, I think to myself that I was such a horrible person. She would always think it was her fault and felt insecure about it, but I kept trying to reassure her that it wasn't her, that it was just me. One night, when we tried and she stopped, she asked if I had a porn addiction. I remember my heart sinking and getting so nervous when she asked me that. I remember lying to her, saying I didn't have one, but looking back now, she knew I was just bullshitting.

I remember that night I booked a therapist to talk about my problems, and it was great, but I didn't have the funds to keep going with the sessions, so I ended up relapsing again and again, feeling more and more disgusted with myself. I kept thinking, "I have such a beautiful and smart partner, why can't I quit for her?" I knew the consequences of my actions, yet I still did them. Whenever we did have sex and it was successful, I would always tell myself, "See, porn isn't the problem!" So I kept watching it, even though I knew it was destroying my sex life, because every time I watched it, I genuinely thought, "This is better than sex." After a while, we didn't work out, due to some glaring issues and several other underlying factors.

After that breakup, I continued watching porn over and over again, hoping it would numb the pain of the breakup, but it didn't. So one day I decided to get my shit together and start going to the gym, watching what I eat, running almost every day, getting 7–8 hours of sleep, and waking up early. I read a lot of posts from this subreddit and watched many videos about people going through the same addiction as me. And for some reason, it was like a light switch flipped in my brain, and I stopped feeling the urge to masturbate to porn or watch it at all.

But I think what I'm trying to say in this post is: why did it take getting ruined by this addiction for me to finally want to better my life? Why did this thing I couldn't stop for my girlfriend suddenly stop after she was gone? I just wish I had been able to change back then and still have her here. I wish I had told her the truth instead of keeping it a secret; maybe things would have gone differently if I hadn't lied. But I know I had to go through this pain to grow.

Thank you all for reading, and please let me know if anyone has had a similar experience.

Context- we’ve been together 15 years and we’ve just our first baby. (M32 & F32)
This kind of behaviour has been going on for years, it’s like a cycle. I get a funny feeling I check this phone (I know I shouldn’t) then I find nudes of other women. One time he had 100 nude photos, they were really bdsm. (He’s never shown an interest in this in 15 years) so after I find the nudes he says sorry and promises not to do it again.
The time above, was a few years ago and he didn’t do this for a long long while, but he’s doing it again.
I found photos while I was 9 months pregnant and then again after having our baby.

I’m struggling with this any advice please?
He also says he doesn’t have a porn addiction but I feel like he does ?

Hey there , male25 , I finally hit 7 days of no watching porn/ gooning . I feel really good , and a slight boost in energy, and confidence, but a big boost in happiness and looking forward to shit to do. I’m proud of myself, and to be real these 7 days felt like a month , probably because I was focusing on each day and it just started to pass overtime.

I'm on day 37. This is the longest I've gone in years. And for some reason I'm terrified. Like actually scared to keep going.

It feels messed up to even type that out. Who's scared of getting better? But it's true. When I think about actually being free from this I feel a weird anxiety. Like what will I even do with myself? Who will I be?

Porn has been this constant in my life for so long. It's been my crutch my escape my everything. And now that it's gone or almost gone I feel this huge void. Like a part of me is missing and I don't know how to fill it.

Is this normal? Has anyone else felt this? This weird fear of actually succeeding and breaking free? It's like I'm comfortable in the misery because it's familiar. And the unknown of being truly free is more intimidating than the known pain of addiction.

I want to break free I really do. But this feeling is holding me back. How do you push past this fear of the new you?

I realize my situation doesn’t exactly qualify as “porn addiction”, but my behavior is similar in that it is compulsive and tied to masturbation. Being a pay pig is my porn.

For context, >80% my spending has been in the last 4-5 months, but I was exposed to, and participated in, findom as a minor (16). I have easily spent over $30k usd in total. Never thought it would reach this point.

I have tried and failed to quit more times than I can even remember. This is very common, so there’s a constant push and a temptation to “relapse” in findom. I would estimate that I’ve sent money to around 150+ different women.

My most recent serious attempt to quit started 80 days ago, and my last relapse was 9 days ago. I’m attending a local SAA meeting this week to share my experience with and learn from others going through similar challenges.

I have had to dip into savings quite a bit to fund this addiction, and it’s left me pretty much entirely with regret. I want this post to show anyone else struggling with addictive behaviors that they’re not alone — everyone has issues.

I will do my best to answer any questions.

Way before our relationship i had completely replaced tiktok with reddit and would scroll for hours but we started dating and she believes porn is a form of cheating so i had to quit cold turkey. I was clean for months until i relapsed and i keep failing to quit again. I am worried she will find out and it will ruin our relationship so i feel the best thing would be telling her the truth and come out to her about my addiction, i need advice on potentially the best way to coming about this? Please

Edit - Thank you to everyone who commented and helped me! I came out to her about my problem and told her some solutions to help me stop. At first she was angry , especially after seeing some of the stuff i would watch , and then after some time she forgave me and said she would support me in helping stop my addiction and we will begin to regrow her trust in me. Im so thankful to the people here to helped me as i didnt expect to recieve any comments or views from this post. I love you all and i hope you all the best in battleing your addictions and for the people who have managed to stay sober im so proud of you all 🫶

I really want to quit but I can’t, I want my life back.
This is so fucking hard

I started watching porn when I was 13 years old and was introduced to it by some irresponsible adult family members of mine. Since that day up until 8 months ago my hunger for porn was insatiable I let down all the people I love in my life especially my life partner. I met the love of my life when I was 22 and she was 18 and it was literally love at first sight, something told me at the moment she was the one. We started living together when I was 24 and she was 20 and she found out about my addiction right away and I don’t want to get into much detail but I put her through so much trauma and suffering, I feel so disgusted with myself now that I put her through all that and I am ashamed now that I’m clean and my mind is healing I feel like a monster for putting her though all that. All this time I just needed to look for help and I am so stupid for not looking for it sooner because of this addiction I also did nothing with my life and I am now 33 but my new faith in Jesus is getting me through this difficult time and I am getting my emt certification and looking forward to start my firefighting academy at the beginning of next year. I just hope one day she can forgive me and trust me again and feel safe and not vulnerable around me but I know it will take time and I will have to show the real man I have become I was a child trapped in the body of a man for 33 years and I hope my testimony can inspire the rest that there is a way out, PLEASE SEEK HELP! There are so many support groups out there or join a church depending on your faith , but please don’t let this crippling addiction ruin your life forever.

