r/BoyDinnerDiaries

This person definitely can have any men they want and for some reason at one point they chose me. I was incredibly happy and wanted things to work out but they broke my heart and then stumped on it until I chose myself and self love. After months they came back to my life but now I set my boundaries and let them know that their actions definitely had consequences in me and how I feel about them now.

Definitely feels good to not let my emotions and lust take over my brain and let others in and out of my life just so I feel wanted.

Continue loving and respecting yourself.

My neighbor is a Moroccan who just moved in and he invited us to he’s home for this delicious tajine

Food: Brisket-style smoked tri-tip with coffee-chili rub in a french-baguette style bun. Slightly over done, should've covered earlier.

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I just want to preface this with the fact that I love my wife. She is, along with our baby girl, the most amazing thing in my life. I don't blame her at all for this situation. She is the biggest victim here! Just know that my frustration and sadness might cloud some of my words, but that is not how I feel about her at all!
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So, my wife has struggled with OCD and anxiety for as long as I remember. It's always gone in ups and downs, and we worked on it together and I tried supporting her as much as I could. At the start of 2025 she was completely 'symptom-free' and we decided that that meant we could start working on our family. It didn't take long for her to get pregnant, and we were very excited. But after a few months, the hormones hit her, and her OCD came back with a vengeance. It was the worst I had ever seen.

It was tough. We were constantly canceling plans we had been looking forward to because she was to scared to leave the house. She started up new medications, but options for anti-anxiety medication that can be taken during pregnancy are very limited. But in general, the doctors were saying it would probably get better again after delivery since her hormones would normalize again.

After birth of our beautiful daughter, things did not, in fact, get better. They actually got a lot worse.

My wife's anxiety got worse every week. In the beginning it was manageable. I went back to work after my legal amount of weeks of paternity leave, and she would take care of our daughter (she had much more legal maternity leave, which is silly, apparently fathers don't need to be near their kids but that is a topic for another day). But after a few weeks, she would start calling me at work and I would have to come home to take over care. And a few weeks more she was unable to take care of the baby entirely. She couldn't pick our daughter up because she was too afraid something would happen to her. I had to sleep with our baby every night (and she is a very bad sleeper - up at least 3-4 times each night). I lived on 4-5 hours of sleep every night for over a month.

She also started developing post-partum depression. She would sit in the sofa crying all day while I would have to try to take care of the baby and try to get some work done so I wouldn't get fired from my job (thank god I have an amazing employer that was super flexible in this period and pretty much let me just work half-time for full salary). She started asking questions (while looking at our daughter) such as 'is our baby real?', 'do we really have a daughter?' or 'how do we know the people at the daycare didn't switch her and give us another baby?'.

It became too much and eventually her therapist said that it was clear this was becoming too serious and that this outpatient therapy was not effective. My wife was put on a waiting list for a special mental hospital that focuses on mothers with young babies. The baby joins the mother there, and that way the mother-child bond can be part of the therapy process.

Last week, my wife was called that a spot became available. So we packed up, and I dropped her off.

I can visit them as much as I want, but it is more than an hour and a half drive away, so it is impossible to go every day.

I feel so empty now. I can tell my body needs to catch its breath and rest and this is good. But I went from full time taking care of our girl to seeing her for an hour or so every few days. This can take up to 4-5 months, so it could very well be that my daughter is twice as old as she is now by the time she comes back home.

I know that this is the best route, that this is what my wife needs. But I miss her. I miss my daughter. And it's only just begun. Part of me is also worried what this will do to the father-daughter bond for the rest of her life. She ate her first veggies there. So many firsts I will have to miss out on.

Dinner is a picture of some beef jerky. I actually have no appetite.

We’ve been best friends 20+ years since high school and after a thousand straws, the one that broke our friendship finally came. My best friend who I’ve been tight with since 05-06, was always MAGA once it became a thing. I am quite the opposite in my beliefs but we always kept it out of our relationship and that was a good enough compromise for me as I still had so much love for him. Things began to fray post pandemic as he became more and more vocal about that shit, even around me. He would get drunk and belligerent and start spouting off that shit and eventually it didn’t require him to get that wasted to get there. The conversations of how that made me uncomfortable became more common but I still held out hope.

