r/copypasta

👉👈

To be honest I... I freaked out at your message but I don't wanna lie to you and say that me coming online was a discord glitch so I'll just type everything I feel here

I think you're really cool and nice and funny and gorgeous so I get nervous talking to you I really like you aswell and I think I have for a while but as embarrassing as it is to admit this I probably have to tell you, Ive never really dated anyone like EVER both online and irl so I'm scared of doing anything wrong or not exceeding your expectations but I'm willing to try it out with you, I'm really sorry for making you think I'm uninterested that wasn't my intention at all like I said I get really nervous to talk to you let alone call because you're so cool and pretty. I had no idea you felt that way about me aswell I felt really caught off guard but I love you too 👉👈 ❤️

reddit.com
u/ProfessionalCamel675 — 10 hours ago
▲ 111 r/copypasta

I indexed 89,000 NSFW subreddits and accidentally discovered Reddit's hidden evolutionary tree

Dataset of All NSFW Subreddits Broken Down by Location & Category: https://nsfwdog.com

So I went down a weird rabbit hole recently. I went to index all 89,219 NSFW subreddits and figure out how they all connect to each other. What I found was kind of fascinating.

Reddit communities don't grow, they fracture.

You've probably noticed this yourself. A broad subreddit like r/ heels starts out fine. But once it hits maybe 50k subscribers, things get noisy. People start arguing about what belongs there. And then, almost inevitably, it splinters: r/ highheelsNSFW, r/ StockingsAndHighHeels, r/ TheyStayOn.

It's basically the moment a niche becomes distinct enough to need its own moderation rules, a new subreddit is born.

What struck me is that it's actually a really sophisticated classification system. Thousands of anonymous moderators over the past decade have essentially built a massive filing system for adult content. But because Reddit's UI doesn't officially support hierarchical tags or categories, this entire structure is invisible to most users.

But when you actually map out the NSFW sector, communities that seem random are actually positioned within a massive, invisible taxonomy.

The full dataset and categorization is available at https://nsfwdog.com if anyone wants to explore it. You can trace how broad categories branch into increasingly specific niches, and find micro-communities that Reddit's native search has essentially buried for years.

📌 Also, every SFW subreddit is available on https://sfwdog.com if you want the same discovery/search experience for non-NSFW Reddit communities too.

Curious if anyone else has noticed this kind of organic categorization happening in other SFW Reddit sectors, or if it's unique to NSFW communities because of how niche-driven that content is.

reddit.com
u/Super_Saiyan_Twink — 20 hours ago

What made you interested in this game?

I enjoy Roblox Porn and it's sort of a gateway into regular Roblox media for me post-2019 (around the time I stopped playing roblox)! This is just one particular game I happened to find interest in. Of course, my interest for Roblox Porn and this game do not overlap that much, I don't have any interest in porning this game or looking for porn of it because that'd be immoral. But I wouldn't think too much about it. I'm already giving you a lot of information about myself so I can get in. The Roblox Porn is just the most interesting thing about me that I'll permit you to know.

reddit.com
u/No-Setting7109 — 20 hours ago

1 Terminal Cancer Patient Becomes JI JEW The JewishAmerican Hero, Teams Up With Nuke Stywalker to Solo The Hormuz Blocker While Diddy & Epstein Hit The Griddy

not so whimsically bright

All em donuts you see in krispy kreme dont eat them i beated my sauce in em boi

and i always always eat all of grandmas food it even makes nikocado look at me and want to fuckl me like the good femboy i am :3 ~~~

Not So WHimsicically bright

Contents contain:

story one JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO

story two the masturdebtaor

story 3 nuke stywalker with I can solo her KILL THE HORMUZ STRAIT

JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO

'm a short man, had cancer in my teen years' and cancer/chemo stunted my growth, I fought hard, and after high school I was in remission. I thought life would be happy after being cancer freee, but I was wrong, as the years went on I struggled so much being a short guy, from getting rejected constantly, to being made fun of, to people not taking me seriously. Even body positive people shit on mens height. It was so painful, even more painful than the cancer to be honest. It's enough that I wish I never survived cancer, and it should have just took me out during my teens. I might have been cancer free but now society treats my height like cancer. I tried to be positive but it's just coping at this point. Now my cancer came back very aggressive, It's tearing my body and I'm mostly bed ridden, at best I only have a year to live and honestly I don't mind it anymore because the experience of being a short man is infinitely more painful than the cancer I had to deal with, now I can just finally rest and be free from the shackles of heightism.

