When will Blizzard address the inoperable and hazardous forklifts that are found across multiple maps?
While Eichenwalde and Paraíso are both getting reworks to make them more balanced, Blizzard is once again neglecting the one thing that makes the game truly unplayable: their forklift model.
I never expected them to design a forklift with complete accuracy, and indeed there are many aspects of the design that don't appear to make logical sense (i.e. the control levers, the steering wheel, the science-fiction reimagining of a gas cylinder) however I can suspend my disbelief for a great many of these and accept the straightforward justification that it looks like that because it's from the future. There are, however, a couple of glaring features such that, at a glance, a player can discern that this machine is not only unsafe, but essentially inoperable.
The rear wheels of the forklift, which are the wheels used for steering, have absolutely no space in the wheel well to turn even a mere degree. There is some semblance of a steer axle between them, but it is helpless to do anything. Before someone suggests that perhaps the front wheels steer on this model (and if that were the case, the future of warehouse operations looks bleak) they are also tightly constrained by the chassis. Good luck getting anything done when your forklift is bound to one axis.
The forklift carriage is completely devoid of a load backrest, which would help keep the load secure, preventing it from shifting backwards and potentially falling onto the operator. This would especially be an issue for the operations of the Havana forklift pictured above, as the Don Rumbotico Distillery seems to already be palletising its stock in an unstable fashion under the illegitimate leadership of Maximilien. One must hope the glass-like material acting as an overhead guard is of some sturdy futuristic alloy, otherwise the operator can expect a case of rum to come crashing through it.
How I wish I could simply walk back from spawn and ignore the fixed countenance of this infernal, unturning forklift, but it smashes my immersion like a sledgehammer. The illusion of the machine is gone, and the whole map begins to unravel around it. Players, objects, textures-- flat images on a flat screen, but even these images are losing their form. I see each flashing pixel alone, meaningless, while the whole has become incomprehensible. My teammates ask for help on payload but their pleas melt into the universal din. All senses becoming one; the one becoming unfeeling. I lift my voice to the choir, a silent scream echoing down the hallway of our infant universe, calling me back to the cosmic singularity before time. This is especially inconvenient for my team as I usually play tank so they really need me. I hope Blizzard will consider fixing this.