My MIL is starting to actually scare me
So just to warn you this is kind of a long story. I'm also on mobile so the format might be a bit odd.
Basically we (me and my husband) are expecting our first baby in November. This will be his parents and my mom's first grandbaby (my older half siblings are my dad's and don't visit). This is also my first ever pregnancy and things so far are going great. We're super excited to become parents. Due to those things we told our parents pretty early on. I wanted to make sure I had support if anything went wrong. My parents were immediately excited, his parents were another story. They quite literally didn't believe us. They claimed we were lying and just trying to prank them again(even though we told them in the beginning of March). I will admit back in 2020 we did a stupid April fools prank where we sent a picture of a fake positive pregnancy test and told her if it was a girl we were gonna name her April Fools. It lasted no more than ten minutes and was over text due to restrictions. She reacted badly and smacked my husband across the face next time we saw her. Anyways when we looked at them and quite literally asked them "why would we tell you now if it were an April fools prank?" They started to believe us. His mom even went as far as telling us she wanted to buy us a crib, bassinet, rocking chair, dresser,diaper changing table, etc. the list goes on (yes this does come into play later).
Immediately his mom started saying how she "can't wait to finally get her baby girl". She did have four boys and has extensively shared how she wanted a baby girl. I was only about 5-6 weeks along at that point and we didn't know the gender obviously. Me and my husband do not care what the gender is as long as our baby is happy and healthy. She literally asked me every time she saw me after that if I knew the gender yet. It got to the point where I started to avoid being near her. When we showed her the first sonogram picture she claimed she was having sleepless nights over wondering if it's a girl. She also tried to suggest multiple times that I get an aminocentesis so she can know if she's gonna finally have her "little girl". When I mentioned wanting to wait until birth to find out she told me I can't put her through that and how she can't buy stuff for the baby without knowing its gender. So we decided to have a gender reveal to get her to stop bugging constantly.
Around 2 weeks later his parents went on a trip to Florida for a little bit. Before they left his dad was telling us how his mom has determined that our cars aren't safe enough for her grandchild and how she was making him buy us a new car. He also said she was basically draining their bank account with all the stuff she's been buying for the baby. He then told us how she bought 4 pairs of snow pants (which is kinda ridiculous because the baby is going to be under six months old and isn't gonna be in the snow playing) and has already filled at least 2-3 large tubs with stuff she has bought. He also told us how she said she's gonna buy two car seats one for our car and one for her truck. I'm sorry but my child is not getting into a vehicle with her behind the wheel. I have been with her in the car when she has almost got in not an accident because she couldn't see the car next to her because it was a smaller car and she had a lifted Tahoe at the time. Not a chance my baby is getting in her now lifted pick up truck.
When they got back they mentioned taking us on a trip there. I basically said I can't really travel across the country (we live in Michigan) right now especially because I have a blood clotting disorder that could be worsened by pregnancy and just can't sit in a car that long. They immediately said "no we mean next June (2027)." We said we weren't sure because the baby would only be around 7-8 months old at the time. They proceeded to tell us that they'd come with us and take the baby the whole time so we could relax. His mom them went on to say how she'd take the baby to the zoo, and aquarium, and museum while we went to the beach. I looked at her like she just sprouted two extra heads and said "do you expect me to miss out on those first experiences with my child?" She said "no, you can definitely come too." Like how would I get to relax. Not to mention if she thinks she's gonna take my child from me for multiple days when it's so young she's out of her mind.
About a month ago my best friend texted me a picture of a crib from one of her other friends who was getting rid of theirs. It happened to be the exact one we were already looking at, and the only reason they were looking to sell it was because their daughter had grown out of it and were upgrading to a toddler bed. This crib/diaper changing table combo was black and was basically in brand new condition side from a few bite marks when there kid was teething but you can barely see them. Online the price for this is easily $400 minimum they only wanted $100 and were even willing to give us the waterproof mattress. My husband knowing his mom wanted to buy us one, texted her basically asking if she wanted to give us the money to buy it. She proceeded to ghost him.
