We broke up 3 months ago and I still can't get over her.
We broke up 3 months ago, it was 3 years of relationship and I was tired of that relationship but now there's always a thought about what if she ends up with another person and I really don't want to go back to her it was a traumatic relationship.
This is the last one month before we broke up
She got a job in a different city and she wanted me to come to her city it was 2000km away and she really loved me but she was emotionally immature, then there came a guy and I was not comfortable with him, she told me don't worry about him we are not talking, and after 2 hours he texted her and she talked to him and then when I got upset she made it like I was overreacting and because of me she is not able to focus on her job and every one is noticing that she is upset, and then she use to be out with him and other friends or alone with him all night( just want to make it clear she was not cheating because she believed in karma and use to be afraid of what people will think about her) and then when I use to get upset her not giving me time but having time for her friends and that guy, she use to make me feel bad for that, she use to say I am narrow minded and then I traveled to her city 2000 km and she was not that happy as she would have been a month ago, she gaslighted me in thinking that I was the problem and when I left we had a fight and then broke up.
That one month I used to have panic attacks and used to sleep crying and she preferred her friendship over me.
This was not the first time she had a friend in college also and that guy used to like her and I was uncomfortable then also she never broke her friendship and she used to fight with me and then when she realised after moving to a different city she was not even sorry about that.
After every fight she used to tell me that we should breakup, she never came back after our fights I was the one going back to her.
And also just in case she loved me she used to cook foods for me take care of my health and used to always support me in my career and I am a better person because of her.
But I really don't want to go back to her never, I am not able to see my future with anyone as I have trust issue that these things will happen again with me.
But how can I remove the thought of her with anyone else and she is happy with that guy and I was the problem.
And I really want her to realise and want her to come back but I don't want to give another chance, is it wrong to think like this?