I’m curious! When it came to your stepkid getting a car or a cell phone, how did y’all figure that out? We have a while lol she’s only 6 but time is flying! 😂 I’d love to hear what other people did or are doing when it comes to those big milestones, especially in a blended family.
Hello ladies!!! 😂
I met DH when SD was 4, and now she’s 6, almost 7.
Like a lot of y’all, I have never tried to take BM’s place. I never wanted to be “mom.” In the beginning she was pretty friendly, but I always trusted my gut and kept my distance. I’m glad I did.
Things really changed when SD asked if DH and I could take her to get her ears pierced. I told her, “I don’t mind at all, but you have to ask your mom first.” BM had a whole list of rules if we were the ones taking her, and by the time everything was added up, it would’ve been around $200. We agreed, then she suddenly changed her mind and said she wanted to take her instead. I honestly didn’t care either way my ears are already pierced. 😂
Fast forward… her grandma ended up taking her to Claire’s and getting them pierced anyway… without both parents’ permission. That part had me cracking up.
Then one day SD asked if she could call me “Mom.” I told her I didn’t have a problem with it, but the following week she came over and gave me a whole speech about how I’m not her real mom, I’m her stepmom. I just laughed and told her, “That’s okay! You can call me by my name.” Later she told me her mom had explained the difference. I honestly don’t mind that conversation at all.
What I do find funny is BM has been married to the man she cheated on DH with, and she had SD calling him “Daddy” after only two weeks of dating. So… the double standard is interesting.
Fast forward to now—we’re back on our normal schedule, and since I’m off on the weekdays SD is with us, I help DH out.
Recently SD randomly told me, “My mom said you can’t punish me or spank me, and I have to be nice to you or I won’t get to see my daddy anymore.”
Y’all… I laughed so hard. 😂
First of all, I don’t spank her. Never have, never will. I don’t ground her either. I leave discipline like that to her parents.
But trying to undermine me as an adult in the home? Yeah… we’re not doing that.
I simply told SD, “You know your stepdad can’t spank or ground you either. We have the same role, remember?” That seemed to make sense to her. She’s like nice to know.
The whole “if you’re not good, you won’t see your daddy” thing is just weird to tell a child.
The funniest part? As far as BM knows, she still tells SD that DH and I are just boyfriend and girlfriend… meanwhile we’ve actually been married for a while. 🤣 That’s our business, not anyone else’s.
The icing on the cake was when they did a co-parenting therapy session over the phone. BM started crying and told DH, “I wish you treated me like you treat her. She’s basically getting everything I wanted.”
Mind you… she’s been married for years at this point.
At this stage, I genuinely feel like my existence bothers her more than anything. I don’t go to pickups or drop-offs, we don’t communicate, and I stay in my lane. The only thing I won’t do is let anyone teach SD that she doesn’t have to respect me as an adult in our home.DH backs me up on whatever I say.
I love my weekly “my mom said this about you “
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? 😂
Does anyone else’s Husband drive trucks? If so how does your custody schedule work out ?