I feel like I've never seen that. It just seems like a specific form of lesbophobia that people do it to us
Like do you just go in and ask for an number because I really never saw some like that. Not trying to offend someone or be mean just curious.
earlier, when i was accusing my father of being a lesbian, he told me that he can't be one because he is bad at golf. Is that a thing??? Since when are lesbians supposedly good at golf? He told me that i was really showing my age when i was unaware.
edit: yes i know my father isnt a lesbian. it was a hashtag joke. it was just funny because someone called him the f slur on the street (strange) and he was like "but im married to a woman" and i said "well maybe that means youre a lesbian" and he said "no, im bad at golf"
Myself (M,32) and girlfriend (F,29) have been together for 9 years this month. I would definitely say we have more good than bad thats happened in the relationship.
Fast forward a few months and we are moving out to our own separate apartments. We still are together, doing stuff as a family, spending time and etc. We would have disagreements and stuff but we were ok for the most part.
There would be times she would mention a friend she talked to about something or whatever and I thought nothing of it. She also would say she’s going to have her friends over when she cooked, which all seemed fine, friends cook and drink together all the time.
However, come August 2025 things started getting a little odd. She asked me one day about a threesome and I assumed she was joking cause I always joked in the past about it. But she asked me like 2-3 times, in a mentioning way and turns out there was an old “coworker” from her job she was trying to have it with. I was very confused because she never mentioned anything to me about wanting to try a threesome or that she liked or wanted to try something with a woman. When I flipped out she shut it down and that was it. I even had her cut the friend off cause it just wasn’t comfortable to me.
A few weeks later in September after seeing something that made me very upset and uncomfortable, I looked up her friends name she met from the shelter on TikTok that she had been cool with for a while and under nearly every video or picture, there was emojis like hearts, faces and stuff. Now I know women do this and it’s normal mostly, but it just felt odd. I called her and mention it and she still claims they just close best friends. I told her to come to my house so we can talk and everything.
She told me that they were just emotionally close and best friends. But these are the red flags, I never ever met or seen the girl, I never even talked to her on the phone, and they had been friends since late 2022. She told me the girl had a key to her place, I asked why and she said whenever she needed to get away from home cause she lived with her sister. And apparently she had a key to her place too. I seen where she would take a Lyft to the girls house and stay the night, but it was never ever mentioned to me. I asked if anything sexual ever happened and she paused for a second and they said oh she only grabbed my ass and when kissed once. I also discovered she was letting her borrow money quite frequently on cash app. From what I gathered she would always pay her back and it wasn’t all 12 months but it was a lot, like maybe $1200 or something over a period of like 16-18 months.
After a long argument I told her they can’t be cool if we supposed to be together. So she got her key back and we said we would work on our relationship since she felt she needed to console in someone else emotionally. This was in September when this happened. Fast forward to November, like a day after thanksgiving she gets a called from No Caller Id and I answered it, a guy said hello then a girl came on the phone and asked to speak to her, I said no and to not call her. The girl called back with someone else on the phone cursing asking if she was okay and that they would call the police for a wellness check. When we got back to my place I told her she needed to talk to her and do something cause that wasn’t cool. The problem was, she didn’t do it in front on me. She went home to get some stuff and claimed she talked to her and etc and that was it.
Well, a few days ago out of curiosity I checked her phone log online for November and December and turns out they were still talking occasionally or I’d see how the other girl called like 12 times and it went to VM cause she was blocked. Some calls were short, 3-4 were long like 45 mins and one was like 3.5 hours. Mind you I was never around when she found the time to call her. The last call was on December 28th and I didn’t see anything from the year. She claimed it was just to get her money back but I don’t feel like it took long phone calls and especially behind my back when you told me she wouldn’t have anymore contact with her.
I feel like this was something deeper than she was telling me because a lot of stuff that was happening felt like they were having a breakup or something? Not just a concerned friend! I don’t have any evidence that it was sexual or anything, only just pieces of the puzzle that she told me and sometimes quite vague imo.
Do you think this was two women who were emotionally close and bonded after the shelter? Or does it sound like my gf was having a lesbian affair behind my back?
