AITA for finding it difficult to be “normal” around (future) MIL
Good morning ladies & gents, I need advice. I’m going to drop a summarized version of my issue as it is quite lengthy & I didn’t want to write a book.
I live states away from family and moved in with my partner and his parents a year ago to escape a bad situation. We’re in our early to mid-20s, working, in school, and trying to improve our credit, with plans to move soon. I met my partner’s mother (MIL) at work and started dating my partner two years later. We have been together for 18 months and have a one-month-old daughter. I wanted a private hospital experience with only my partner and my mother present (for labor & delivery only, mom went back to MILs house after), but MIL was upset about not being allowed to visit. This disagreement led to tension, especially after my partner’s parents expressed disappointment and caused my partner emotional distress the same day of baby’s birth. Despite apologies (only to my partner), MIL & I remain at odds, agreeing to disagree without resolving the issue. <- we had a conversation the day after my mom flew home and it was just a yelling match as I was angry and so was she. I felt she ruined our baby’s birth day & popped the newborn bubble before it even fully formed, she felt like she was valid and that our day wasn’t ruined. We spoke calmer at the end of the night & agreed to try and move forward but I’m finding it difficult. This was all a month ago mind you.
Baby girl is 7 weeks old, and although I do make an effort to not let my feelings interfere with MIL spending time with her, I’ve run into a new problem. I feel MIL thinks she’s entitled to my daughter because we live in her house. She tends to come up to us with her hands open and say “let me see” or “I’ll take her” instead of asking us if can she hold her. She tries to soothe baby when she’s upset instead of giving her back right away. She also offers for others to hold her while she’s still in my arms. I’ve been trying not to overthink but it’s starting to feel like she feels a sense of entitlement to my baby and I don’t know if it’s because we live in her house, she’s the grandmother, or if she’s just excited.
Please help me find a way to set some boundaries in a respectful but firm way, I want it to seem lighthearted & unbiased as I’m already having a hard enough time with normality from the previous issue.
Thank you