New girl wants me to cut off my woman friend
Dinner was steak tacos and diet coke
Update:
I canceled the plans we had with my friend and his new girl to talk face to face in private. If we do decide to end things, I’d also be able to grab my things I left at her place.
Original Post:
So, I’ve (M25) been seeing this girl (F29) for a few weeks now. We both got attached and intimate pretty fast, (all the way). But there’s this friend (F27) I have who is also a woman that she feels threatened and uncomfortable by. The only reason why she does is because over a year ago, we went out on a singular date when we first met. After that, it was mutual that we weren’t compatible. She asked if I’d be willing to stay friends with her and I accepted it. I just saw it as a thing people say when they are not romantically interested to be nice.
Fast forward to today, she actually meant it and became one of my closest friends with everything being platonic. Even on that one date, we never kissed nor hooked up. But new girl is uncomfortable with the existence of the friendship as a whole, and the fact that we’ve gone on one date a while ago. She’s constantly accusing me of caring more about my friend than her because I won’t cut her off. I’ve already made accommodations to her without being asked, such as not initiating conversations with my friend anymore and not hanging out one on one. New girl asked me to stop interacting with my friend's social media which I agreed to. But everything just comes back down to her wanting me to cut her off, yet I’ve reassured her many times that I do not want my friend romantically.
New girl has a lot of trauma with guys being friends with women, and I have trauma with being controlled told who I can be friends with while simultaneously being betrayed behind my back. I’ve expressed to new girl that neither of us are people from out past nor shouldn’t let past people’s actions dictate our current relationship.
I’m big on communication and want to be told if I did something that makes her uncomfortable. I’ll do what I can to help solve it. She took it as I’m going to comply with everything she asks/requests. There have been a couple times I did something she was uncomfortable with and I changed my behavior. She accused me of pretty much lying when I refused to cut off my friend and that me saying “my main thing is making sure you’re comfortable” was BS. I explained to her that this involves a third party and that this conflict is not only between us anymore. She took that literally and said it is just us discussing this right now and my friend isn’t present and that this IS between only us.
She then said something along the lines of “God I wish you’d fight for me as much as you’re clearly fighting for your friend.” I refused to keep talking about this while I’m at work and expressed that. She replied with “k glad you love your friend so much” and I left her on read. She actually just texted me again as I'm writing this after leaving her on read with "love how you don't deny that either lmfao. whatever, I'll leave u alone all day n see you later I guess".
But last night she also threw in my face “technically I’m still single” since I haven’t officially asked her to be my girlfriend yet. I have a cute little thing planned for when I ask her which she knows about, and I’ve expressed to her I do not want to just ask her like a bum since she deserves to be happy, surprised, and treated well.
Her best friend has also been communicating between us as well (which I feel so bad about getting her involved, but she texted me the spiral new girl is experiencing last night) but her friend sees both sides and has been on both sides but ultimately said knowing her friend (new girl), she won’t feel completely secure if I continue this friendship. She agrees we should sit down and talk in person too.
We are supposed to hang out with my friend and his new girl tonight and I offered to talk in person about this before we meet up with them instead of text where a lot of tone and emotion gets lost (I explained this to her as well) but she took it as I offered it because I didn’t want to nor does she see a reason to.
I don’t want to have to end it with her, especially because she already expressed concerns about people leaving after an argument/disagreement and I don’t want to feed that fear.