"Tom Pearl" meme destroyed my [26M] 5-year long relationship with my wife [23F]
This is an embarrassing story, and I know how absurd it sounds, but I would like to preface by stating that I am a generally very impulsive person. I have been meaning to get tested and diagnosed for whatever it is I have for many years now but have never found the time.
Now that I've gotten out of the way, I'll start with my story. Recently, I (26M) have become particularly enamored with the memes about a man named Tom Pearl. This meme has become a vocal stim of mine. I'll constantly quote Tom Pearl's opening quote: "Hi, my name is Tom Pearl, and I'm gonna eat my diarrhea for 'ya." It drives my wife insane. She tells me that she's "really uncomfortable with it" and "doesn't want to hear about a man eating his own poop." I tried to explain to her why it was so funny but she nearly retched on the spot... she has a very sensitive stomach and can't exactly handle certain information like that. I thought I was doing her a favor by trying to toughen her up on that front. We've had multiple fights about the subject where I try to tell her that I'm most likely neurodivergent with a some autism and that all my friends agree but she just won't have it.
For some time though, I had been doing good about not quoting that junk. Our relationship had started to recover. We started going on dates again, going out to eat, actually laughing and having fun with each other. It was great. She did always seem a little quiet or nervous, but I'm pretty sure that's just because she's generally shy.
And that was when I got too comfortable. Just two nights ago, we were going to have sex - it was the first time she'd actually looked like she wasn't doing it begrudgingly in months. I was going to perform oral on her, and had her lay on the bed while I went to the foot of the bed and got into position. Just as I was about to start eating her out, I decided to say what I thought was a funny, or even sexy, quip: "Hi, my name is Tom Pearl, and I'm gonna eat this pussy for 'ya."
Immediately, she gagged at the mention of the meme. It shocked me because I didn't even say anything about the poop-eating part, it was just a stupid joke about eating her out, which is why I didn't expect her to take such a high level of offense to it. She stood up immediately, put on her clothes, and stormed out of the house without a word or doing so much as looking me in the eye. I tried to get her to stay, hell, I even tried to block her from the door, but it was all no use.
I haven't seen her since. I'd called her over and over and over but she's blocked my number now - admittedly I was a bit harsh in my voicemails, and I have a tendency to be threatening (it can be scary, but it's my love language. I know that sounds strange, but my impulsivity to have these outbursts only truly comes out if I feel comfortable enough around someone to where my subconscious opens up that chamber of my mind to release its feelings. It's a stupid tendency, I KNOW it is, but I cannot control myself as much as I wish I could).
All my friends say that she's just crazy, and I want to believe them because I have known them for years and all of them have been through many relationships themselves. All I want to know is how I go nicely about getting her to understand that I was joking.
TLDR: The meme "Tom Pearl" destroyed my relationship and I don't know how to make my wife understand my stupid impulsive sense of humor.