tHen For some reason peter griffin appeared in my dreams and showed me in the future that the hanta virus would turn into the hentai virus due to soem bullshit and soemthing like that and told me to tell the public what truly happens and not a romanticized version of the frontier but i just wanted to be a badasss I then plunged a watermelon out of my throat baited the hood rappers to the kkk forest and gaine d 67 assists on cod and the n word pass

So

I'm sorry to say but my story isn't a story of hope or victory. The cancer spread too much and at this point it's untreatable, even doctors say there's nothing they can do. Since then I've lost a lot of weight, my body hurts all the time, I can't walk anymore, I have Diarrhea all day long and need help using the bathroom, it hurts to breathe and I faint constantly. My time is coming very soon. I've already came to terms with it and made peace with dying. Honestly I'm at a point where I'm just ready to pass over and finally rest for good. I'm tired mentally, emotionally, and physically. If there is something beyond than maybe my life will just be a bad dream. I just wanna thank you for trying to motivate me to keep fighting but at this point it's not physically possible, I'm just too sick and the cancer spread too much. I appreciate the kind words from everyone and thank you for sympathizing with my struggles and understanding.

So then i started as JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO and beat harry dresden the redditor who terrorized the city of rizzingham

After 15 shots of tequila and cinnamon roles it hit me that p diddy and epstin just appeared from the rizz warp arbies takeover and hit the griddy at mach 67777776999999999 and ratioed and diddled the neighbor from hello neighbor and all the aliens on the other side thats what aliens vs predators should be lol

Now in a uhm i donyt fucking know glaxy far far awaay

Some random goofy asss skbidid beta male kids were arguin about which is better x shot or nerf is it micheal jackson or jordan type ahh argument frfr now those two kids were epstien and diddy

they were arrested but released because this is america this is the crime system not the justice system niggas!!!!!

I AM JI JEW THE AMERICAJEWISH HERO OF THE REPUBLIC OF ADRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The goofy ahh sigma alpha male screamd vro screamed so hard that 10 drunken sailors hit the griddy causing a mechanical forklift to go inside a discord mods ass causing explosive diahreah to floood through the earth and then some random ass battleship just blew up an entire country at mach 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999996769420 frfr but the tung tung sahurrrrr did not allow that and summoned JI JEW THE AMERICAN hero he beat up the discord mod he deported the aliens

after 15 shots of tequila and cinnamon roles it hit bro that p diddy and epstin just appeared from the rizz warp arbies takeover and hit the griddy at mach 67777776999999999 and ratioed and diddled the neighbor from hello neighbor and all the aliens on the other side thats what aliens vs predators should be lol

then diddy slipped on his baby oil and made it to china where he enslaved children to make yogurt starting a yogurt cumpany but they ran out of fleshlights so they had to get brutally fucking diddled by the toilets and diddling trees in the didldling room but osama playing flappy bird reskinned with 9/11 towers killed like 3208934890238942380948902980239082380942890489024890234809432890 percent of the chinese navy and all the chinese food caused constipation so bad that even epstien didnt wanna diddly the babies no more

and then after even more underage drinking and masterbating in the basement it occured to bro that the drugs were to much so he simply walked around it and turned a strip of floor bacon intoa homeade c4 tucked in his ass and exploded a stadium fille diwth innocent civvilians but this killed the very veyr very very very very

very very

very very

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very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

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very very

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very very

very very

very very

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scary man called adolf the forbidden painter who we though who hid in his bunker but in reality bro just wanted to paint ishowspeed mogging ronaldo or ronaldo impregnating shrek or shrek having an orgy with tom cruise in the scientology speedruns bro was really justa peaceful man and that is why we shall reember JI jew the jewish american hero with this song

he may bomb children

but he may charge racism

he grabs coins like a jew

but never lets children aflew

he hits the griddy in a hinder

but he so strong women not even on tinder

that is why with a thrifty knife

he ended no lifes

and that is why with this song

we shall get submissive with his mega dong

JI JEW THE JEWISH AMERiCAN HEROOO!!!!!!!!

