sorry for the long read, i just need some advice
my ex and i broke up about a month ago, at first she was very aggressive and angry and had no intention of wanting to get back together, everything i did all just pushed her further away, so after a week or so of trying with no avail, she blocked me, so i started to move on; working out, going out with friends, doing whatever i can to try and distract myself, we adopted a cat together and she ultimately ended up keeping it, so i had no option, got myself another cat since i was depressed about losing the previous one, everything was great for a while, i thought about her of course but it didnt control my thoughts and head as much as it used to anymore
couple weeks has past since we broke up and went no contact. then out of nowhere in the middle of the day she texts me which i was confused by since i know she had blocked me, she accidentally used my card and zelle’d me back the money she used. all i said was k thanks, and then she started to ask how i was doing, if i moved on, all these different questions, even apologizing for how she treated me and that apparently she’s changed and is different now, even invited me to take her and the cat we adopted previously to his doctor’s appointment a couple months from now, i knew i shouldn’t have kept the conversation going as much as it did, but i also missed talking to her. twice she mentioned along the lines “if we were to try this again we have to heal, give each other time to move on from the toxicity we created”
i was so confused. because last time we talked she told me she never wants to get back together with me in this lifetime. so when i asked her what do you want out of this conversation she made it clear again she didn’t want to get back together, so after that i told her thanks for the apologies and kind words but there’s no point in reminiscing about the good memories we had if nothing is going to change, conversation shifted and we just kept talking and eventually it ended mutually cause she had to go
i know she said she doesn’t want to get back together, but those statements of her saying if we were to ever try this again, if we were to ever be in a relationship, we have to heal from this
after that conversation i reached out to her days later to confirm if she actually wanted me to take her and the cat to his doctor’s appointment or if it was all talk, and she confirmed yes, but never gave me a specific date
i’m just stuck, i can’t sleep, im restless just thinking about all the what ifs, why did she say if we were to try again we gotta heal from it but then when i ask her what she wants she’s solid on not wanting to get back together??
it’s been a couple days now since we last talked, and i don’t want to keep reaching out and risk getting blocked, yet again, but i feel like i need clarity, i want to text her and ask her what she really meant by her contradicting statements, because i feel like i can’t sleep unless i know exactly what she wants or if there’s a chance of us getting back together.
should i reach out to her and try to have that conversation with her? or should i try to leave things as it is? before she reached out i finally felt like i was healing and stopped being so obsessive about her, but now that she reached out, i cant stop thinking about her again, help what do i do