Kangaroo, spinach, mushroom, egg and avo rice bowl.
I am 37 and have been addicted to several substances over the last 18 years.
I kicked my heroin addiction 12 years ago but quickly turned to alcohol and recreational drugs and then cannabis for the last 6 years.
I spent my entire twenties escaping my childhood memories, as I did not want to deal with the pain.
Having psychogenic amnesia, I would go on two-week benders once a repressive memory would arise, and sometimes I would wake up interstate or in a gutter.
Although I was miserable and impulsive, I still found a way to function as an adult to some extent.
I moved out of home when I was 18 and had several jobs while pursuing my passion for writing and finishing my bachelor's degree.
Fast forward to my early thirties; I became a freelance writer while completing my master's. This time around, I was snorting a couple of grams of Charlie a week before turning to heavy drinking, where I would finish 4-5 bottles of wine a day.
To beat these addictions, I turned to another. Cannabis.
I have to admit, weed has allowed me to breathe and self-reflect and work on myself, but as always, I have abused that too, and it has brought on its own set of issues.
I am currently a PhD candidate focusing on substance abuse, and I have not touched a substance for four days now, and I know that's not much, but I haven't gone two days without smoking, drinking, or injecting for 18 years now.
I want to be comfortable with my reality and not want to escape it because I am in pain. I have grown a lot over the last few years, but I have so much more to grow.
I'm not sure what I wanted to gain from this post, but I wanted to say that I am trying and attempting to make myself accountable. Even though this platform is masked in anonymity, I hope I can at least share this with you in hope of hearing stories of others.
Thanks for reading.