Now now i know im a bit late on this but

🙏💦 R.I.P. to Charlie KIRK 🍆💔, the gun-toting 🔫 DADDY of the right 🍑😏, who got 👊💥 shot down 🔫 at Utah Valley University 📚🏫. They said he was STRAIGHT OUTTA 🔫📍the MAGA 🦅 movement 😤💪, but now he’s resting in 🕊️💩 PISS! 🚽💦 Holy SHIT, they call that a political ERECTION 👏🎉! Always flexing with GUNS 🔫💪 and red caps 🎩😒, but couldn’t dodge 🏃‍♂️💨 a bullet 💥🍆 like a true BEAST 💪🍑. Now he’s gonna NEED deep DICKS 🙈🍆 in heaven ☁️👼 to validate his existence 😂💦! Spread the WORD 🗣️ and signal those HOES 📞👠 that Charlie is STILLLLL the G.O.A.T. of getting SHOT DOWN 🎯💦

RIP THE MASTURDEBATOR MAY HE RESPECT MY AUTHORITAHHHHH!!!!!

In a piss ocean far far away

EPISODE IV
SKIBIDI HOPE

It is a period of total Sigma war. W Rizz ships striking from a hidden skibidi base have just won their first W against the cringe Unnamed Empire.

During the gigachad battles, W fanum tax spies successfully stole the zip file to the Empire's ultimate cringe trap: the HORMUZ BLOCKER , a metal orb with enough Lratio-energy to delete an entire planet.

Now being chased by the Empire's most loppy agents, Sigma-Princess mmmmm yes is dashing back to her crib on her starship, holding the only leaked files that can save her squad and bring W-tier freedom to the entire metaverse….

nuke stywalker an absolute gigachud who got mogged by the ragebait virus and hentai virus but somehow survived because pure rizz aloowed bro to gain a 6 or 7th eye of pure rizz in ohio and his father told by old crazy man was said to be with tung tung now in heaven may he rest in heavene then a clanker gains sentience and leads nuke stywalker to some crazy old guy they hijack the 2nd astral plane hit the building at mach 932949032490889040928429423094823095320948209482094283409 then i can solo her and harry potter i meant harry deporter the orange man got yeeted and say

"What is rizz bro"

"Throughout most of human history, we would just spend it all on a big feast. We want everyone to share in the happiness. And that's what made us happy... Back then, the concept of the individual did not exist."

"There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny."

"It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense"

crazy old man reveals his ahh is tootle8b8 some goofy ahh chud who mogged people in the epstien island frfr my ass skibidi didnt liek this part so instead here is a mini story about instagram emems frfr what do you call a former man a transformer hahahaha get it???? You do dont you right???? Im a tuff sigma edgy alpha male who has fanum tax and max brainrots on the sigma alpha game called steal a brainrot go play it now with our promo code go fuck yourselkf ggranny you got scammed lol lmao lmfao i cant even hold it XDDD rawr

edit: we rqn out of budget and one of the writers being cringe asf now the cia wants to capture us so they can sacrifice us to the crabcat and diddle us and run spookys cary alien experiments ts is worse than the job application bruh

The world is ending, and it will end very soon. There is nothing we can do to stop it. There is hope though... we must remember that history is determined by those who are willing to fight and die for what they believe in

tootle8b8 fights unnamed general but loses because the rizz warp and bro the force cheate3d on his ass

nuke the juke stywalker then just gained adhd got the bitch and flyed out of there

The sky cracked open from getting cracked by the yeet gods. Memes became reality. The Hormuz Blocker activated. Rizz itself began to die. Skibidi toilets overflowed with the blood of fallen sigmas. Diddy oil flooded the streets. Epstein island rose from the eastern piss ocean. Heightism and cancer walked the earth hand-in-hand as the final bosses.

JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO stood on the last uncracked piece of land, fus do rahhhh in one hand, cinnamon roll in the other. and the thanos glove on the third leg Beside him: Nuke Stywalker tweaking on ADHD meds from your moms uncle doused in cocomelon, the Masturdebator still edging in the background, and a legion of deported aliens, drunken sailors, and forklift-certified Discord mods.

But then the discord mods did the metroman armswing and vommited baby oil that caused all of them to slip through the caseoh waffle house shit dimention and eat shit and piss but theough the shit and piss emerged JI JEW THE JEWISH AMERICAN HERO and NUKE STYWALKER

JI JEW raised his fist. “I survived cancer twice and heightism every day. This? This is nothing.”

Nuke Stywalker glitched. “I can solo her… I can solo EVERYTHING (not including parts becase of terms and services).”

I can solo her just edid not care and was in it for the bitches bro took hoes over bros to seriously

harry deporter was too busy assaulting sleepy joe bro forgot the line

cya later alligator

cya in trial pedophile

that he just exploded into gay glitter so gay that it made the straight man to gay that bro started dating girls because it was so fucking gay wanting dicks in every hole Then the lobsters in H.E.B just escaped and started doing there own lobster dance and gained ultra instinct causing the gayfish to go extinct over stinky feet pics from deviantart and only fans

but enough of that dilly dally and lets go back to the serious tone the fucking writers want here because whos with me and just wantsto stop reading to this bullshit and see some ultra realistic hentai!!!!!

They charged straight into the Hormuz Blocker as it fired.

The explosion was biblical. Rizz, sigma, skibidi, and L-ratios collided in one final cataclysmic griddy it even hit the rizzwarp and the yeet gods homes and a battle occured that was so unbelievable the republic of adrian would not let us since even the eternal mogging looked like a childrens fairy tale copared to this so we just call it somethign worse than armpit fetish ok?

And in the last moment before the screen went black, you could hear the faint sound of…

Tung Tung Sahurrrrr in the arbies

FIN.

But then the unnamed general got on his tung tung sahurian bomber then he got ratioed in the city of new porn

Also dont forget uhm i forgot

FIN.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

in mempry of u/somanynamestochossefs sanity fucking again

Writers:

Somanynamestochossef

Fetus can 778

progamer95

editors:

Somanynamestochossef

reddit.com
u/Somanynamestochossef — 17 hours ago

The woke feminist health inspector shut down my restaurant just because I didn't put DEI female cow milk in my milkshakes.

I swear, this feminism bullshit has gone too fucking far. All I did was open up a small family restaurant and serve a few people milkshakes, but because the milk was from my family's all-male cow farm, then suddenly I'm a "creep" and a "pervert" or some shit. This is how they steal our masculinity. By injecting feminism into our food. This is America, and I refuse hire DEI cows. Male cows will always make better milk, and if that triggers you, then go drink your estrogen milk and cry about it.

reddit.com
u/Cold_Childhood_1060 — 20 hours ago

Crazy Easter egg about Sean Combs

The name "Diddy" has five letters, but you know what else has five letters????? NIGGA!!!!!! MEANING that Sean Combs' nickname being "Diddy" is a reference to the fact that he is black.

Pretty cool, right?

reddit.com
u/hhguygf — 19 hours ago
▲ 106 r/copypasta

MY (f19) BF (22M) JERKED OFF TO THE STOCK MARKET??

I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context:

My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life.

It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever).

Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.”

It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it.

Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀

reddit.com
u/moneyprinter101 — 1 day ago

I caught my child using AI

I just caught my 9 year old using Google Al. She had only been using it off and on for about a week.

She talked to it about how to get along better with her little sisters, how to improve her swimming times after a swim meet, and then she used it to help her write fan fiction plotlines for her favorite book series.

I just had a long conversation with her about it, and she's devastated. She didn't know it had environmental impacts and she now fully understands how sycophantic and insidious it is. She's not in trouble, but she's aware we are not to use that again because we don't want her to lose her creativity.

Does anyone have any recommendations on other ways to help children understand the dangers of Al?

