My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years, and she recently told me she wants to break up or is seriously considering it because I haven’t proposed yet. I understand that 7 years is a long time, and I’m not trying to dismiss her wanting marriage or feeling hurt by the lack of a clear timeline. I can admit I probably should have communicated better about marriage and our future.
For the past 4 years, I’ve been focused on caring for a family member with a terminal illness, and that family member may pass-away within the next weeks. I’ve been under a lot of emotional stress, grief, and responsibility. Honestly I have put a lot of my own personal life goals on pause or completely given up on aspirations to take care of my immediate family.
What hurts me most is the timing. This came up right when my family situation is at its worst, and instead of feeling supported, I feel like I’m being given an ultimatum while I’m already trying to prepare for a major loss. I don’t want to propose out of panic just to stop a breakup, but the way this was brought up has made me question whether I still want to be with her.
Has anyone been in a situation like this? Am I being unfair for feeling like this changes how I see the relationship?
TL;DR: Girlfriend of 7 years wants to break up because I haven’t proposed. I’ve spent the last 4 years caring for a terminally ill family member who may die within the coming weeks. I understand she wants commitment, but bringing this up now has really hurt me and made me question the relationship.