u/Amazing-One3858

Helloo I’m looking for new friends to just talk about whatever with. My timezone is gmt+8, but I don’t mind wherever you from, as long as you’re 18+ and no nsfw please.

My biggest interest is digital art. I also like anime and manga. Though I don’t watch as much nowadays, I’d be willing to try any recommendations. I own a few games as well, but I’m not a huge gamer and I’m pretty trash so pls don’t judge if we play anything together😭

I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts recently so I contacted a hotline, and then got referred to a counselor.

We had our first meeting today, and when she asked why I was here. I just straight up talked about my thoughts, self harm, other things. Since I assumed she’d already know from the referral.

But I’m feeling super embarrassed afterwards, I feel like I’ve talked way too much, that I’m attention seeking or exaggerating my problems. I know most people would probably hide or hesitate talking about those things so openly. Is it unusual of me?

Today I met a social worker as I’ve been struggling with suicide thoughts and other worries. They said my thoughts seemed concerning, and it indicates I potentially have anxiety, depression and maybe ADHD, so they recommended me to go to a hospital/ psychologist to seek a diagnosis.

But the price and wait time is a huge problem. I could either go public, where it’s essentially free but the wait time is at minimum 6 months and can go up to 2 years. Or I could do private with no wait time for the initial 1 or 2 sessions, which will cost a fortune, then switch to public for my medication.

I don’t know what I should choose. I haven’t worked much and don’t have a lot of savings. I can technically afford it, but it’s still a lot of money from what little I have, and I’m not sure I’d actually get diagnosed with anything at all… I’m also not open to asking my parents for help, since they’ve reacted really badly in the past. What should I do?