Going to have marriage counselling in a few hours, need advice
Long story short, 11 years married 3 young kids. I worked by myself on our two businesses while my husband travelled back home for two weeks. I have not travelled one single time in 12 months. He's travelled 7 times in that time, with friends, he frequently goes out, spends hours at the gym, lives like a single man to be honest. I work more than him, look after our children (one at school two small ones i'm a full time sahm.. except i work with the kids) and go to the gym and do chores. I'm solely responsible for the house and cooking. That's it, that's my life, no going out or free time etc. I do not receive a salary from him and most of my government money goes for rent. When spending his money I am often reminded to be careful. He buys anything he wants for himself and travels extensively. Objectively, I would say he has a better quality of life but Alhamdulillah I won't lie and say I am suffering either. It's just comparing our lives, he is obviously much better off and I struggle with a lot of debt that I'm trying to pay off but don't have a salary and I'm not allowed by him to work anywhere else.
So this issue started a week ago when he returned from his two week trip. I was stressing getting the business and home as perfect as possible for his return. I messaged him several times that I'm doing my best to be perfect but I'm only human. Turns out in the midst of dealing with two seven figure businesses and three children i forgot to buy a bin for our house. All hell broke loose.
He swore at me calling me btch whre daughter of a whre etc all in front of my children. I tried to explain I was very busy and exhausted and apologised for forgetting. It continued. Every insult under the sun. I even fell sick from the stress of doing everything on my own and was bedbound all day so he cooked for himself and the children while I recovered. He likes to think he was a hero for letting me sleep for a few hours (left later to go to the gym while I couldnt move and had to have my oldest son help me) but conveniently forgets that he walked into our room while I was resting and said "inshallah u d*e".
Since then the insults simply got worse and more traumatising (including how much he hates my guts and will never ever travel with me because my company disgusts him so much), to the point where i said i'm scared of his behaviour and he said he will give me something to be scared about. He told me (and our young children) that he is moving out. He also told me he is cheating on me and i will never compare to the girl he previously had a long affair with.
Since then i fell into a strong depression. He always complains and has something negative to say about me. No thank you no appreciation. What is the point of trying anymore? He sent me pictures of my house saying I am filthy and will never change and will always be this way and I never listen. He leaves out the part where I simply did not have time to complete everything because I was working and making sure I am dressed beautifully (also a previous complaint). So how am I not listening when the only reason I don't do something is because I am busy fulfilling 582 other requests?
Nb: i have also been told to get surgery etc to fix my body/face. He watches ig girls and corn and i believe i'm simply not good enough anymore due to this.
Also do I really not do enough? Do all other wives do this much by themselves?
Main question: how do I phrase all of this to the sheikh tonight so I will be taken seriously? He keeps talking about moving out (usually uses this as a way to avoid responsibility and to scare me) and divorce which is what he always does if things are not going his way.
Don't need advice for leaving only on what I should say tonight as I know I will get emotional and cry and forget half the things