r/mypartneristrans

This is my first time posting on here after lurking for a few weeks, so please keep me in check with anything I worded here.

Let me start off by saying I love my girlfriend. We've been together for a few months now. Her dick is the first dick that isn't mine, that I've touched, and the first I've had in my mouth (who among us hasn't tried to have their own be the first in their mouth amiright, fellas?). And I've really enjoyed the experience, more than I might've thought I would before I was seeing her. We even make jokes about how she's bigger than me.

A couple weeks ago, my therapist was asking me about her, and in this conversation, I said confidently, but not in these exact words, that that part of her is not a problem for me at all. Literally one or two nights after that conversation, I had a very brief dream, where I had my fingers inside a, seemingly disembodied vagina. Just a lower half from right above the waist down.. And there was definitley a release, from its end and my* end as well. (*- Not embarrased, sometimes it's been a couple weeks in between, ya know). Then I woke up, and my hand was twitching... It was weird, but it's been on my mind for a few weeks... The funny thing is, before I met my girlfriend, I wasn't even having sex with many cis women often enough for this to even be a 'problem' in the first place.

I'm wondering if the cis men and women that post on here ever have brief moments where they 'miss,' or 'crave,' the opposite organ of their trans partners? If anyone's had this line of thought, or conversation with their partner, I'd appreciate any guidence.

I would be afraid that buying myself some type of 'pocket pussy,' or sex toy, would offend her. I wouldn't want her to say anything like, she's 'not enough' for me, because she doesn't have one of her own. (Though, if that is a good solution, I would take reccomendations for such toys on the comments, as I haven't bought one before).

TL;DR- massively overthinking and overanalyzing a dream I had, and my brain is not trying to tell me that I 'miss' vagina.

I 18(Mtf) and my gf 18(f) are going through a rough time in the relationship right now. She needs a husband and a male presence to make her feel good and feel secure in her life but I don’t want to be a boy. It goes against what I see myself as and it would be disrespectful to myself to act like I’m a boy. Idk what to do. It’s making me want to go just larp being a boy my relationships with everyone in my life to be easier, even though doing that makes me feel suicidal. What should I do

Sorry in advance for the long post!

My husband had radial forearm phalloplasty back in June, and while he's been cleared for all intimacy aside from penetration, we have both been struggling navigating the new dynamic (i have never been with someone of male orientation intimately, and hes trying to figure out where he feels and what he feels physically). Since it has only been four months, he still doesnt have all sensation and he doesnt get his testicular implants until December or the pump to make it functional until sometime next year. However, he still has a strong desire for intimacy, even though he cant reach any kind of *peak* due to lack of complete sensation, and I completely understand wanting to use, explore, test out new things. But I am struggling with feeling slightly devasted at the loss of everything I knew and was comfortable with and knew how to navigate. I approach intimacy with him now and have been struggling with panic attacks because I simply don't know what feels good for him and devastation because (even though I am 100% aware its just because of lack of sensation and not lack of effort) I try and fail at getting him anywhere satisfactory. He doesnt mind and just wants to keep trying, but its so hard to approach intimacy with an open mind, knowing I'm most likely going to fail. I love him with everything and am 1000% supportive and have been present since before he ever even started talking about transitioning. I have loved him as a she, they, and he. It doesnt help that my intimate brain only works about one day a month, so its a constant struggle to do anything at all, but now its even more difficult and I'm at a loss of what to do and how to navigate this. I know its a learning process, I know I need to be patient, I know hes still figuring stuff out and I am too, I know adjusting to a new body part will take time, but does anyone have any advice or anything that has helped or has anyone else struggled with this and know where Im at right now or how to help?

i'm cis and my gf (mtf) has only recently started transitioning. she's finding it really really hard for a lot of reasons, and i'm trying so hard to support her. the thing is that as a cis person i don't have any experience of dysphoria, and i don't know how to help her. i don't understand what she's feeling and i know that the lack of understanding can sometimes make it worse because she feels alone. i've seen someone saying that it's like grief for the body you wished you had? she often says she just wishes she was born a girl and can put herself down a lot when she has bad days. i know i can't solve this issue or anything but i'm just wondering how i can help her on days when it gets really bad. i think she's the most beautiful woman in the world but i know i can't just flip a switch and make her see herself how i do. i just want to be there for her as best as i can.

thank you so much for any advice :)

My wife is a trans woman but continues to present 100% male. Like with a beard male. No interest in presenting as female in any way.