My child is extremely gifted, on the spectrum, tests at high levels for reading comprehension and math. She can understand complex topics quite well, but she struggles with emotional regulation. She and her siblings watch no YouTube or Tik Tok and we primarily read books, play board games, do sports, or write/draw/craft as entertainment.

I am horrified by how easy it was for her to slip into it with the "Al mode" offered on her Chrome home page. I can't figure out how to remove it, but she tells me the school computers do not have the Al mode option.

I'm quite shaken up by this. It makes me so mad that my kids have to grow up in a time where every search engine entices you into conversing with Al.

reddit.com
u/Dark_Shadow116 — 1 day ago

I WILL NO LONGER SUPPORT BRING ME THE HORIZON.

I WILL NO LONGER SUPPORT BRING ME THE HORIZON.

If you didn't already know, Bring Me The Horizon released a single called "Kool-Aid". And I am done. Finished. I am not giving it a single stream, a single click, a single penny. I know that sounds insane to some of you, and honestly, a year ago it would have sounded insane to me too. As a fan of the genre, I cannot and will not pretend that BMTH didn't carve out a massive place in metalcore and heavy music. They are one of the bands responsible for bringing that raw, aggressive sound to a wider audience, alongside bands like Parkway Drive and The Devil Wears Prada. I own their earlier albums. I have defended this band in arguments. I have put people onto this band. That makes what I'm about to say hurt even more.

But I am done.

Because "Kool-Aid" is not just a bad song. It is not just a creative misstep. It is something far more sinister, and I am genuinely furious that more people are not talking about this seriously. The entire theme of that single is dripping with cult imagery and cult ideology. Do you understand what "Kool-Aid" means? Do you understand the reference? We are talking about Jonestown. We are talking about mass death, blind obedience, and the surrender of your mind to a manipulative leader. And Bring Me The Horizon didn't just brush up against that theme accidentally. They leaned into it. They glorified it. They wrapped it in catchy production and flashing aesthetics and fed it directly to an audience that is largely made up of teenagers and young adults who are still figuring out who they are. That is not edgy. That is not artistic. That is deeply, genuinely irresponsible, and I will not pretend otherwise.

And here is what makes me the most furious of all: this band used to mean something. "Count Your Blessings." "Suicide Season." "There Is a Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It." Even "Sempiternal," which marked a major sonic shift, still had weight to it. Still had rawness. Still felt like a band that was processing real pain and real darkness and turning it into something that connected with people who were struggling. That was the whole point. That was why people latched onto this band so ferociously. Because Oliver Sykes and this band made music that felt honest.

What is honest about "Kool-Aid?" What is real about dressing up cult manipulation in pop-soaked production and selling it as a banger? Nothing. Nothing at all. This is a band that has completely abandoned its roots, and not in the way that people complained about when they went from deathcore to metalcore, or from metalcore to more accessible rock. This is a moral and artistic abandonment. They sold out their identity so completely that they are now producing content that actively promotes the idea of surrendering your will and drinking whatever poison your leader hands you. And they are marketing this to kids.

That is the part I cannot get past. I am a devout Christian, and yes, that shapes how I see this, but you do not need to be a Christian to be disturbed by a major rock band glamorizing cult mentality to a young, impressionable audience. These are kids who look up to Oli Sykes. These are kids with BMTH posters on their walls and BMTH lyrics tattooed on their arms. And the message being delivered to them now is: surrender yourself, drink the Kool-Aid, follow without question. That is not dark art. That is dangerous messaging dressed up with a production budget.

I have tolerated the pop direction. I have tolerated the electronic detours. I even gave "POST HUMAN" a fair shot because I wanted to believe the fire was still there somewhere underneath all the gloss. But this is the line. This is where I get off.

I will not be purchasing the album. I will not be reviewing it on this account. I will not be streaming it beyond what I have already heard. Bring Me The Horizon in 2024 and beyond is a completely different animal from the band I fell in love with, and not in any direction I can respect or support. The roots are gone. The honesty is gone. What is left is a slick, cult-flavored pop machine aimed squarely at young people who deserve far better than being told that blind devotion is something worth celebrating.

