Husband coming out as trans
I'm a little lost. Last month my husband came out as trans. He wants to transition to female he thinks. For now I will refer to him as he because no changes have been made (he hasn't requested to be called she).
I love him and will 1000% support him. But I cannot be with a female. I have zero attraction to females. I can be his friend, I cannot be his partner. I want a manly man, sorry.
I just don't know how to feel right now or what to say.
I'm also worried this is one of his phases. He's gone through them all. It's a cycle every few years for him where he finds something new to see if he fits. Depression, anxiety, bipolar, ADHD, bisexual, gay, back to bisexual, open marriage, polyamorous, diets, vitamins, medications, meditation, yoga, sweat lodges. You name it, he's claimed it. I'm not saying he isn't trans or his wants are not valid, but I've seen the same pattern over and over for 20 years. He's gone through so many therapists too, changing them almost yearly when he gets bored of what the previous one tells him. It's like he's never satisfied with just...being... I worry there is some underlying disordered thought patterns which keep bringing him to try and claim new things all the time.
We do have couples therapy but we have not brought it up with him yet.
How do I navigate this? One day at a time? I feel like we are fully disconnected but he is over the moon happy (which is what happens every time).
Again, not discounting that he is trans. Just adding in the pattern info for context to explain why it's hard for me to believe.