u/Think_Bed2430

​

I (m31) kinda had an episode last night. My partner ( f 33) has a few disturbing tendencies. The uncleanliness, lack of food protocol.. and the boogers.

When I moved in in '22 it was a lot for me to move into her house. I wanted neutral ground but we couldn't find a better deal while we save for a house. The house is pretty shoddy and that I can deal with. But it does bring its own problems. Im not the cleanest person. And we are both clutter people. This I accept, but clutter on top of clean surfaces please.

So, the boogers. She has a tendency to cough a lot of flem. We're both smokers. I find her loogies left in the sink, wiped on the walls, on furniture. She used to have a macabre Pollock spot above the bed where she'd leave them on the wall and bed stand. I've mentioned this a lot over the years. Oh, yeah and she plays with them. She will work them over in her fingers till they are a tight ball of sticky resin.

She has made improvements. She will use a paper towel to cough into and keep them. But now I can't clean the table of several napkins without fear of getting goobered. And she doesn't wipe them all over the house. Which Is like "DUH" but it is an improvement.

Last night as im making our dinners to bring into her I see one on the counter edge. I address it, stop myself from beating the dead horse and decide to instead focus on a rather large internal dilemma.

She grosses me out. I tell her that over the years I find it difficult to still be attracted to her when she puts next to zero effort into ever caring for herself or her looks. Does not seem to care the state of our kitchen or the bare minimum cleanliness of cooking surfaces. And the god damned boogers.

WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SHARE MY BED WITH A BOOGER NAPKIN

Plus yeah shes totally a hand eater and a hand feeder and I have to look at those fingers trying to put food in my mouth not knowing when they were last washed.

I display these grievances as delicately and yet objectively as I can. Later I reapproach to ensure her it was not an attack rather something I've been internalizing forever. She responds with that she's not one to call out anyone's bullshit so I should keep in mind that I annoy her too. Naturally I invite the criticism. Not only then but as it comes to her. Im a talker. I voice my emotions and opinions. She is not so open. I wish she was. We're engaged, have three dogs together, and are currently signing a house. Like? Dude. You should be able to articulate your thought to me. Im just supposed know what does and does not suit her at every turn I guess.

Anyway. I don't feel bad. I think I handled it well. And moving into our own home finally I will die on this hill before I resign to an annual scraping of the walls to clean booger spots.

Breakfast this morning is two Montego red 100's and two cups of Cafe Bustello from a French press