We were in Louisville for a bachelor party, a place where I, Chinese male from California, had already expressed some feelings of being uncomfortable prior to the trip. I was joking with the group that I’m gonna get hate crimed out there but it was definitely in the back of my mind. First 2 days he was already pretty insufferable with that shit and I was definitely on edge around him. Then came Sunday at Churchill Downs. We were having a good time and I wasn’t feeling any type of way. A 80 year old vietnam vet started making conversation with our group and eventually my best friend also started chatting with him. As I walk past them to leave as we were all calling Ubers and going to the next spot, I hear him say to this stranger “what do you think about Charlie over here?” I turned around and immediately got in his face “the fuck you just say?” He just laughed in my face. So I slapped him. He continued to laugh and said the words I haven’t forgotten since that day “you don’t belong in this group if you can’t take a joke like that.” I was shocked those words left his mouth. At this point we were being pulled a part and everybody is in my ear about being the bigger man cuz everybody knows what to expect from him. Maybe I should’ve too. Maybe I should’ve known there was no safety around this man I thought was my brother for 20+ years.

I’ve been devastated and on the verge of tears everyday since cuz I know what I have to do and there’s nothing that’s going to be said or done to fix this. I’m meeting up with him tomorrow to read him the break up letter I wrote cuz I owe it to myself to say these things to his face and let him know there’s not going back to normal. Other than my wife, I don’t have a deeper connection with another human and I’m honestly in so much pain that our 20+ year friendship is going to end like this. This just fucking sucks man.

Pictured - Eton Mess, Lemon Wedding Cake, and Scrambled tofu on focaccia toast for breakfast morning after

8 years ago I made a post on a subreddit and got a DM. I didn’t really think much of it at first, but we started talking and basically just never stopped. We figured out very quickly that we lived in different countries (Me in the U.S., her in the UK) so we both sort of accepted at first that we’d just be internet friends for a while.

In the meantime we fell in love and after thinking it couldn’t possibly work for 6 years, I finally flew to the UK to meet her in person. It was fantastic and I asked her to marry me two weeks later. The past year and a half since then has been filled with visits back and forth between countries, saving up money, applying for visas, and loads of administrative stress.

At the end of this past May I moved from the U.S. (with my cats in tow as well) to be with her in the UK. We got married yesterday at a town hall ceremony and It’s such a surreal feeling. The whole story is really surreal in itself we know. I know it’s a cliché but I really do think we found our true loves. There’s still have a lot to do, (I need to learn to drive a manual car, get a job once my spouse visa is approved, make new friends, keep in touch with my family and original friends, do married people things) and I never thought I’d ever even leave my home city, let alone home country. Nonetheless I’m here, we’re together, and we’re meant for each other.

In conclusion, love is real. Never give up.

I'm a 21 years old guy, and I've only ever dated this one girl. I met her freshman year and we've been dating ever since then. We hang out a lot and would come to each other houses sometimes. College got a bit busier later, so I focused more on my studies and slowly spent less time with her since then.

Last week, on a Saturday afternoon when she hang out at my family's house and we were playing video games with each other, she forgot her lipstick at our place when she left. After dinner I drove to her house only to find that she had left for dinner. I asked her mom and dad and they said she told them she was going out with her friends. I was planning to just drop the lipstick at her house but her dad told me I could drive there and wait to take her home if I can since she got picked up by her "friends" and didn't drive.

So I did, I went to the place and waited for like, 15 minutes, then I got impatient and went in to check if she had already left. What I found? She was eating with this guy and acting real intimate with him. I just didn't have the courage to confront her and I didn't want to make a mess and fight in the restaurants so I just drove back to her house crying. It was the most I've ever cried, I was faithful to her and only ever loved her, I felt betrayed and like I lost something really important. I wanted to blame it all on her, but in my gut I still felt something like what if she got bored of me because I wasn't paying attention enough to her.

Now, I'm pretty close with her dad. He was a really nice guy and was hospitable to me when I first got introduced to him. Sometimes I helped him fix stuff up or build things around the house, and he would treat me to a drink. It was all very fun times. I guess growing up, my own dad wasn't really emotionally present so it felt nice to have someone like him in my life.

When I told him all about it, he was very supportive. He didn't blame anything on me and said he would ask her clearly about this. He also said that he thought I'm a great boyfriend, and she cheated on the wrong person. Even though he didn't force it, he asked me to give her a second chance, and that she is "young and still dumb".

I went home and the next day, their parents called me saying they scolded her and that she really was cheating. I think they scolded her big time since she texted me with a really apologetic tone and said it was a "mistake".

I don't know if I can trust her words, since she could just be saying this because of her parents. Then again, whenever I think of her dad, I'm uncertain of breaking up. I think it's a mix between not wanting to be on bad terms with him and feeling bad for him if I leave her. I just feel so messed up in all this.

Dinner is a simple Pizza.

Some box mac & cheese. Had no fun toppings.

So I dated this girl for a few months now. Yesterday we had an argument because some guy called her 5 in the morning asking if he and some friends could come over. She was sleeping at my place so she just said ”no bro I’m not home and I’m sleeping” and hung up. But I didn’t like getting woken up that early on my day off by some random dude. So I went to the gym and was very short with her. She came by my place in the evening drunk, I asked where she had been and she said she went to see a soccer game with a friend. This friend of hers is a dude that I’ve heard very little about, I asked about their relationship and how they knew eachother. They were just work mates she said, well it wasn’t just work mates.