If she walked into a room in a dress and makeup I would be the most surprised person in that room. I would be delighted but very very surprised.

I'm a mostly cis mostly straight woman. I wouldn't say that I'm fluid I'm more viscous if anything.

When she came out to me I gave her my whole throated support and I still do. I love her and I would do anything for her.

We lived in a city until almost a year ago and most of my coworkers back then thought that I was a lesbian because I am that annoying person who brings up their wife and I was completely comfortable with people thinking that I was gay and almost never elaborated on the subject.

Now we live with her very religious family in an incredibly rural area. Rural like you have to drive 20 miles to the nearest McDonald's rural.

My inlaws are very against the trans thing, but we have an understanding. We don't argue about it ever. We simply ignore pronouns when my wife is discussed. I say she they say he. We just coexist in a space where we all love each other but disagree.

It's been a strain on me for a while because my wife has never named herself her chosen name to her parents. When marking something as hers, she would use her security badge number from the hospital we worked at when we met (3 jobs ago for her)

Then this week something happened. My wife is a silly bitch. When left to her own devices she does silly things. I love that about her.

For context we all work together. My in-laws own a chicken farm and we work on that farm.

She started writing silly work type notes, but she signs the notes with her dead name followed by esq. or MD very silly and non serious.

Frankly I'm baffled and frustrated. I'm out here playing the pronoun game with her parents every single day but never had she ever given the smallest amount of effort to affirm who she is to them.

I feel like it makes me look like a crazy person who is pushing a narrative about my wife that she doesn't want.

I can't read her mind and she's not good at expressing her emotions so I just proceeded in using her preferred pronouns.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Even my therapist seemed confused. My masculine leaning lesbian therapist.

TLDR: I defend her identity but she doesn't. Should I be pissed?

I'm broken and lost. I will make another post when I'm able to think more clearly. But I'm too shocked and dazed right now. Hold your loved ones close and give them an extra hug and kiss today.

My (21 genderfluid) partner (23MTF) came out a few months ago. Since then she has had an insane personality shift overnight. Its almost as if shes now an animated movie character from barbie. Saying things like "ohhh my godd thats so adorable!" And being very fashion centered.

Anyways, recently she keeps dropping hints that I myself should transition from FTM. Like "oh my gosh you are such the man in this relationship" or "wouldnt it be great if we both transitioned :)" and various other comments that make me feel like transitioning is some game and not something that you truly and honestly need to think over.

Some background, when I was younger I was determined to be a boy. I actually wished for breast cancer so I wouldnt get boobs. (I was 9 dont judge) however, now adays everyone's so accepting that I geniuinly just do not care enough to transition. I dont need to be a set gender to be happy. I also think its too much work to transition and in all honesty im too lazy to do it especially since I dont really have gender dysphoria. I look in the mirror and I dont have any criticisms im just me.

Anyways am I over thinking this?

Coming out to me also came out of left field because in the beginning of our relationship she was concerned about how me being genderfluid would affect our sex life and relationship as she was a "cis male" and "wasnt into that stuff"

Somethings just really throwing me off about this whole thing so advice is definitely wanted.

My (f37) partner (M to F) and I have been together for 19 years. She came out just over 2 months ago. It has been extremely difficult for both of us in the beginning, but has been getting much easier.

She started a very low (1/5 normal) dose of hormones that she has decided to chop up and take every couple hours instead of all at once. She also has ADHD and is taking Adderall for that. Sleep deprivation is also a big factor for her and I know she had a least a couple all nighters recently. Overall we have been doing well, but something happened that I'm afraid is going to end our marriage.

We had an argument on Wednesday about how long to stay at a family event. It got quite heated, and went off and on for several hours but historically we've had far worse. Our frst few years we had major tempers but we've hardly fought at all since she came out.

At one point she fell asleep on the floor waiting for the coffee to brew. I saw that there wasn't enough water, so I got down to her level and went to tell her so she could actually get machine started. As I approached she startled awake and appeared to be very panicked. She was physically shaking and dropping things but wouldn't let me help or get near her.

From that point on, she has totally changed her demeanor towards me. She acts like a scared animal. She's jumping when I enter the room and I hear her breathing like crazy after I leave. It seems to be physical/physiological. She accused me of tampering with her medicine and gaslighting her. She won't let me bring her food or drinks. She flinches when I walk in the room and always positions herself to keep a massive amount is space between us. She says she has contacted a lawyer and is filing (divorce) paperwork and will not speak to me without her counselor present. I don't understand what happened. Is there a chemical explanation for any of this?