I still love the early catalog. I still believe "Sempiternal" is a landmark record. But this current era? This "Kool-Aid" era? It does not get my money, my streams, or my platform. Full stop.

reddit.com
u/Decent-Basil4012 — 1 day ago

AITA for busting at air traffic control and causing a mid air collision

So i was at work at air traffic control (because that is where i work) and i was watching the planes land and also the planes go into the sky. Usually i would do some air traffic control stuff but today i was really bored so i just decided to just start and do some gooning but then i just busted all over the everywhere place so when usually the control panel stuff would go something like: ''beep boop'' they were now going what was probably more similar to ''zip zap'' and so forth because i had busted on them because i am sometimes clumsy. According to my boss that was why the reason the midair collision occured anyway i was wondering if i was the bad guy here or anything

reddit.com
u/st1nt89 — 1 day ago

Every. Single. Time.

when you’re about to jerk off in minecraft but then the game hits you with “you cannot stroke right now, there are monsters nearby” and the vibes are cooked. So you lowkey just go outside and #fuckdatcreeper instead on some nonchalant shit.

reddit.com
u/Disastrous-Yam-2919 — 1 day ago

Completely naked in front of my naked blind grandma

05-19-26 , my grandma was cleaning the bathrooms, and I was in the office space doing Homework and i got super hard For some reason, I decided to strip off all my clothes and jerk on omgel But then I had the idea of jerking in front of my grandma Completely naked on omgel So I did just that, i jerked behind her, and i cumed into my hand So it wouldn't get on the floor, But I've been jerking off next to her for weeks Just with my dick out.

should i stop?

reddit.com
u/Can_you-help — 1 day ago
▲ 101 r/copypasta

Im going to start calling breasts "chest spheres"

Calling them breasts makes me feel like some overly formal Piece of shit with a stick up my ass. And calling them anything else apparently makes me creepy. Including saying breasts, probably. So great. They're spheres on the chest. Chest spheres. Boring. But not creepy.

reddit.com
u/SceneOutside4377 — 2 days ago

CCTV Cameras in the men's toilet: Fined for turning them away, and now they are threatening to leak footage of me urinating.

Hey guys, I am dealing with some absolute workplace insanity right now and I need some urgent legal/life advice.

I work at a tech company located inside a business park/mall, so we use the common public washrooms. I recently noticed that the mall management installed CCTV cameras directly facing the standing male urinal blocks. Knowing this is completely illegal and a massive invasion of privacy, I twisted the camera away so it faced the door instead. I ended up doing this twice.

They caught me on camera twisting it, went straight to my boss, and slapped a ₹2,000 fine on me (which my boss requested them to reduce to ₹1,000).

I went to meet the mall management today to dispute the fine because recording a urinal is straight-up illegal, and it turned into a complete nightmare.

The Extortion & Harassment The management tried to justify the cameras by saying, "We aren't able to see your private parts, we just put them there for safety." Then came the literal blackmail. They threatened to make the video viral and blast it to everyone. And they didn't just mean the clip of me altering the camera—they explicitly threatened to leak the entire video, including the footage of me actually urinating. They casually claimed they hadn't shared it yet "out of respect for my boss."

When I told the manager I don't care if they leak it because extortion is a crime, and that I'm still not paying the fine, he got incredibly aggressive. He claimed he consulted a High Court advocate, told me to do whatever I wanted, and started hurling personal abuses:

"The parts you have, I have too. What's the big deal?"

"I am only sparing you out of respect for your boss, otherwise I would have slapped you twice right here."

"Honestly, I feel like you have female parts down there, that's why you have such a problem with this."

I was so done with his audacity that I just spat back, "Do you want to see? Let's go." The Stupidity (They gave me written proof) These idiots literally handed me a formal, printed tax invoice for the ₹1,000 fine, complete with 18% GST. In the notes section, they clearly wrote in Gujarati: Penalty applied for changing the angle of the washroom camera. They literally handed me written, stamped documentation admitting they have a camera in the washroom!

My Boss's Reaction The management told my boss they are taking the penalty from him. Instead of backing me up, my boss completely folded. He told me he doesn't want to waste his time fighting because the management "has a free team to handle this and we don't." So, his brilliant solution is to just illegally deduct the ₹1,000 fine directly from my salary.