She had been dating this guy literally until me and her started hanging out, the dude is also her little brothers best friend so he’s at her house all the time. I don’t know how to feel about this whole thing. She lied at first about their relationship, she got him to pick her up and drop her off at my place. I called him and asked him to come pick her back up where he had dropped her off and he just asked me who are you since she never told him she’s dating me? Maaaan I’m so tired of girls, I’m starting thinking about to play for the other team..

Dinner is a braised umami short rib over mash potatoes and gravy. Some mushrooms too

I put a TLDR and main questions at the end for anyone curious and lazy😀

I(M23) have been with my lovely Gf(22) for 3 years and its been a LDR the whole time, still is. I can say they have been the best 3 years of my life and she truly is my person. I always feel like myself with her and genuinely prioritize her feelings and happiness. It obviously hasnt been smooth sailing all the way but we communicate very well and our love is very strong.

It was my idea first. If there is a strong sexual desire for someone outside of our relationship then as long as we are honest with all parties and keep it strictly a 1-time sexual release. We came to that agreement and gradually talked more about it. I only brought it up because I wanted to be honest about what I see makes relationships fail and how to approach that.

Yesterday she told me that theres a guy at a place she frequents that shes attracted to and she said yes to go out on a date with him. It was a bit anxiety inducing but I was really okay with it. However, after talking about it we realized we had a misunderstanding about what we consider as a strictly sexual encounter. Obviously its okay for her to go on a date with him to make sure hes not a weirdo murderer but I didnt want there to be the sense of Romance on the date as if it were one of our dates. I dont know if thats selfish or unfair but it would just make me uncomfortable to think they hold hands, kiss at the end of dinner, and then make love.

It might just be a biological difference in our perspective of relieving our lust. I truly believe that you can go on a date, have sex, and it not be romantic or sensual. She doesnt.

Now that we have defined that misunderstanding and our differences, shes telling me that she really wants to make this change in our relationship and go through with the intimate sensual sex and dates.

Now heres the kicker, this guy she went on a date with is just the appetizer. She was testing the waters because she let me know yesterday that really theres this guy she frequently sees in her gym that she has had strong sexual desires for and that the already occasionally flirt. I could tell that she wants me to be on board with this now because she really wants to fuck this guy. And ti be honest, that is fucking with me a bit. Because at first she was hesitant with the idea as a whole but now she seems very passionate about going through with it and it seems like its because she really really wants to fuck this guy. It seems like no matter what i say about my feelings, she wants this real bad now and nothing will stop her.

Truth is, I dont want to stop her. I just want to create a boundary with what I am comfortable with. But what I am comfortable is too much for her. She doesnt agree that she can fuck this guy without being romantic or intimate and that brings me sooo much anxiety.

Everything I have mentioned in this post has been spoken about with her. I just feel confused as to what to think. When I express my concerns or anxiety, she definitely comes off defensive. I need to know if I was in over my head even introducing this as a subject in out relationship and Im afraid I may have opened a can of big worms. I really want her in my life forever and i truly believe she wants the same.

Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation or tried to open a relationship? Because I really do NOT want an open relationship. I dont want this to be normal. The last thing i need is an occasional date with some random. I want it to be a thing that happens in extreme cases where the desire for sex is too strong. I fear that her desire for sex is normally very strong and it doesnt help that 1000 men come to hit on her everyday.

TLDR:
I've been in a 3-year LDR with my girlfriend and we proposed an arrangement allowing one-time casual encounters with others, provided they remain strictly sexual without romance. When she started pursuing a man she likes, I discovered she believes sex inherently involves romance—something I disagree with. She revealed this first guy was really a build up to her real interest. Another guy at her gym she desperately wants to sleep with. She's been defensive when I express anxiety, and I'm stuck because I don't want to stop her, but our comfort levels and boundaries are incompatible. I fear her desire combined with the attention she gets from other men means this won't stay a rare thing like I envisioned, and I'm questioning whether I made a mistake by introducing this idea.

Is there a good way to set that boundary?
Did I fuck up and open a bad can of worms?
And do any of you have similar experiences I can learn from?

Dinner is beef stew with homemade fries. A lot of work to make but very good comfort food.

Context: this is a follow-up to https://www.reddit.com/r/BoyDinnerDiaries/s/hDy26YG6TX

Tl:dr of the above post: my girlfriend of two years breaks up with me over video call with very little explanation and no warning up front, two weeks after an international internship. She tells me it’s because I’m not assertive enough, although we’ve just spent the summer talking about our future and wedding.