For a little context my dog has horrible separation anxiety so she stays at his mom's with the other dogs and the people who are home throughout the day while we're at work. One day I go to pick up my dog and usually I end up chatting for a little bit if shes home. I thought this day would be no different, she refused to even say hi to me and only gave me one word responses and would not look in my direction. I figured she was having a bad day and left because I honestly felt super unwelcome. A few days later she still hasn't given us any kind of response on the crib. My friend was bringing it over the next day so I texted my dad and he was able to cash app us the money. A few more days pass and I go to pick up my dog again. Now usually she keeps her dog in crates most of the day even if she is home (I don't agree with this but it's not my house so I keep my mouth shut). Anyways I usually take the dogs outside if no one is home and I refill their water, give them some attention, a treat and let them chill inside for a bit before putting them back in their crates. I did not know she was home this day and as soon as I walked in the door, the dogs started to bark. She quite literally screamed at them to shut up then turned the corner, saw me, immediately turned around and walked in the other room. I asked if she wanted me to let the dogs out and she snapped back "No!" So I took my dog and left, I was obviously not welcome. So I said something about it to my husband and he decided to go over there and talk to her. She was mad about the crib situation and accused her of lying to her about how we found the crib and how it's impossible to find a second hand crib that "just so happens to be the exact one you wanted without looking for it" and how we were breaking a family tradition. We were not aware this was some kind of tradition and I honestly believe that was a lie (she has lied to us about much more important things in the past). My husband basically tells her if it was a family tradition she should have said something so we could've handled it accordingly and that she needed to apologize for how she treated me. She started acting nice as pie and still hasn't apologized.
So with all that being said I've been doing my best to keep my distance. Two days ago I went to pick up my dog and she somehow knew I had an OB appointment the day before and asked me if everything was okay with the baby. I said "yea I was just getting the results from the first set of genetic testing." She immediately wanted to know the results, so I told her everything came back normal and the baby is doing fine. She proceeded to follow me outside and ask about the reveal party. I told her the details (it's about two weeks away) and she proceeded to tell me how disappointed she's gonna be if it's a boy. She then went on to tell me how she was so disappointed every time she gave birth and it was a boy. I immediately looked at her like wtf, and said "I'm just hoping it's happy and healthy" before getting in the car and leaving. I brought this up to my husband and he wasn't even surprised. Today I went to pick up my dog and did the whole thing of letting them all out and getting them a treat, etc. I was looking for treats of some sort and couldn't find any. I noticed three bags off to the side of the room and figured she probably bought some last night after work. I opened the bag to find a bunch of onesies and socks, all bright pink and frilly. I can't explain my thinking behind what I did next but I looked in the other bags. More girly onesies, socks, blankets, etc. I ended up giving the dogs crackers and going home.
With all this being said I'm genuinely terrified how she's going to react at the gender reveal. I can honestly see her throwing a temper tantrum like a damn toddler if it's a boy or making it all about her if it's a girl. Shes quite literally causing me to not even be excited about it anymore. I'm also worried about how she's gonna be once the baby is born. She already tried to pull the whole "well I raised four boys so I know everything there is to know about raising boys" and that's just been when I've talked about me and my sisters (my mom had 3 girls, 1 boy) and how we were raised. I can also see her trying to take over as mom if it's a little girl especially due to her "my little girl" comments.
I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just needed to rant. But it's honestly starting to upset me and cause more stress than I need or want. Everything to do with my pregnancy has been difficult. I'm 16 weeks along and am still dealing with nausea and throwing up, have no appetite, my emotions are all over the place, and she's literally making me so stressed I'm tearing up typing this out. I'm starting to seriously consider if I should get a no contact order or something. In my opinion she's acting insane. My husband has been using the excuse of "it's her first grand child she's just excited." But this feels more like she obsessed with me having a girl. Am I crazy or what?
TLDR: my MIL is obsessed with me having a girl and the ways she's been acting is starting to scare me