u/Alterthor

Hi! I (26m), and my boyfriend (23m) just finished a conversation that left me absolutely hollow inside. I genuinely don’t know what to feel and Im so confused on how I should move forward with this situation.

To give context, my boyfriend and I met when we were both in college. His parents are absolutely demanding and controlling of him and it didnt help they were also homophobic. So when he got the chance to study at a college a bit far from them, he took the chance as any sane person would. Once he got settled in, it didn’t take long before he had his “h*e phase.” He genuinely let loose of all the inhibitions he had with himself and his sexuality and lived vicariously, partying and whatnot.

A month after that, we met. At first we were genuinely just ho*k-ups but it developed into something more. Now, I wasnt raised like he was, I was independent and gave no f*cks. My parents also tolerated me and I already had my fair share of ho*k-up and partying so I was already looking for a relationship and we somehow just clicked. One thing lead to another and here we are three years later.

Our relationship is honestly one of the healthiest relationships that could ever be had. He was- and still is, such an amazing partner. I genuinely thanked every stars and God for giving him to me because I could have never asked for such a devoted boyfriend. But after today, I really dont know anymore.

We were promenading on a park and he suddenly raised a topic that instantly told me, something was definitely wrong. He asked me, “Don’t you get the feeling to try something different?” He added that he genuinely loved and cared for me deeply but sometimes he just wants to have something (or specifically, someone different.) My heart sank but I didnt overreact. I tried to get to the bottom of what he was trying to point out. And he said, he didnt want to have his life flash before his eyes and he havent done anything or experienced more of what life had to offer.

I heard him out and processed what he was saying as best as I can even tho I genuinely just want to curl into a ball and cry my heart out. It hurt but I get where he was coming from and I truly understand him. He’s young(er) and hasnt done much exploring and all he’s been with his life was try to live up to his parents’ expectations. As much as I tried to just shut the idea off, I suggested otherwise.

I told him to explore life, go have fun, party and sleep with whomever he would like but I also informed him, I wont be their by his side. I even jokingly said, “you cant have it all you greedy mofo.” We’ll put our relationship on hold for him to experience everything he wants to experience but I also said that even if our relationship is on hold, I wont be. I’ll keep on moving forward just like what he will be doing.

Anyway, I genuinely dont know how to act around him anymore. Im just so confused and hurt and just so, so sad. I really thought I was enough this time. I genuinely thought I was enough.