Okay this might sound stupid but I swear some ads are designed to get you thinking about porn. Like I'll be browsing Reddit completely clean for days right. Then an ad for some dating app pops up. Or a clothing ad with models in bikinis. And boom it's like a switch flips in my head. All that progress feels like it's going down the drain just from an ad. It's so frustrating. Anyone else deal with this or am I just overthinking it

I’ve been struggling with porn for years now, and I feel like I’m stuck in this cycle where I’m constantly telling myself, “This is it, I’m done,” only to eventually fall back into it.

I’ve tried different apps, blockers, streaks, etc., and I’ve actually been able to put together some decent stretches without porn. But eventually I relapse and end up right back where I started. The scary part is realizing how quickly the years have passed while I’ve continued telling myself that this time I’m going to stop.

When I read about other people’s experiences with porn addiction, a lot of the effects sound very familiar: depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, and not being proactive socially or with women. I feel like I’ve become much more passive in that part of my life. Sad part is that I wasn’t always like this.

What frustrates me is that I’ve done pretty well in other areas of my life, but when it comes to dating and relationships, I feel behind the eight ball, and I genuinely think porn has played a role in that.

I’ve only ever dated women and that’s who I’m attracted to, but after watching so much porn for so long, normal stuff became dull and I started clicking into more extreme or different categories, including stuff that doesn’t even reflect what I’m interested in in real life. At this point, sometimes it doesn’t even feel like I’m watching because I’m genuinely turned on. It feels more like I’m searching for something shocking or different enough to keep the cycle going.

That’s probably the part that bothers me the most. It can almost feel like I’m deliberately looking for things that will make me feel worse afterward, feeding this cycle of porn → shame/anxiety → quitting → eventually going back to porn.

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I discovered something so horrible that I don't know who to talk to about it.

My partner of nearly 3 years, who I was planning on owning a home with in the very near future, cheated on me in a discord full of porn and anonymous users for the entire duration of our relationship and the most recent instance happened as early as Thursday (previously as early as 2 or 3 weeks ago)

I did not find out because he confessed to me, rather I found the information because I was trying to use his phone to get him help when he had too much to drink for the first time ever in his life and was very sick.

While he was sitting on the toilet looking like he was going to throw up, I tried to use his phone to contact a friend of ours in the hotel room we were in to ask for a barf bag for him just in case he couldnt make his throw up in the toilet.

My phone was in the hotel room but I was worried to leave him alone for fear of making our friend who has emetophobia (fear of vomit), so I used his phone to try and find his DM with our friend because Id forgotten his username.

Unfortunately for him, I scrolled too far and found something unsavory. He was exchanging porn with a **person** who was telling him they wanted to jerk him off and he reciprocated.

He would not often seek out this person, and did not know anything about them. But he has done things adjacent to this the entire time we have been together and I just found out only 2 days ago. He was never going to tell me in hopes he could just have both me and whoever these people were so he could masturbate.

I feel as though I have lost my mind, it just doesn't feel real.

I have asked him so many questions, but he can't seem to give me all the details every time I ask him about it because every time I ask the same question a few more times-- OOPS! Another detail comes out.

So far he has revealed far more evil things he has done that I could imagine. Including sexting over 60+ people, hundreds of DMs with mostly anonymous men from a porn server, joining discord calls with them, and now camming in our home we share.

He said he has done this because he wanted to masturbate and did not see these accounts as cheating at the time when they happened because he didn't know anything about them.

He never intended to meet these people, or know their names, location or anything. Most appeared to be sending porn back and forth which while weird, was mostly something I could learn to forgive.

But what I am struggling with the most is that he has erotic roleplayed/sexted with over 62 of these anonymous accounts, that he has sent pictures of his penis to them, that he has webcammed for them in a public server, and joined discord calls so he could get off harder. He would have DMs open while he did this as well.

The fact that these are REAL PEOPLE Is what is hurting me the most. Not that he was checking out porn every now and then.

He has since blocked (and I confirmed with my own eyes) that they are blocked, and I will be checking his phone randomly to verify it, but this has happened (especially the camming thing/joining calls) with other people as recent as THURSDAY.

He says he will regret this the rest of his life, and he sees now how severe this is. We both agree that he may have an erotic roleplay/porn addiction at this point because he hid it from me for so long.

He has promised to never do this ever again, and tell me I'm enough but this is just so much to process that I just can't believe this is real. I haven't slept much or even ate my h over the last few days.

I cannot imagine he will not have a relapse, and I do not know if I can forgive a relapse after he has harmed me hundreds of times behind my back.

He does seem genuinely remorseful but I am not sure if I will ever feel the same about him again.

I never snooped on his phone or went through his computer, I trusted him completely and now he has torn everything to shreds.

What do I even do? I emailed a couples therapist as well. I'm so hurt, I never thought I could experience pain like this.