Needing to vent..
I have one SD, I won’t get in to too much detail, but we have her 50/50 and she’s made my life hell the last 4 years and recently came home from a residential facility. I have been dealing with chronic health issues the last two years and have been incredibly sick. I wfh and own my own business, but with how sick I’ve been, it’s been hard to do that. DH works a lot and has to work weekends, holidays and has mandatory overtime. I am frustrated that BM won’t take her more this summer as I do not feel comfortable supervising a kid who just got out of residential, nor does my health allow me to. I personally do not feel safe around her.
But also the mental load I carry in our home is just too much, I handle all finances, bills, grocery, pet stuff, household, maintenance, scheduling, everything. DH gets to come home from work and just relax, I never get to. I do understand his job is a lot, but I’m also incredibly sick.
Recently I’ve hit my breaking point when our 5 year old hvac began leaking water and had been for some time. There is issues bc it was not installed up to code and had caused 10k+ in water damages. I was the one who learned that, decided to call a different company out as there were many things not up to code and I wanted an outside opinion. Now there are lawyers and insurance involved and it’s just a mess. I am the only one handling it, he did zero research, zero help.
I am just at my breaking point about the amount of mental load I am under. I have MCAS, POTS and EDS. I am chronically exhausted and just need something to give. DH keeps telling me I need to relax, do something that’s not stressful, but I don’t think he gets that by the time I handle everything, I don’t have any energy left for me, most days I don’t even have the energy to do anything but things have to be done.