Also, the friend from the shelter was also gay or bi, I seen her social media and she does mention men but I also see where she dated masc looking lesbians, had girls flirting with her under pics and even out right arguing with them under some of the post. My gf always said that the girl had kids and she would always say it’s her friends with kids too yet under all her social media I don’t see not one trace of a kid. When I brought this up to my gf she then claimed her kids got took or something but she did name the two kids. But she always made it seem like the girl had kids and I just assumed they would play with my daughter but my daughter said the girl never had kids around?
So AIO or wtf was going on?
Tl;dr I feel like my gf was lying about her friend saying it was a close emotional bond and believe it was sexual
This has been an inside question of mine for a few days. Can't get this outta my head.
My girlfriend says she doesn't feel supported by me. For context, my girlfriend has previous sexual assault trauma which she has been dealing with for the past five years and she's made huge progress on.
However, it isn't an area that I'm equipped in dealing with on a regular basis but I try my best to be supportive. I do this by actively listening, showing engagement, asking how she is and if she'd like to talk about certain things deeper.
Tonight she spoke about how something she read triggered her and how she spoke to her therapist about it. She also told me that why it triggered her isn’t something she can speak to me about nor was it even something she felt comfortable speaking to her therapist about. I tried my best to listen and hold space by letting her speak about how she was feeling. I told her she doesn’t have to go further into it if she’s not comfortable but that I was glad she spoke to her therapist about the matter and that her therapist was supportive. I acknowledged that I know the topic is upsetting for her and can imagine it is difficult to speak about
However, then she said that she doesn't feel supported by me and that I should Google how to support somebody. It's just extremely confusing because I feel like I do my best to support her by showing engagement, listening to her, holding space for her but I'm not necessarily by doing the talking maybe because I’m not always sure what to say. She said that my silence and “chatgpt answers” are extremely hard to deal with and unsupportive.
A few weeks ago, she told me that I am not a good listener and she also had to have a conversation with her therapist about how she doesn’t feel heard by me. I don’t want to make her situations about me but I am starting to feel like I’m not enough and that I constantly unintentionally upset her.
I’m so confused and upset. I love her so so much and feel like I try my best to support her. I check in with her during the day and hold space for her even when I’m in work and have often phoned her during work when she is upset.
Is there something I’m not doing ? It makes me question whether or not we are aligned or compatible as it’s not the first time where she hasn’t felt supported by my support. What do you think?
TL;DR the support I give my gf isn’t enough
I'm a transwoman. I recently met a woman who I am strongly attracted to. The thing is, is that she's not a lesbian, said she's never even been with another girl.
We've been out for dinner, drinks, but nothing really seems to click. She knows I'm trans, and I told her "I may not be a gentleman, but I am a lady. I can open your door for you" as we're getting in or out of my vehicle. She seems not to appreciate the effort and just opens the door to get out. Getting in is easier, I walk her to the door and wait until we're there before I click the key fob to unlock the door.
Any tips or advice on how to help her be interested romantically with me? Am I wasting my time and heart here? Any advice or help or tips will be greatly appreciated.
First off I’m not even sure how to word the title what I’m trying to say is when it comes down to sex , she rarely does anything to me but when it comes down to me doing things to her she’s okay. I honestly don’t know how to word it so I hope you can understand 😭
Now , a bit of background. Me and my gf have been together for three years now , I’m her first girlfriend where as I’ve had past relationships. I’m not sure if this is of any importance but I was out way before her , I came out at like 14 where as she didn’t come out until 16 and she came out because me and her got together. And also I’m more masc presenting.
Anyways , I’m just going to get to the point. From the start really in the bedroom it has always been I’ve always been the one giving the pleasure where as I very rarely receive it. It does upset me a little bit because each time I try and initiate it for me I either get straight up rejected , an excuse made “I’m tired” “I don’t feel well” etc or she like gets me all riled up all day if you get what I mean and then like nothing happens. Where as when it comes down to her like shes completely fine and up for it.
I understand lust wears off after so long , life gets in the way but it goes on for months and then I’ll get it and then I won’t get it for another like 2/3 months. I don’t know whether maybe it’s because I’m more masc presenting or she just doesn’t like giving it or something. I’ve tried talking to her and asking if there’s a reason why she doesn’t do it much to me and stuff , but I just always get the same “I’ve not been very well , I’ve been tired , my feet have been killing me from work” another excuse is “I offered you said no”.
