I miss you and you’ll never know now
I shouldn't miss you at all after what you did to me. How you left things, me. And yet im still here thinking about you months later and for why?? I havent spoken to you, despite your numerous efforts at me, and ive tried to move on and its just so hard. How do you genuinely love someone for as long as you say you loved me and leave them like that?? And im still here sometimes, thinking about what we used to be and what we used to have. Its the worst at night, especially when the only thing that'd help me sleep some nights was your heartbeat, your breathing. I miss not feeling so alone. I miss the long intellectual conversations before bed and the kisses in the morning. You don't realize what a treat it is to be loved at any level sometimes until it's gone, and boy am I missing companionship like that. I just wish I could have it without the bs attached. I digress, I know you'll never see this and I'm not going to respond to you because I know I deserve better, but I do miss the good parts more than anything. I miss the best friend I had in you.