How can I get over a sexual mental blockage with my ex gf
we grew up together in hs she’s a year younger than me but she was realizing she was a lesbian and I already knew I was bi. We were super close friends so I’d post like pics of us in the halls or videos of us while we were in class and everytime (even tho the posts had nothing to do with either one of our sexualities or anything remotely involved with it) she’d tell me to take it down bcs she was afraid of getting outted. Here’s how this relates 6 yrs later we’re still in each others lives and started hooking up. We’d like kiss and stuff in the past when we hung out but now she comes over watches a show suggest we drink wine and i know it’s on. The kicker is IM EXTREMELY proficient in BDSM but bcs im bi i practice mostly with men. Im really scared to dirty talk her or be rough even when she says she likes it bcs i have a metal blockage in my brain basically telling me whatever im doing is wrong and I need to stop (or take it down) if yall can kinda understand what im saying. Im afraid to have sex with this girl basically everytime. some of the fear is from me not knowing what to do and a lot of it is from not wanting to feel the shame of her telling me she doesn’t like it like back in hs. We’ve talked ab it but i cant get over the block what am I supposed to do im direly in love with her still and I want her to feel satisfied. I feel like a dog on a leash even tho im usually the dominant one.