That last comment is my other issue , I work night shifts at my job sometimes I’m in till 12pm and sometimes 6am so I get up way later than her and she gets up early at like 8/9 am. She wakes me up to try and have sex with me and each time I’ve told her like I’m exhausted , most night I don’t sleep till about 3/4 am as the time I get back coming in having a bath eating food , washing my uniform etc. I asked her if she could stop waking me up to initiate it as Im exhausted from work and maybe we could do it later in the day / night or a day I’m off from work. She didn’t really listen and was still waking me up super early and when I say no , she hits me with the line. It feels like she does it knowing I’ll say no so she can say she tried and my point then seems hypocritical when I ask her about our sex life.
I know a relationship isn’t just about sex , but as much as people say sex isn’t important in my opinion it is especially psychologically. I know this is me probably overthinking and just being stupid but I feel like it’s because of me , ive let myself go a little bit I’ve put on some weight , I stopped pampering myself as much since I lost my grandad. I just feel like it’s just completely one sided and she doesn’t find me attractive anymore. Has anyone got any idea how maybe I could talk to her better about it and maybe try and try and figure out the problem.
Thank you for reading and I hope this makes sense.
i am a femme and i don’t like someone else touching my vulva even with fingering and clit stimulating (i can tolerate it), i wouldn’t say I’m a top or stone, i like a dominant and giving partner but not this part, so sex is me giving oral and anything the other person wants, me using a dildo with lube for a short while and then getting strapped by the person or tribbing, i like to be submissive in both acts
So maybe this isn't the place for this, but everywhere else looked worse--sorry if this is a r/lostredditors thing. Old dude (M44) hoping for thoughts from folks in this demographic about how someone (F60) might react. For context, she's a Lesbian, and has been out for decades. Like, the last time a dude was around there, she was giving birth to me.
Would you be upset or disappointed if your kid came out to you? I'm deeply lost in my own head about this, that maybe she'll be upset that my life didn't turn out the way she thinks it did. Or that she'll be worried about me. (I think she's already figured out grandkids aren't on the table at this point.) I'm flying up to Ohio this weekend to visit, and there's a couple of these lies of omission that I'm going to leave at the baggage carosel on my way out of the Cleveland airport: we're both too old for it, and I want her to be able to actually know me.
I've got a whole new perspective of what she must have gone through telling me when I found her. (I'm a big redneck looking guy with an obviously Texas-Rural address, there's no way it didn't cross her mind.) This sucks, how do you even go about having this conversation?
(Forewarning: I was gonna post this in r/askwomen, but they require their posts to be short, so I’m asking it here because I am gay!)
Okay, so, my first gynecologist appointment is on Monday. I was supposed to see the same gynecologist about two months ago, but I flaked and ended up blowing the appointment off because of nerves. Weirdly enough, I think my biggest fear is my hair.
I don’t think I’m that worried about her perceiving my pubes. There’s plenty of people online who say gynecologists don’t care. But I don’t see any talk about thick leg hair.
It’s like the amazon on my legs. That hair has always grown really long. I used to be teased for it because I have blonde hair and that crap situation on my legs is basically brunette—it’s very visible and long. You could probably braid it. I never really learned how to shave my legs (I did learn how, but with my legs, it took forever, so eventually, I gave up, and the hair got out of control). I’ll probably try to trim it down as much as I can before my appointment, but there’s no way I’m getting all of that off without cutting myself.
So, my question is, do gynecologists care about leg hair? I’ve seen plenty of answers about the pubic hair, but not the legs. Answers would be great, and advice for anything else pertaining to the appointment would be appreciated too!!
I’m genuinely so tired of being in the closet, but I feel completely stuck.
My parents fund my education and my lifestyle, so I’m financially dependent on them. Because of that, I feel like coming out isn’t realistically safe right now. My mom has also previously said that if I were a lesbian, she would disown me, so that fear is always in the back of my mind.
I’m in a relationship with a girl right now, and I love her, but I constantly have to hide it. I have to change pronouns, refer to her as “he,” and monitor everything I say around my parents. It’s exhausting and makes me feel like I’m living two lives.