I refused to back down. I just filed an official complaint on the government cybercrime portal, and I am heading to the physical police station this evening right after my shift ends.

Has anyone dealt with taking a management body to the police over severe privacy violations like this? Any advice on how to handle the cops so they register the FIR immediately? Wish me luck.

reddit.com
u/photon229 — 1 day ago
▲ 137 r/copypasta

fat

Bro my ass is so fat. Whenever I jerk off, I js hear a second pair of clapping so like sometimes it tricks me into thinking that someone is jerking off to me jerking off.

Ts genuinely fucking scares me so I try to keep my ass separated with my laptop for now until I find a diff solution. I've tried plugs, I've tried beads the size of my fist, but my ass still claps. If you guys got any recommendations for making my ass not clap OR AT LEAST making it quieter PLEASE lmk
Uhh otherwise
Otherwise.

reddit.com
u/KarinaPlayz — 2 days ago

Cut Off at a Red Light

Yeah out at this red light, I actually cut somebody off, they came up and rolled their window like "Hey nice blinker idiot", I was like "I didn't even have it on, I didn't know I had one honestly".

reddit.com
u/Ok-Acanthaceae-9116 — 2 days ago

Opinion: No Fucking Way The My Chemical Romance Singer’s Father Said All That Shit to Him at A Parade

Does the My Chemical Romance singer think I’m stupid? He clearly must think I’m a big fucking joke if he assumes I’m dumb enough to take the song “Welcome to the Black Parade” at face value. Claiming this is a realistic ballad is total bullshit and I’m gonna prove it. There’s no Gerard-damn way the My Chemical Romance singer’s dad said all that shit to him at a parade. Let’s examine the evidence.
First off, are we to believe that the My Chemical Romance singer’s father was always speaking in depressing rhymes like an emo Tom Bombadil? I’m just saying it’s a little suspicious that his dad speaks in straight prose with a consistent emphasis on rhyming every third sentence.

Secondly, how the hell would the My Chemical Romance singer even know what his dad was talking about? He was a kid at the time! If my dad sat me down after baseball practice and started talking nonsense about me growing up to be the “savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned,” I would have been very confused. I’d also have a few questions. Chief among them, why the hell is this my responsibility? I bet Pete Wentz’s dad never put that kind of pressure on him.

Honestly, the lyrics of this song come off like one of those fake stories on Reddit where an attention-seeking parent claims their kid said some profound shit like, “I’m not sad my dog died. I was just happy to have known him.” Even if that story is actually true, your kid sounds like a psycho who can’t form meaningful attachments. Enjoy your upvotes.

I’m onto you, My Chemical Romance singer. Your story is bullshit. See, my dad also took me to see a marching band when I was a kid. But all he said to me was “this sucks, hand me another beer from the cooler,” because that’s how dads actually talk.

reddit.com
u/Wild_Presentation961 — 3 days ago

Okay but something about this clip feels genuinely sweet.

A shy learnosaurus, 23 years old, autistic, yet so willing to help and learn despite his anxiety. This character really touched my heart on a personal level.

reddit.com
u/Decepticon_Kaiju — 3 days ago

Having a girlfriend is cuckoldry

If you have one as a nonchad, then you're in this foid's perception a mean for reaching chad. Thus it's sure that on first occasion you will be cucked; that’s cuckoldry.

If, on other hand, you have one as a chad, then you're letting rest of your countless harem flow to other, less bussy chads; that’s cuckoldry.

Therefore having a girlfriend is cuckoldry.

reddit.com
u/UsefulRazzmatazz1952 — 2 days ago

rawr!!

Pounces on ur lap, owo u so stiff~
Nuzzle wuzzle your chesty westy, ooh u getting warm~
Unzips ur oversized hoodies, oof so musky
Voice getting deeper, yeah i am wolf now
Bite marks on yo necky-wecky, weave a little bruise
Paws on ur waistline, lickies my lips
Give me those headpats, moving around
Punish me daddy, please adopt me tonight uwu~
Wagging my widdle baby tail because I am happy rawr
Murr~

reddit.com
u/Swing448 — 3 days ago