So basically I’ve been pretty in the dumps over this. I’ve always manifested emotional problems physically and have been struggling with my health. I’ve tried to distract myself by focussing intensely on my job and studies (with admittedly good results) but it still feels like every time I go to bed I fall apart again. I have nightmares and such.

I’ve also told my therapist about all of this, and the drop in my self-esteem because of it. He’s offered some good advice, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

So it’s been a few weeks, and I suddenly get a text from her. I take a while before reading it, trying to work up the courage and nerve to do it. Obviously I’m pretty confused since this is very unexpected.

I read the text. It starts of with an apology for how she broke up. She says she shouldn’t have done it this way and it hurt me and she’s sorry for that. She doesn’t explain why she couldn’t have broken up with me in a better way, though.

She also says I deserve more of an explanation than she gave earlier. The rest of the text is basically a more in-depth reasoning behind why she broke up. Apparently she’s been thinking about it for a while, and as I suspected I probably missed the signs.

She says she had a growing worry about my “lack of masculinity and assertiveness” and she slowly realised she wanted a “guy that could take the lead” and “guide her through her life”. She also says that she doesn’t blame me for this, but it’s just something she needs and I can’t provide. This is confusing to me because when we got together and through all of our relationship she never once mentioned this. In fact, she always said she loved me because I was sensitive, caring, respectful, and a good listener.

Anyways, she continues to say that in the beginning of the summer she’d set an ultimatum. She would give me until she departed to change and take the lead. Again, she didn’t tell me this because then it would be “fake”. Which I understand I guess. Apparently her and I talking about the wedding and our future and doing our summer bucket list was her way of hinting to me.

I failed the ultimatum, and she left, and then broke up.

I haven’t replied and I’m not really planning too. I’m sort of happy with the explanation, but it also feels like another blow. I don’t feel like the entire ultimatum thing was a good way of going about this, and I’m still confused why she seemingly wants something of me I’ve never really been while telling me she loved the things I have always been.

So yeah, I guess I’m just sad again.

Two years ago I was in a toxic marriage that was slowly killing me. I was too anxious to hold a job and ended up broke and living with my parents after the divorce. Now I’m in a relationship with my literal dream girl. She’s beautiful and loves spoiling me when I’m at home. I was working on the weekend today and she brought me a drink and snack because she thought I might get hungry.

At my lowest point I never thought I could be this content with life or this happy in a relationship.

Dinner is birthday ribeye with mashed potatoes and side of veggies made by the love of my life.

EDIT: Thank you guys for the good wishes and support, I work every day to reciprocate and spoil my gf back (I can’t cook for beans so I find other ways). I wasn’t expecting this to blow up, just needed somewhere to vent in a “pinch me” sort of way since it’s been a year and I’m still not used to the way she treats me. She tells me she doesn’t think she spoils me, but I stand by it.

In late 2024, I got injured at my long-term landscaping job and can no longer stand for long periods. I had to find a job that I can physically do. I applied for hundreds of jobs and finally got another after a little over a year: driving disabled people around the community. I love it but it pays less than my previous job. I also put on 10 kg. For the last six months, my wife has been in-and-out of wild mood swings. She resents that it took me so long to find more work, resents that I make less, and resent that I put on a bit of weight. I wake up daily to messages of her telling me she regrets meeting me, that my body is disgusting, that I should feel grateful she stuck with a "loser like you" when I was unemployed. She says she wishes she married a man like my high-earning older brother or cousin. She stays up late, doom-scrolls, and then sends me these messages. Then the next day, she will go "oops, I didn't mean it" and play it off like it wasn't deeply hurtful. I have to pretend it doesn't hurt or she will give me the cold should/not acknowledge my existence when I'm talking to her. I have tried to sit her down to talk about it but she just goes silent and ignores me. I want her to see a psychologist or something about her mood swings but she won't even entertain the idea. I want the person I married but I don't know what to do anymore.

Picture- takoyaki and sushi that I got at the fish market. Shared with a friend.

WARNING; mentions of suicide.

Massive serving of iskender kebap from my local pizzeria.

I'm a usually a pretty stoic guy. I'm not very good at showing emotions. It's not like I don't feel them or that I repress them, but I guess I just don't show them too often.

Five years ago my mother committed suicide. It's one of those suicides where nothing makes sense. No note (which I've now learned is quite common), no indications, no cries for help, nothing. It just happened one day.

The first six months I was just devastated. I was a husk of a human being, thinking and speculating on why she could've done this or what happened. I had no answers. Everything else in my life was on auto-pilot. I remember how oddly fast those months flew by.
After a while just had to try to accept it and try to continue with my life and not let it consume me.

