When did you start thinking of your partner as the other gender?
Hi everyone! I'm struggling with something and looking for some experiences from other people. My (cis f 42) spouse (MTF 41) figured out she was transgender almost 3 months ago. We have been together for 22 years and married for 17 years. We've been working through this change, and I think it's been going very well, but lately I've noticed that I seem to be stagnating or even regressing in how I mentally think of her.
At first, the changes were really noticeable to me and even some things like mannerism that weren't new felt very feminine to me. But now I find that these things have just sort of been absorbed by the mental picture I had of my spouse from before and I'm still defaulting to thinking of her as the man she was before just with some new stuff like makeup and nail polish.
On one hand, I'm glad that all of these changes are just seeming normal now, but I'm bothered that I'm consistently misgendering her in my head. I think part of it may also be that I am not bisexual or anything and I'm worried that I won't ever be able to disconnect from the thought of my spouse being a man. I was hoping someone has a similar experience and can share their process of mentally adjusting.