I don't know if my story counts.
When I was around 8-10 I experienced what I count as cocsa. My brother, who was 13-15 (I think? We could've both been younger I'm not sure. I do remember he was old enough to have pubes), told me about porn, and masturbation. He would have me suck him off and he'd eat me out and stick his fingers up my butt. But the thing is that I honestly sought it out. Thats why I dont know if my story counts because being so honest, I would come to his room every night at the same time seeking it out. I figured it was just something we did, and I feel like Im not allowed to play the victim card when I kind of caused it. I still remember the night everything stopped when I went to his room to do our nightly routine (watch porn on his tv and masturbate together) and he told me that we had to stop because it was incest. I was so young I remember not knowing what incest meant. I asked and he said we shouldn't be doing what we were doing. I know my descriptions of the events were like... Juvenile ig? But idk how else to oput everything. I feel so disgusting every time I see him (I stay over at his house quite frequently because my home situation is not good). And sometimes he makes freaky jokes with me and holds rye contact a little too long. I'm not sure if he remembers any of it or not because he repressed a lot from that age I know. So...like... Is my story valid? Am I still considered a victim if I complied and sought it out? I ddon't know what to do. I can't get therapy for it because i have no money but I really don't know what else to do. I can't talk to anyone about it because my boyfriend would freak out. And I couldn't tell anyone else, yk? so am I valid yes or no guys.