Fast forward two years, and I enter a new relationship with this woman. I've obviously mentioned that my mother is not alive, and stuff like that, but I've never mentioned what happened. Mostly because I don't want to talk about it.

A week ago she finds me crying in the bedroom. My sister had been sharing some pictures in the family group chat, and she posted an image of her (then weeks old) daughter and my mom and it kind of just broke me. My mom was so happy in that picture. So I just sat down on the bed and started bawling. My girlfriend comes into the room and ask what's happening, and I respond that I saw an image of my mom and how much I missed her. My girlfriend comes in and comforts me the best she can, and after a while I collected myself and went on with my life.

Yesterday she texted me that she have been thinking about what happened that night, and that it had been gnawing on her. Her 'image' of me has changed a bit and she has mixed feelings about it.
"I just think of it as a bit of an ick"
She comes from a family and culture where the men in that family shouldn't show emotions, and if they were to become emotional they should make sure no one sees them. That kind of stuff.

Anyways, here we are today. I'm planning on giving her a couple of days to think it over and then I'll confront her again regarding it. I'm not planning to repress my emotions with the fear of having her think less of me. I'm very much on the train that men should be able to express how they feel without being judged, even though I'm bad at doing it myself. Depending on how she reacts it might be the end of this relationship. Wish me luck!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to not be unemployed anymore, but it’s so goddamn demeaning. And I’m a vegetarian. Fuck, man.

Grain and Celery Salad w Apple Cider Vinaigrette and a grapefruit seltzer

My wife admits that she still love her ex boyfriend. She things he is nice person and if his mother didn’t push him he would have married her.

Background

After 25 yrs of marriage she actually called him and they talked for 3 months till I found out about this. I left house and asked for divorce. She called me back and told me that was a mistake. She message me that she still loves me, and asked me to come back. And I did, not because she asked me but for my kids - My daughter is 15 and son is 20.

She meet her boyfriend in college and her boyfriend left her because he was not ready blamed his mother. My wife after few years decided to marry me while she was and will always loves this idot. She don’t see any flaw in this guy.

So today in long drive she tells me that she loves me. But see will always has feelings for ex boyfriend even after 25 years. Not sure at this point what to do. I hate this. I just want to leave her. She is nice to me. She loves our kids. She helps me out every time. But I feel
Like she doesn’t love me and I feel betrayed. Divorce sounds logical but I am too afraid to find someone again.

Hangover meal is carnitas with a healthy amount of guac.

This is going to be a hard one for me to write, especially as this is very fresh. So please bear with me a bit if it seems a bit rambling, I’m going to do my best, but my head is a mess right now.

Last night was homecoming for the college my wife (31F) and I (28M) went to. We were both Greek, and haven’t had much time to get away and have a good night since she got pregnant more than two years ago ago now. So we took this opportunity to do so.

Everything had been going great all day, we both got to introduce our toddler to all the people we haven’t seen in a long time, we got to go to the restaurant in town that was the scene of our first dates, it was a really good time.

Fast forward to around 11pm. Everyone is some level of drunk and or high, my wife and a couple of our friends are sitting on the bar talking, when a very obviously too drunk young lady tapped me on the shoulder, and asked if she could show me pictures of her dog. I kind of was a little caught of guard, especially because as I said my wife was right next to me. She tells me it’s fine, so I start looking at the pictures.

The poor girl was very drunk, and was not being subtle about flirting with me. When I noticed she wasn’t going to stop I said “you know I could show you some pictures of my wife and kid if you’d like”, she didn’t really process this, and put her hand on my thigh as she was scrolling through more pictures. I said “please don’t touch me”, and then she immediately turned to face straight towards me, and straddled my leg, sort of grinding herself on my thigh, and grabbed my crotch.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to do, again my wife is sitting right next to me, so out of pure reaction, I said (not quite yelling but definitely more than normal conversation, it was loud with music playing and 150 people talking) “get the fuck off of me”. In hindsight I wish that hadn’t happened, but it did.

Well so she got off of me, and I said “you literally just assaulted me, in front of my wife. Please walk away.”

Well she did walk away, and right to the president of the chapter. He pulls me aside, and the story he tell me is NOT what happened. She told him that I pulled her into my leg, and put her hand on my crotch. She also completely skipped the part where she was flirting with me for minutes before hand. He told me something to the effect of “well you’re gonna have to leave because she’s saying you did all that.” Despite the fact that my wife, and two other women are standing there telling him that she is lying, and backing me up.

So I leave, and we went to her societies house for the rest of the night, hoping that this would more or less blow over, as I genuinely did not do anything to this woman.