Help! I'm so devastated. A week ago we were planning a cruise and talking about how close we feel to each other. I don't understand what happened and I can't talk to her about it until Sunday. Even then I totally expect her to just announce we are getting divorced and there's nothing else to it. I just want my partner back.

TLDR: I accidentally startled my partner after an argument and now she doesn't trust me. Could there be a chemical explanation for this sudden paranoia towards me?!

My spouse announced at the beginning of this year that they would like to transition. At first i was one of the first people to now she would be transitioning MtF, then she told some friends, and
then some people at work. I support whatever pace she would like to go at, and think its wonderful that she is feeling content enough to open up to people.

The problem we are having is she would like to tell our 9 year old child by Christmas. But have our child keep this secret from the grandparents (my spouses parents). My opinion is that the adults should know, so little ones don’t have to feel the weightof keeping secrets and protecting their parent and processing life changing news.

My spouse seemed disappointed that i didn’t love their plan, and that i asked her to check with their therapist before setting anything in motion. Does anyone have experience with this? I don’t want her to feel like i am forcing her to disclose to potentially unsupportive people, but I want to care for our son’s mental health the best way possible. Helps please? 💜

Hi! Today my(21cf) girlfriend(21tf) was threatened at work today. She works at a smoke shop and has been forced to work alone despite being the only transgender woman there. She always does what she has to in order to keep herself safe, (Not wearing makeup, changing her voice, etc) and has talked to me about how frustrating it all is.

Today, though, she is working a morning shift and had a customer come in who she assumed had just gotten out of prison (He was holding his official release clothes, cash, etc). He spent over 900$, speaking irrationally, asking my girlfriend to take down items, get them out of the box, just to put them back onto the shelves. After about the fifth box, while he kept demanding more things, she got frustrated and asked him to leave. He got agitated, saying, "You wouldn't want to be in my prison cell." Before inching back slowly as she threatened to call the police.

My girlfriend called me right after, and we talked. She's calling the manager of HR, who is her older sister (Not the greatest person, unfortunately), but is worried it will be shrugged off as "Just something we deal with." Which is INSANE to me. She is the only trans woman in that company; it felt to me like a targeted threat, so I suggested that, no matter the answer, she come home as soon as she can, in case he shows up again (Her next customer saw him outside; she kept me on the phone). I googled a few things on how to best support my girlfriend in this time (dealing with this threat, potentially losing her job for leaving, etc.), but none of them are trans specific articles. Any advice would mean the world. The shops have audio and video cameras, so if anything legally can be done with this, that would also be a major help.

My (26 ftm) girlfriend (29 mtf) is getting facial feminization surgery in a few weeks.

I've basically been freaking out these last few days, and my anxiety is so bad I've been throwing up and being extremely depressed.

She's getting it on her brow ridge, eyes, nose, chin, jawline, adams apple, AND gave her scalp pushed forward.

I didn't realize how much happens during these procedures until recently especially with how the scalp will be pushed forward...

I've been having nightmares and day dreams of something bad happening during the surgery....

I'm also scared because I'm going through multiple health issues, trying to deal with a recent diagnosis I got, still dealing with my mom recently getting spinal fusion surgery... There's so much going on. I'll be, as far as I know, the main one taking care of her. But the last time she had a surgery (Nuss surgery), I ended up breaking down because of how much pain she was in sometimes and me not being able to do anything except give her meds on time and make her as comfortable as possible.

But there's so much going into this upcoming surgery. And I don't know what to even get her or do to help support her post-surgery...

She's also really stressed too, but won't talk much about it. We've also been having random arguments due to the stress of it all, on top of our mixed health issues/disabilities and trying to navigate life in a world that's making it harder for us to do even basic things.

I seriously love her. I even plan on proposing to her in a few months after she heals more from her surgery. (We've talked about proposing a few times before.)

But the strain this surgery is putting on us and the relationship before she even had the surgery, is worrying me. Mostly because I'm worried about her and I want her to communicate her worries with me. But she'll seem distant whenever I try to have her talk to me about it. I've also tried distracting her and giving her space to process everything, but that doesn't seem to do much either.

Has anyone else on here either had ffs, or has a partner who had it, who can give me advice on how to make things easier for her? Either before surgery or after?