It’s not even just about this specific relationship it’s the constant pressure of having to hide who I am and who I love. I feel like I can’t exist openly without risking everything I rely on.
Today it just hit me really hard and I broke down. I even had thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore because everything feels overwhelming and trapped.
For context, I was also sexually assaulted by a male family member last year, which adds to how heavy things have felt emotionally over time. (My immediate family relationship is otherwise okay this is just background context.)
I don’t really know what to do. I feel stuck between loving someone and protecting my entire life.
Has anyone been through something similar? How do you cope when you can’t safely come out yet?
I gained an extra 15-20 lbs in the past year. I have been, honestly, very upset about this and have been working quite hard to diet and get the weight off. I have always struggled with this a bit. My whole family does. We're short and get low blood sugar easily.
My girlfriend is tall, and is naturally very thin. She struggles to even maintain, because she loses weight very easily.
I have an event coming up, and wanted to try on a dress that I thought I might be able to get back into. I did eventually (still too small, but it's progress that I'm in it), but when I tried with her I was still having trouble getting the zipper past, and felt very defeated. Right after I took it off, when I was visibly feeling very upset, she said
"I don't think the way you lose weight works for you." This made me extremely upset.
She's explained in the past that she thinks the way I lose weight is unorganized, and while talking after I got upset, she said that she think the way I go about losing weight is "flailing." She has said this to some affect multiple times. She says this because I don't count calories (I don't). I have gotten upset every time and told her not to say this, but she continues to say it when this comes up.
I find this incredibly conceited, and find the timing of her comments to very hurtful. I have lost weight. I do not track calories very specifically, but do have a general idea every day, and have been successful at losing 40+lbs in the past, and I have told her that.
Is it reasonable that her comments / opinions make me extremely upset? Is that comment in that moment incredibly callous? We are both on the spectrum, but miss slightly different social things.
Hey I have an ex who I’m not going to be hooking up with again at least for a little bit. But the last time we did, she like humped my vulva with her tits and it felt great.
No woman has ever done this before to me and it sounds like something an eleven year old would make up about lesbians to me so I’m scared to ask new partners to do it.
How would you feel if a lady asked you to do it?
i adore women in general but to me there's nothing better to me than seeing a pretty femme in dresses and heels and makeup and long hair, it's always my favorite kind of girl. which is great but the problem for me is that it's really hard to tell if a girl that feminine likes girls. which is also an issue with me because i really don't think i look gay and i have no interest in changing my style because i LOVE being a girl and being girly. how can i go about starting a femme4femme convo other than hinge/tinder?
I've only just came out and let's not worry about that fact oh god don't overthink itttttt...
I want to try and better communicate to my newfound kin and maybe better find folks who would be interested, and better convey that to others, and I'm thinking accessories as I'm a huge fan of wearing loads of them: badge pins to go on my bag, hair clips, hair ties, scrunchies, bracelets, necklaces, so forth. I'm curious, would it stand out with something small like a badge, or do you need to go a bit big and loud to catch people's eye? Do folks generally prefer something a little more grounded like bracelets, or are people keen on one's hair being a giant pride flag to really send that message home? Do you like it when something is clearly a flag or maybe something where it's more integrated into a design but the explicit message of being a flag is perhaps easier to miss to an untrained eye?
I currently have like £50 of random stuff in my etsy basket and debating what ones to buy
​ How is being fat really seen as good or bad?
There is a preference for thinness just like between heterosexuals?
I've been feeling bad about it lately about this. (I am lesbian). What is it supposed to be like to be fat, in a good way and in a bad way?
I'm aware that it depends on each person, but I'm asking for the average opinion.
okay to start i’m F17 and i know i like girls so im not questioning my sexuality or anything, to be honest im just autistic and i don’t really know if what im feeling is a crush or im just scared of the pretty girl.
Everyday on my way home from college i get the same bus as a girl and omg shes actually stunning. Whenever i see her get on i get so nervous i literally feel my heart racing and i may stare a little more than i should. But the downside is that ive literally never spoken to her in my life i dont even know her name or if she likes girls. please help me i dunno what to do