I woke up to a call from the president this morning, and he had the entire executive board on the phone with him. They told me that until further notice, I am completely banned from the property, and that if I try to come before I’m allowed back, that I would be stripped of my letters, and permanently blackballed.

So here’s the thing, I’m 28, I don’t need a frat house to go and party at, I’m not concerned about the fact that I can’t go there, I barely have since I graduated anyway. My issue is two fold. 1. There were multiple witnesses to the incident, and none of them corroborate her story, everyone who spoke up said that I was being very respectful, and that it kind of happened out of nowhere. 2. I now have this attached to my name/reputation. I’ve already gotten three texts from other people, that are asking me why I did what I did, and I have no way to be able to defend myself, because everyone who saw what happened, is graduated.

I just don’t know how to feel, or handle this. I keep coming back to the same thought of, if I’d done what she did, the entire fucking basement full of people would’ve been on me, but she does it to me and I get banned? This is doubly hard for me, because I’m a CSA survivor, so a lot of very hard and depressing memories from that time are also filling my head right now.

My wife knows I did no wrong, and that’s what truly matter, but I can’t shake this feeling. I feel dirty, and I hate it because I was the victim.

ETA: clearing up a couple common things that keep coming up. 1. I don’t live at the frat house, as I said in the post, I haven’t even been there in more than two years. 2. This took place at the frat house, not a bar, and there are no cameras.

27M. Been seeing this girl 26F since May. Not official. Her call. We text every day. She stays over two or three nights a week. We cook, we go on hikes, her friends know my name. In June I asked what we were. She said she liked me a lot but wasn’t ready to put a label on it, and she didn’t want to hurt me by pretending she was sure. I said fine. I meant it at the time.

Last night I went out with two coworkers. She’s there. Corner booth, same jacket she left at my place. Guy from her office has his arm on the back of the seat. Not kissing. Not nothing either. She saw me. We did the little wave. I left after one beer.

Got home and she texted “you good?” then “that wasn’t what it looked like, he’s just a friend from work, we’ve been talking about a project.” I didn’t answer. This morning she sent a photo of the coffee I make her and said she missed waking up here.

I don’t know if I’m the boyfriend she’s not ready to admit or the weeknight option while she figures out the other guy. Both feel possible. Asking her straight feels like I’m about to get the speech again.

Dinner is tattoo chef killer bee frozen pizza with extra bullshit I put on top of it.

Edit: Didn’t expect this many of you. Thanks for the straight answers, especially the ones that didn’t sugarcoat it. One dude accused me of being AI. Beep boop MFer. Anyway from what I gather I am just going to move on. Feelings are strong or whatever but thanks to you guys I think I can do better. Much love. Thank you my redditas.

Personality and Interest wise, me (21M) and my flatmate (23M) are very similar, only big difference is that he gets girls and I don’t, at least for now. Recently I met a girl at university I get along with really well and we are doing a project together. She’ll come over to my place next week so we can work on it, and maybe do something else?

I mentioned this to my flatmate and he immediately suggested that I put on some music for her on my record player while she’s here. I have a very old one I inherited from my grandpa, which still works pretty well and many people seem to be fascinated by. However, I’m very sure that she wouldn’t like the music on most of the vinyls I own (part of which are also inherited), apart from the fact that most of it is not music you could play well in the background while working on something.

My flatmate suggested that he could lend me some vinyls of him. I didn’t even know he had any, especially because he has no record player. He told me that he used to have one, but sold it before we moved in together.

I looked through some of his vinyls, but it was instantly clear that they didn’t really match my tastes. He kept pushing however, arguing that it would be a wasted opportunity. I asked him whether a gimmick like that would even make a difference, and then he said

„Most women are simple. There are many this would work on“

Regardless of whether this works or not (although it does seem to get him far), why should I even bother doing this? Not only would I be dishonest when it comes to what music I listen to, but it would be insulting to her character as well. At least I would be deeply offended if I knew that someone tried to use gimmicks to make me act a certain way because I’m „simple“. Is the reason why he’s more successful in dating than me just because he’s pretending? Do I really have to put on an act to make a good impression? This can’t be the right thing to do

Food - Typical South Indian Meal (Rice, Chicken, Goat, Prawns, Lentil etc)

We met in college and have been together for 6 years. i thought we were fine. then today one of her school mate Dm'd me on insta with a bunch of screenshots. My gf sexting guys she met on hinge and bumble (I even saw some nudes of her in the chats)

apparently she's been doing this for a while and was even telling her friend about it bragging like some achievement. I guess my girlfriend and her friend got into some beef else I don't know why all of a sudden she would share me all these things.

Honestly, I feel like a joker. i don't even want to fight. i don't have the energy to confront her. it's just deep down i wanna know where it all started falling apart on paper everything looked good for us.

