Wife's first out-iversary
I got the reminder yesterday that it's been a full year since I made this account, so we celebrated my wife's first anniversary of coming out! Here's our one-year update.
First off, she did decide a few months ago to come out to her parents, when originally she only wanted to be out to me. You'd think that would be a big deal but she just texted me on her way home from errands that she was stopping to see them, didn't even tell me she had been considering telling them. Luckily her parents are the kindest, most supportive people in the world. They may not have all the correct language for it, but they rolled with finding out almost 40 years on that they have two daughters instead of one. She also wants to tell her sister, but she's waiting on the right timing for that due to some stuff sis is going through. Telling her immediate family is huge because she's so intensely private.
I've had the privilege of helping her explore her gender expression more. Her personal style can best be described as "cozy goth" like if someone introduced Stevie Nicks to cottagecore. She likes playing with really bold makeup looks, although she prefers if I do her makeup because she's all thumbs. She'd already been growing her hair out for a few years, so she's got some lovely length to play with, but in the last few months her focus has been on taking better care of it and learning what styles she likes. I got her to try a roller set recently and it was amazing to see her take in the final result. We're going to try a pedicure soon.
Originally she wasn't going to transition because of her career. That's not an issue now, because she finally admitted that her career was burning her out badly, and in a few weeks she's going back to grad school to change to a new career path. I think this is going to be really, really good for her. She still doesn't want to transition, but now it's more due to feelings about not "passing" than about being iced out of her career - the new one is way more accepting. I'm trying my best to be supportive of her decisions without pushing her to transition.
We're about to celebrate 19 years together, and our 8th wedding anniversary is in a few months. I'm not kidding when I say this has been our best year together yet. My wife has been able to access and share parts of herself that she always held back before, and getting to know all of her has been a joy. Which is not to say this past year has been perfect - I got laid off and haven't been able to find work; we finally decided to give up our dream of adopting a child; I've had some serious issues with my horrid family of origin. But my wife has been my rock through all of this, and I've gotten to be hers, too. ❤️