I can't even tell this to my friends nor Parents everyone knows her very well I was talking to her about an engagement in Jan 2027. I feel ashamed with deep thoughts stuck in my mind

Fusilli with lamb meat sauce .
My (55M) relationship with my partner (53F) may have ended over a Scotland trip after I found out my mom could die. Am I being unreasonable?
I’m 55M and my partner is 53F. We’ve been together for four years, although we don’t live together. We actually go way back — we went to high school together and have known each other for about 35 years. We reconnected later in life, fell in love, and honestly it’s been a pretty amazing love story.
We’ve had a trip to Scotland planned for a long time. It’s a bucket-list trip for both of us, and we’re supposed to leave October 10. We’ve both been really looking forward to it.
A couple of days ago, everything changed.
My mother has been battling dementia/Alzheimer’s for close to 13 years. I received a call telling me that she wasn’t doing well and could pass away at any time.
Obviously, my first thought was that I might have to cancel Scotland. I told my partner what was happening and that there was a possibility we wouldn’t be able to go.
Her first reaction really caught me off guard.
Instead of saying something like, “Don’t worry about the trip, I’m here for you, we can go another time,” she wanted to know why she couldn’t still go to Scotland without me. She became very upset and started crying about potentially losing the trip.
I understand being disappointed. I was disappointed too. We’ve spent money, planned this for a long time and were excited about it.
But I was being told that my mother could die at any moment.
What I needed from my partner at that moment was compassion and the feeling that she was beside me. Scotland will still be there next year. My mother dying is obviously something completely different.
If the situation were reversed and one of her parents was potentially dying, I honestly wouldn’t even have to think about it. The trip would be over for me. I would stay with her and we would figure out Scotland another time.
Because of her reaction, I withdrew emotionally for a couple of days. She didn’t understand why I was acting differently.
Today we finally had a serious conversation about it.
I thought she might say that she had reacted emotionally because she was disappointed about the trip, but that she understood why I was hurt and would be there for me.
Instead, she continued defending her position. She said she didn’t understand why she couldn’t have gone without me and that she could still have supported me while she was in Scotland.
She also said that I was making her out to be selfish, a bad person or a monster.
The thing is, I never called her any of those things.
I tried to explain that I wasn’t judging whether she was a good or bad person. I was telling her what I expect from a partner. For me, when something this serious happens, you stand beside the person you love. You don’t have to be convinced to do it.
Ironically, my mother has improved over the last couple of days. If she continues improving, I probably would have ended up going to Scotland after all.
But that’s almost irrelevant now because we didn’t know that when I received the call. At the time, I genuinely believed I could be days away from losing my mother.
After everything that’s happened, I told my partner I don’t want to go to Scotland anymore. The whole trip feels completely different to me now.
She became upset and left.
And that may be how a four-year relationship with someone I’ve known for 35 years ends.
I’m devastated because I love this woman. This wasn’t some casual relationship. Until a few days ago, I thought we had something very special.
But I’m also questioning whether I’m looking at this too emotionally because of what’s happening with my mother.
I don’t think wanting to go to Scotland makes her a horrible person. I understand how important this trip was to her.
What I can’t get past is that when I thought I might be losing my mother, her instinct wasn’t, “I’m staying beside you.” Her instinct was, “Why can’t I still go?”
And something about that changed the way I see our relationship.
So I’m genuinely asking:
Am I being unreasonable for expecting my partner to cancel the trip and stay with me if my mother was dying?
And am I overreacting by questioning the entire relationship because of how she handled this?

Dinner is high protein, high volume, high fiber, low calorie mac and cheese with mushrooms (480 calories, 46g protein, 50g fiber).

I've written a lot of responses to people on Reddit (different account), in this sub and others, with the hope that I could help them view their situations in a more positive light and see that things could work out for them, even if things seem dark right now. I genuinely believe that reaching out to people can help them effect positive change, or at least feel a little more seen and understood.

But I can't see much of a way out from how I'm feeling right now. I'll feel better for a day or two, but there's always an underlying pain.

I'm in my mid-40s. I have been single my entire adult life. Starting six years ago, I lost 100lbs. I got in good shape. About nine months ago, I finally got a great therapist. I worked on my self-esteem and self-confidence. I've got a lot going for me on paper: I'm educated, compassionate, I have a good career and financial stability, I have some attractive hobbies, I'm handy, I'm a good conversationalist, I make people laugh, I dress well, I'm in shape. I've worked on myself.

I even have a bidet.

I have always wanted a family. The dating apps don't work for me (no matches). Well, that's OK. I'll go to singles events, go dancing, perform at open mic nights, join book clubs, ask friends to set me up. Nothing. It isn't rejection; I'm just not even meeting attractive single women who are interested in having a family.

When I started this, I asked people if I realistically had a shot of meeting anyone. People said I did. But it seems pretty clear that no, I don't have a shot. I'm not even getting to the point of asking for a first date.

A somewhat cruel twist in this is that when I first decided I was ready to try again, I immediately met a smart, gorgeous woman involved in the same niche hobby (I've been involved in the hobby for over a decade, and this was probably the first time I've met an age-appropriate single women there). We got to know each other a bit before going on a single date, and it was amazing. But she couldn't have a long-term relationship with someone who wasn't religious, and I'm not.

Since then: nothing. And I'm just looking at the math of this: how many months will it take for me to meet someone to ask out? And how many times does that have to happen before someone says yes? And how many times does *that* have to happen before someone says yes to a second date?

And so on. I don't have ten years to cycle through the permutations. My therapist told me "it doesn't work like that," that I'm good at connecting with people, which will grease the wheels once I meet someone, I guess. I suppose I feel like the "social connection" advice makes sense for people in their 20s and 30s, but I can't remember the last party I was invited to. My friends have kids, not soirees.

So what are my options? Well, I can "give up," except that I don't really know how to do that, and even if I did, I don't know how to eliminate desire and not suffer for it every day. On the other hand, I can keep going, losing time all the while, and just keep banging my head into the wall, knowing that with every passing day the likelihood of things working out is going to get smaller and smaller.

Nobody seems to have any better ideas than I do for meeting women. Hell, I ask AI, pointing out that dating apps don't work for me, and it gives me a list of things I have already done. I tell it that, and it says, "have you tried apps?"

Then, of course, it tells me that, gee, "the practical probability of making that happen through standard secular hobbies, app swiping, and casual social circles is microscopically low." But I don't have to worry, because it isn't about my "worth as a man." Yeah, great, thanks - not only did I not mention anything about my "worth," but I've worked through that already.

On top of that, I developed a chronic medical condition a year ago that nobody seems to be able to diagnose or treat (I visited multiple specialists), which has seriously impacted my ability to exercise and my quality of life. My PCP told me last week, "I'm stumped."

It all feels pretty hopeless. I don't care that I can get enjoyment from other things in life if I can't have the one thing I actually wanted and satisfy a basic human desire. Nobody can tell me how to turn this off. Then, today, I watched an old YouTube video with a popular therapist who said, "one of the most horrible adaptations that a human being can have is to be okay without something that they need." I'm not sure what to do with that.

I don't know. Maybe someone will have some advice. But please do not give me the standard "put yourself out there," "get involved in groups," etc. I'm doing that.

At this point, I think I just waited too long, and I'm permanently fucked.

EDIT: Since a couple of people have asked, here's how to make the mac and cheese.

I buy Fiber Gourmet pasta... it is half the calories as regular pasta, but you have to boil it longer. Warning: real chefs will be aghast at how I cook the mushrooms, but you can saute if you prefer. Here is the bulk recipe: two boxes of FG rotini or elbow macaroni, boil for twenty minutes. While it's boiling, you can prep the rest of the ingredients. In a large bowl, put 224g of fat free shredded cheddar cheese (Kraft is the only brand I know of). Add 112g of 2% milk cheese of choice (I usually use Mexican blend or sharp cheddar). In a small bowl, add 22g salt, 8g pepper, 9g garlic powder, 9g garlic salt. In another bowl or cup, 32g of cornstarch.

After 20 minutes, save a cup of liquid. Add 32oz sliced white mushrooms, add some water, after it comes back to a boil, let it boil for five minutes. Then dump into a colander. Add a cup of cold water to your corn starch and stir well. Turn the heat to medium low and dump the cornstarch into your pot. Stir and scrape with a spatula continuously until the cornstarch turns into a gel, then immediately dump a third of your cheese into the cornstarch and start stirring. When smooth, add a third of the saved pasta water. Repeat twice until you have a smooth cheese sauce. To make mixing a big batch easier, I go ahead and add my salt/spices directly into the cheese sauce and stir. If making a a single serving, I would add last. Add your pasta and mushrooms back to the pot and stir (actually more of a fold with a large batch) until the sauce is distributed well. Divide into four servings.

EDIT 2: Thank you to those who tried to be constructive and supportive, I appreciate it. I wrote this post when I was dog tired and should have gone to bed, and my mood reflected that. Luckily, I am not usually in such a low place when I have had some rest. But running low on sleep makes it difficult for anyone to properly process negative thoughts, especially when that was the default setting for many years. I think the realistic answer here is that I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. In the scheme of my life, it hasn't been all that long, and the more I can focus on enjoying the activities I'm doing for their own sake and just connecting with people on a platonic level, the better off I'll be.